I have been married for 9 years not all happy. My husband has cheated before and I think he might be again. Dont know if im paranoid or my feelings are right. What should I do?
2006-10-18 01:12:03 · 37 answers · asked by pinky perky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if he has cheated once he is perfectly capable of cheating again...the "hurdle" of actually cheating has been crossed.
what you should do is decide what you want, and what you are prepared to accept
you need to look at the whole situation
do you still love him? do you still want to stay with him?
are children involved?
talk it out with him, if necessary with someone to mediate
good luck to you, and i hope you find happiness one way or the other
2006-10-18 01:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very sad to hear of your troubles. Nobody can tell you what to do, if you want the marriage to succeed then you have to totally forget all that has happened in the past and move forward - I guess many people would find this very difficult. I'm afraid that if you are not able to do this then the marriage is doomed. You need to ask yourself whether you think this man is worth all the upset he is causing you. Remember to always keep your self respect, always make sure you look good, try to smile and be interesting, a good saying is this
A wife should be a cook in the kitchen, a sl*t in the bedroom and a lady everywhere else. Make yourself impossible to resist. Be adventerous and spontaneous. I really hope life brings you all you wish for.
2006-10-18 19:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say love, but he might be cheating on you again.
He will know to try and cover his tracks more by going more underground, so finding any hard evidence of another affair might prove fruitless. However, it would be best if you can try and get some concrete evidence if you can, but for now take note of all the little things about his behaviour that alerts you he is being different or different towards you, and remember there's nothing like going on your gut instinct on matters like this but to make sure your not being paranoid about things and over reacting, you should try and get some hard evidence if you can.
As for me, I'd go with my gut feeling and if your not happy in the relationship you should get out of it. Its hard to find or renew love and happiness together once a partner has cheated on you.
Goodluck
2006-10-18 06:32:14 · answer #3 · answered by snogger18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to you feelings,is he acting the same as he did when he cheated before.If you have to ask yourself this question then something is wrong just watch him closely,monitor how long he takes on journeys,is he making excuses to go out or be in late.Little things like this will soon let you know.I hope he isn't but if he is please be strong and don't put up with it anymore,i was married 9 years and my ex had 7 affairs well they were the ones I found out who they where the others I couldn't find anything about them but he also used prostitutes and i forgave time and time again,the last time I threw him out i desperately wanted to take him back but i knew in my heart a few months down the line I would be hurt again.
2006-10-18 07:54:06 · answer #4 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since you say he's cheated before then he probably might do it again or not. But i have a hutch you are just being paranoid. Dont let it kill you ok, if you really love your husband and he loves you too then there must be trust. Its easy to forgive but not to forget, if you have to trust you must forget and hey you could even get busy and take your mind off him for a while or you could tell him you guys need to get away and do another honeymoon treat him especially nice before hand( tuck him into bed, give him a massage, pedicure,cook his favourite meals,treat him like you'ld treat a child you love so much) so he'll be able to see a reason why you deserve it and then you can regain that trust gradually. Its all about you
2006-10-18 01:30:04 · answer #5 · answered by bombom 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first of all you have to decide if you are willing to go through all the hurt you have gone through before. Have you tried sitting down and talking to him and telling him how you feel and see what he has to say, if you think your marriage is worth fighting for ask him to go to counselling with you and if he wont then there is not much point in being with him, if there is kids involved you have to decide if you want them to see that mammys are there to be used by daddy and thats all, a womans gut feeling is never too far wrong and you cannot be accused of not giving him a second chance, good luck and remember you are worth more than that. it will be hard if you split but if you dont and he is cheating you will feel terrible for the rest of your married life and the whatif will always be there.
2006-10-18 10:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by cha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AHHH
Come on their is never smoke without fire, once a cheat always a cheat i am very sorry to say.
Trust your feelings women, don't let this man drag you down again come on....
You need to get strong and independent , sort your life out.
You only live ONCE life is way too short for unhappiness,your a long time dead...
i suggest stop worring about if he is or isn't,
you found out last time so you will this time (karma hunny)
So get saving or whatever you have to do and get out , find yourself someone who loves YOU and will worship the ground you walk on, stop bein a doormat ....
Good luck break the chains while you can ...
Live YOUR life Mrs come on be strong...
Good luck
2006-10-18 02:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by loulou777 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheat always a cheat, trust your gut feeling its usually right. Kick him out and start living your life. Everyone deserves to be happy, good look
2006-10-18 05:59:57 · answer #8 · answered by dunne09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, now based on what you're feeling, I'd go with a yes. You say he's cheated before, but why all the sudden do you get the feeling he is again??? Perhaps he is and he's just giving off the vibes, ya know?
2006-10-18 01:28:28 · answer #9 · answered by t.larae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no don't think your paranoid
once a cheat always a cheat
i wouldn't have took him back the first time as it proved he is at it again just boot him out and try and move on with the rest off your life before he really does get you paranoid
2006-10-18 02:19:22 · answer #10 · answered by veronica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋