I have managed to fall in lover with one of my best friends sister. She recently got out of serious relationship and I was helping her get over the break up, during which time I ended up falling in love with her. She says that it will take a while for her it learn to trust a man again and that all she can offer me at this very moment is friendship. I obvioulsy have to accept that, any idea's or advice on what i can do to put her more at ease and get her to open up again?
2006-10-18 01:46:43 · 18 answers · asked by DirtyD 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
above all do not pressure her, that will make her run for the hills! let her come to you, now she knows how you feel, just continue to be the lovely person you sound like. if she is interested she will come to you.
2006-10-18 01:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by sharon f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a loving relationship is a two-way thing - you both have to be in love with each other - pretty much at the same time.
She obviously is feeling hurt and fragile because of the last relationship and maybe she doesn't want to "make the same mistake" again, so she will be wary of starting any new relationship.
She probably needs you to be yourself and be there as a friend at the moment, but you also need to tell her how you feel in gentle ways, so you are not labelled "just a friend".
You can gently start to tell her how much you love her in subtle ways - flowers - companionship - good old fashioned courtship - and be gently persistent if she is receptive (as well as knowing when to back off if she is not ready).
Gently & slowly, you make find that it works between you.
And sometimes it doesn't work and you have to respect yourself and her if it doesn't.
If it doesn't work, simply move on - that's often quite hard but necessary, so you can both get on with your lives.
Good luck!
2006-10-18 01:58:09 · answer #2 · answered by echo c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you have to do is continue proving yourself to be worthy of trust. Be her friend but don't be a *** kisser. That's a turn off to most women. Everyone loves a challenge, so don't just be at her every beacon call.
Be patient, Don't lie, don't run down the ex cause she probably still has feelings for him. Be prepared for the worst situation cause they may very well get back together a few times before it is REALLY over.
The flip side is she may just be giving you the brush off in a very kind way.
Patience and honesty are the two keywords for you to remember. That's what it takes to gain trust. Good luck :)
2006-10-18 01:57:08 · answer #3 · answered by notskerd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you must be yourself, she has to like you for who you are and not who you pretend to be. My personnel view for a man to win my heart are: 1. Be able to be friends at all times. 2. Communicate 3. Respect 4. Honesty 5. Spend most times together but be able to trust each other when spending time apart. 6. Be able to joke around. 7. Show respect for all women and she'll know you will respect her. 8. Be courteous, most men don't open doors anymore, bring flowers from a garden, share a meal together, go to the park for for a picnic, ride bikes to the lake together and jump in the water.
2016-05-21 23:15:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i take it ...this is your first encounter of this dilemma ...just always be yourself. Just suggest some activities ...when going out! such as bowling or for a drink. As these are public places ...you can build the trust that way. She will clearly see that you have no funny ideas. Then in time ...she will come around ...but whatever you do in any circumstances. Do not put pressure on her!
2006-10-18 02:02:19 · answer #5 · answered by darkdealx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just respect her wishes and give her space - I knowits hard when you want so much more - but if you push her too far you run the risk of never being with her. Give her space but let her know you're thinking of her - send her a text every couple of days enquiring about how shes doing - send her flowers - keep it light though - dont overdo the affections! Im sure she'll come round in no time! xx
2006-10-18 01:53:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her space, that is very important! Dont go sending loads of txt messages, or phoning or anything like that!
She´ll make up her own mind of what she wants when she is ready, and if u annoy her she wont like it!
Take and easy and wait for her to be ready!
2006-10-18 01:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by zorroorojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her you will be her friend with no pressure and then if you still feel the same for her in a few weeks or even months ask her out on a date.
2006-10-18 01:55:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing other than be circumspectly Honest.
In other words, be Honest, but not totally. Being Too Honest might scare her into withdrawal
Sash.
2006-10-18 02:02:22 · answer #9 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't win her heart its either there or it isn't. forget about her friendship, forget about her. if your mate is a good mate stick with him. a woman will only offer you friendship out of pity or guilt. an easy way of letting you down so they don't feel bad about doing it. warning signs " it's not you its me, i don't want to hurt you i'm not good enough for you" ect..
2006-10-18 02:02:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋