8 years ago i terminated a pregnancy and new told the would be father. it was a casual relationship, but exclusive. i left to study over sees when i realized i was pregnant. i made a decision to terminate.
this is a desicion i do now regret with all my heart and sole. i dream of that baby like i have held her in my arms. i often dream of him as wel, and wake up in a panic, this is really taking a toll on me. i now am in committed relationship with 2 kids, he also in committed relationship with one child. i do know where he lives, and although i do not see him, i am friendly with some of his friends.i do see him sometimes in my town in passing, he is a police officer.
i feel really strongly to speak to himabout it, and why i made the desicion. he does know about 6 years ago, an old friend of mine told him.
2006-10-18 01:48:16 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think most of the grief your having is probably over the baby... who else could you talk to about this... to get real comfort... who would understand more than the father of the child you choose not to have... I know the urge to talk to him is very strong... I was once in a simular situation... but you may be lining yourself up for more pain for he may not react or comfort you in the way you need to get the closure you want... sometimes the choices we make in life will always haunt us... what ever happens... just accept what happened for what it was... you were young and alone... and now that you have children... looking back you feel the children you lost... this is normal... and a grief process that in time will get better... what ever you decide... put it behind you and live the life you created... hope this helps!!
2006-10-18 02:03:20 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, Katie, what a story. A couple of things come to mind: 1) you don't get to have a say in her sex life. I know you want to, but it's not your business. The fact that she is so young means that you should be talking to your mom about all this. Your mom would be able to help you sort out your role, and your mom would be in a position possibly to get your ex best friend some help. 2) Your friend didn't do anything to you for you to be so angry about. Her actions hurt herself, but not you. 3) It sounds like you love and miss your friend. That's important. Maybe she really needs a good friend right now because she's dealing with some pretty heavy issues. She needs a friend who can empathize with her and not judge her. You don't have to condone her actions, but you could be a positive influence on her life. If you find you can't be a positive influence to her, that would be the time to slowly break away from her company. Good luck sorting all this out.
2016-05-21 23:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The choice to terminate must have been difficult for you sry. for that. From what I am understanding you chose to do this w/o even giving him any say in the decision.There's a good chance he's feeling the same thing you are as far as speaking to each other about it. Keep in mind what this could do to his family he has now built.Considering he has been told of the situation by another friend a conversation between the 2 of you may be very healthy for both.Prepare yourself to accept his feelings including anger and pain if you do choose to meet w/him. Good luck to all involved.
2006-10-18 02:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by hardworking_ct 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good to have closure. But hatching up a sad time may cause some pain. If your conscience is really bothering you, than tell him the reason. But try to move on, we all make mistakes. It is part of growing as a person. You have learned from it, and it might be best for your family and his to let it go. Do you still have feelings for this person, maybe that is what is bothering you? You did not end the relationship properly. Think about the pros and cons before you decide to relive this.
2006-10-18 02:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let by gones be by gones,remember your in a relationship now and so is he and to have a conversations about some relationship and a terminated pregnancy could open up a whole can of woop ***...If you need to do this, this bad you need to let your new partner father of your children what you are about to do.. please dont do it behind his back.. and then maybe that other dude does not want to talk about this.I know an abortion is something that lives with you forever.. I had to terminate a pregnancy a while ago,but I learn to keep to my self and I learn to live with my desision as we know nothing you do is going to bring that child back... concentrate in what you have in your hands now do things with the kids you have and have family outings and such... that chapter is already closed my advice is to leave it behind... good luck.
2006-10-18 02:00:08 · answer #5 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the guy alone. You didn't feel he needed to know about the pregnancy, you went ahead and made a decision to abort his child and now because you're feeling guilty, you want to disrupt his life. He's known about the situation for six years and hasn't bothered to contact you. Your time would be better spent getting professional help in dealing with the true root of your problem: post-abortive guilt.
2006-10-18 02:04:16 · answer #6 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best you see a shrink and soon, I'm not saying there's anything terribly wrong with you. You've allowed this thing to eat away at you until you find yourself in such a bind over it that you think of nothing else. There are too many lives that could be messed up if this is not handled properly. See a shrink quick.
2006-10-18 01:59:39 · answer #7 · answered by Cheryl K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it would make yourself feel better, just call him and ask hows hes doing- just as a friend. Then, about your pregenancy, maybe you should see a therapist. Your ex may not make you feel better, and dont torture yourself with trying to ask him. Perhaps its time that you talk to your husband. After all- you DID marry him and he may help you more than your ex will
2006-10-18 01:51:48 · answer #8 · answered by SiNiStEr_THEORY666 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, seek counseling instead.
If this guy already knows about it, and hasn't come to you either, then it's a pain you, yourself will have the burden of carrying.
The counseling will help, and it may help with the bad dreams.
Try and move on for your own sanity and your children and marriage.
2006-10-18 01:54:24 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you ex is over that, but you best believe it when you r thinking of him. he is thinking of u count on it. there's nothing wrong with speaking saying hello, but that's all u want to do me and my ex became good friends talked about the pasted and present times and moved on with our lives. it's OK to say hello
2006-10-18 02:01:43 · answer #10 · answered by TOSHA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋