someone i know well has had strange experiences with being called ugly from their childhood(of course theyve been considered pretty to) but theyve held on to this and theyre female and just cant get over it sometimes.its gotten so bad that even when people arent saying they hear voices of people referring to them as ugly and have gotten so insecure that they are afraid to step outside the house and interact with people even though they are an adult now.oh yeah seeing a therapist and using medication is out at this point.Could you still get in a relationship with her and build her(for guys)?and could you still be her friend(for anyone)?
2006-10-18 02:46:39 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
the reason i said the therapist is out because shes went to therapy before and even the person at the desk that she had to sign in with was calling her ugly under their breath and made her uncomfortable being there and shes had hard time making friends there.She can talk but is usually quiet and shy to open up conversations with other people.and believe or not or not some people distance themselves when a person says that theyve had to see a psychiatrist plus im trying to believe in God enough not to have to use any more medication etc.
2006-10-18 03:38:01 · update #1
Therapy is the only answer - and that's the truth.
That person needs more help than you can give her. She needs to see a therapist who is knowledgable enough to help her out of her insecurities.
There are no quick answers - or magical methods. Therapy for people with psychological difficulties takes alot of time, tears, pain, frustration.... only what a seasoned therapist can really help someone through.
I know people as well (including myself) who could use therapy and psychological healing. It's not easy to witness another's torment, especially someone you care about.
2006-10-18 03:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by quay_grl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all I have to say, you are such a wonderful friend for caring so much about her. She doesn't want to leave the house, how about having people come in to see her with you? Pick a few close friends who are as loving as you are. Start bringing them over one at a time, then two or more. The more she interacts with people, the more confidence she will build. Make sure she gets your friends phone numbers, she needs lots of good people around her. Invite her along for shopping, a movie, something that will get her out of the house for a short time with you and others she trusts. It may take a few months or more, but I think if you move her away from her comfort zone in little steps, she will grow as a person. Once she has some confidence and self esteem, maybe she will be ready for a relationship. If you have taken her this far, please be kind enough to guide her through (with the help of others) the different types of people who are out there looking, good and bad. Share your experiences honestly with her, she will listen. Even if she starts up with the wrong one, she will hear your words at some point and make some good choices.
2006-10-18 03:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is true this is so very sad, people can be so very cruel. personally, i do not believe there are any ugly women in this world. some are prettier than others however, none are ugly. Women are beautiful. Wow, you can try to raise her self esteem, help her by assisting her in applying some makeup and trying new hair styles and some clothing. A make over of sorts. She is going to have to get some counseling, and perhaps you could possibly go with her for the first one or two to support her. And if the stupid secretary said something so stupid she should have been reported and lost her job. That is just totally unethical and rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate. She needs to find a church and perhaps a women's group and make some friends with some real christian women who will not judge and downgrade her. people who do this are very insecure about themselves and find pleasure in making others miserable. I am going to keep your friend in my prayers. this is just horrible.perhaps you can assist her enough to feel good enough about herself with a makeover and then seek some counseling, she really sounds like it would be very beneficial. good luck, and God bless
2006-10-18 14:33:10 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the "ugly" in anyway has to do with their personality then I doubt that I could befriend them for long without being ready to move on.
Why is therapy out at this point, I doubt it's never too late to get help.
It does take patience to deal with anyone that has self esteem issues, and often times I think it also requires tough love. Meaning not just pacifying the person when they feel they have to retreat, but you standing your ground to not allow them to do it.
As for their relationships with the opposite sex, it's going to come down to how they treat that person, they have to be a contributer in the relationship as well, that goes for the friendship relationships too.
2006-10-18 03:08:20 · answer #4 · answered by HoneySweet Minister 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know how you're gonna get it for her. But she really does need some help. I would continue to be her friend, but if she started bringing down my emotions, if I started getting depressed, I'd have to leave her alone. There's no use in us both falling into that.
2006-10-18 02:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by Ha Ha! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, be a friend. Get her some help. Tragic. Words wound. Those responsible have to be left to God.
2006-10-18 02:59:51 · answer #6 · answered by Charlie Kicksass 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are heartless and shallow.
2006-10-18 04:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by Delta Charlie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋