My ex was, as they all are, really horrible to me when we broke up and for a long time afterwards. We've stayed in touch as occasional friends and I just found out his fiancee just left him. I do feel horrible for him because I know what he's going through but part of me is pleased he's hurting like he hurt me. Is this natural?
2006-10-17 22:44:55 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
what comes around goes around !
your reaction to that news, is entirely normal and natural
Serves him right ,if he was jilted by his new fiancee
he deserves a good kicking for the way he treated you .
LOL!
It seems to me, that he was not worth ,
all the heartache he gave you.
smile and move on .......
>^,,^<
2006-10-17 23:04:13 · answer #1 · answered by sweet-cookie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! - it's human nature to feel that retribution, in some fashion, has been dealt out. It's Ok to feel for him and his pain at the moment but what you need to be more concerned about is i what this break up of his might mean to you - if he made some sort of effort to come to you for consolation, 'forgiveness', reconciliation...... I'm sure part of you will think 'perhaps you appreciate me now - maybe you now know how much I was worth to you.....' this is also normal and human nature - but -
think deeply about why he became an 'ex fiancee', how he treated you when you broke up - he seemed to be riding high and didn't give a damn about you and your feelings then, and then think about your own self worth - if he asked would you consider taking him back? Should you? Only your own conscience and personal beliefs of right and wrong can tell you that. Personally I would say keep him at arms length if you don't want to turn him away completely - don't give him a second chance to hurt you as badly as he did the first time
2006-10-17 22:57:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O
2015-01-28 12:36:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever emotions, reactions, mannerisms are found in common amongst a large number has been found to be termed as 'natural' ! There is a sense of security in a herd.. this is natural. And therefore the emotion is 'deemed' to be natural !
The very question suggests that there is a capability to overcome this 'feeling' if need be. So the true answer is within. If such feelings of 'hurt', or 'pleased' are going to anyway enhance the quality of life, then may be it can be allowed, else, mere observation of such feeling within will dissolve it and free us from any residual effect. Nothing more is warranted.
2006-10-17 23:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by Spiritualseeker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all about the karma baby and he just got what was coming to him. He hurt you and you loved him all at the same time. You're so normal to feel this way. You didn't wish bad on him, it just happened. Maybe he'll be kinder and more sensitive in his next relationship due to his experience. I hope you have moved on with your life and are finding your true happiness. You sound like a very caring person to "feel horrible for him because I know what he's going through". Much happiness to you.
2006-10-17 22:55:42 · answer #5 · answered by BIZ Z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Germans are realistic and honest enough to have a word for this -- "Schadenfreude" -- which means enjoying another person's discomfort. It extends to any situation where we are entertained or cheered in any way by another person's misfortune, and while it's not our most lovable trait, it is so very human. In this case you are vindicated. Another woman has confirmed that your views of your ex were correct and this might stifle any nasty tongues. So, yes, it's natural -- but don't gloat. That would be taking it too far in the case of a nice person like you. And I think you must be nice for even querying whether it's all right to feel human in this way!
2006-10-17 22:54:17 · answer #6 · answered by Doethineb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No feel anything either way. The cat's a loser. If you feel bad for him, even a little bit, he'll come sniffing around and lay a big head trip on you and you'll be back in the mess all over again. Hope you have somebody else goin' on. But there are many, many woman who still love men who are horrible to them and walk all over them, and screw around. See Hillary Clinton, for example. She's kind of made it all right for women to be doormats. Let's old Bill screw around as much as he likes. So if the Smartest Woman in the Whole World lays down for it, who am I to say it's a bad thing? Go for it!
2006-10-17 22:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is normal because he was so horrible to you. You probably feel as tough he is getting some of it back. What goes around comes around. I would not allow these feelings to consume me. That would be abnormal and obsessive. Then you would probably want to seek some counseling. However, I would try to get past this, and remember, he is an x for a reason. Good luck and God bless
2006-10-17 23:21:02 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have made some very undesirable possibilities in marriage companions. It happens to a good style of human beings these days. you have invested a good style of time and emotional potential into those relationships that have disintegrated in the previous your very eyes. notwithstanding if we've positioned time and potential right into a dropping proposition, we've nonetheless invested the time. you nonetheless sense upset that it does not artwork out. you're blaming everyong on your issues different than for you. you are the single that is drawing those adult males into your environment. you enable human beings in. You draw human beings based on the style you're, advantageous or unfavourable. you have drawn a pair of customers, in all probability because of the fact there is an exceedingly deep area of you that likes for use. you are able to desire to be greater careful approximately what you're putting out for the reason that's what you will get decrease back. this might properly be a fundamentl factor of existence that a good style of human beings have forgotten. in case you do in comparison to what existence is giving you, inspect what you're giving to existence - for the reason that's what you're getting decrease back. you're great. you like no one yet your self to be stable, advantageous, and crammed with desire for the destiny. FP
2016-10-02 10:14:12 · answer #9 · answered by schugmann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I think it's natural. I bumped into an ex a couple of months ago. When we were together he always had this thing about his hair, was forever fixing it! He was under the impression that he was the best thing since sliced bred etc.
When I saw him I noticed that he was starting to loose hair, quite a lot of hair. That made me feel fantastic!
2006-10-17 22:55:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋