A friend of mine cut herself last week and i dont know what to do, she says it wont happen again but im scared

Question

I'm not only scared but i feel like i wasnt there for her, shes more like family than just a friend, i consider her a sister and it scares me to no end, i dont know what to do or say to her and i feel helpless. Even though she was the one who cut herself, i feel the pain too because she's not only hurting herself but me too. What can i do or say to help her, she seems really withdrawn and i feel like its my fault even though ive always told her to call me. Im not trying to make this a me situation, but the pain she inflicts physically on herself hurts me emotional and mentally because i wasn't there to stop her and i feel like i', losing my friendship with her too and i dont wantthat to happen. Weve been best friends for five years and i feel that when i leave for college she might start again and completely drop me as a friend

Answer 1

Em, everyone cuts themself occasionally. Haven't you? I cut myself while trimming some coriander with scissors last week. I think you're overreacting. Buy here some bactine and plasters.

Answer 2

I think you should tell her parents.You said she's like a sis-I'm quite sure her fam considers you fam bcuz ur close. If anything happens 2 her that can result in a serious injury or even death, They're going 2 ask u "Did u Know Anything" & how come you didn't tell us. That would make u feel guilty & depressed. You wouldn't want to be in the same place she may be in now, it sounds as if she is suffering from depression. This is a very serious mental issue, not 2 be taken lightly.She might not speak 2 u if u tell, but realize she's not well. When she realizes that you did it out of love 4 her she'll come around. If she still speaks to you after you tell her parents-make sure you support her 100% in her recovery. That's what friends do.

Answer 3

first of all she needs to see a psych doctor. if she's withdrawn she depressed. Is she sleeping a lot now or not wanting to go out as much anymore? If you answered yes this is a sign of depression. Not to mention her cutting herself. you need to watch that just because she says she isn't going to do it again IT CAN AND IT WILL happen - just pray that she doesn't result to doing it places on her body you can not see (arm, upper leg, etc.) because she doesn't want you to be hurt anymore she may try to hide it from you. Bottom line: she depressed and needs help - get her help before she does something to herself that you CAN NOT change or do something about. Offer to go to the doc with her or if you think she's not going go tell her that you are a little concerned and disturbed about what she did and you need to discuss with someone confidentially. Ask her to go with YOU to the doc and then when you get there privately tell the doc you want to ease her into the conversation because of what happen. You can even call ahead of time and let the doc office know - that way she'll know beforehand how to go about things. Hope this help! Good Luck!

Answer 4

t's good that your friend let you know about her problem, people who have stopped cutting often say the first step is the hardest - admitting to or talking about cutting. But they also say that after they open up about it, they often feel a great sense of relief. Others who can point her in the right direction for further help (a parent, school counselor, teacher, doctor, or nurse etc) should be notified.

There's may be complex feelings or situations that are causing her action, including anger, pressure, relationship problems, loss or trauma, mean criticism or mistreatment. She may have trouble figuring this part out on her own. This is where a mental health professional can be helpful. Most people with deep emotional pain or distress need to work with a counselor or mental health professional to sort through strong feelings, heal past hurts, and to learn better ways to cope with life's stresses. One way to find a therapist or counselor is to ask at your doctor's office, at school, or at a mental health clinic in your community.

Although the pattern can be difficult to break, it is surely possible. Getting professional help is one of the best way to overcome the problem . Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal. These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life's other problems in a healthy way.

Answer 5

First of all, if you really want to help your friend, don't make this about you. You are not in control of who your friend confides in, and it is not your responsibility to control her feelings.

I know you must feel so out of control ( of the situation ) right now, but the best thing you can do is tell someone, such as a school councillor, or her parents.
Many people who cut themselves have shut themselves off from the people they care about long before they decide to tell. Telling someone just gives them confirmation that they may be wierd because of the reaction it causes.
Some people who cut themselves use this as a way to "feel" to bring thier pain to the surface because they don't know how or can't face or deal with thier struggles out in the open ( due to the reaction of others, or the severity of the issue that happened to them)
In other words, your friend is cutting for a reason, and this issue needs to be addressed.
She may be mad at you for a while, and perhaps your friendship will suffer, but ask yourself, would you rather see her alive and getting help then to discover your friend die a year later?

when people who cut confide in someone, they often regret it, and she may shut you out more, thinking that you are placing judgement on her, or she may think you think that she is odd or wierd, demented, sick... she just wants you to listen without judgment and to understand what she is going through, but that's a bit of a twist because you can't and never will relate if you haven't gone through what she has, and then to experience cutting on top of that.
express to her your feelings, how you care and that you don't think she's wierd, and perhaps making an appointment with her to get her some help... let her know you won't desert her... if not now, she'll thank you for it eventually.
God Bless, let us know how things turn out.

Shannon

Answer 6

It is not your job or responsibility to stop your friend. That being said doing nothing would also be wrong. If you are in school maybe you could encourage her to go talk to the school counselor. If she keeps it up you may have to tell her parents. There are support groups for people who cut themselves. There is always an underlying problem. She and a therapist need to get to the bottom of it.

Answer 7

i have had a little experience here with cutting and why some people cut themselves.my daughter cut herself once.all said and done she did it to get attention from her friends. she had a friend she made in grade school whom i found out cut herself on a regular basis(to get attention from her parents first and then from her friends) she moved onto to ritualistic cutting(for some is the only control they have over thier life) not knowing your friend i do know and have talked to alot of people including adults who have cut themselves. each has thier own reason but don't feel guilty this is what she might be trying to make you feel also to get your attention. she needs to be encourages to seek counceling.you are her friend not a professinal councelor. it was explained to my daughter even though she only did it once very fine lines on the inside of her wrist she could have cut a vien and bleed to death.your friend should love herself enough to understand that

Answer 8

We create instituting for girls like her. You may have to accept that she needs to see a specialist and you have no experience to handle.

Be there as a friend, a sounding board for her to talk to and view. When I went thought depression. I had some good friend that lasted even to today. I will never forget how they help me and if you are that kind of person just hang in there and be a sounding board. It sound boring but it means more than you ever know.

Good luck

Answer 9

First of all it is not your fault that she is cutting herself so rid yourself of all feelings of guilt in that form.If shes withdrawn she probably is depressed.You probably do need to talk her into going to the psych doctor or even call the crisis center or suicide/depression prevention hotline in your area also do a internet search for depression hotline on the internet to explain to them whats going on and they should take it from there.And then to maybe you could continue to call her and check up on her instead and just leaving up to her to call you though i know you cant really force anyone to talk but good luck with this issue.

Answer 10

If you are in school maybe you could encourage her to go talk to the school counselor. If she keeps it up you may have to tell her parents. There are support groups for people who cut themselves. how could she cut herself ? wasn't there any adult there at home when the incident happened ?