He met my family and I met his.
My mom has a great flair for making people feel at home and she was just great.
His folks were watching me with evident disapproval and his sisters were very very rude.I felt singled out and excluded from the general cammaraderie.
He thinks it's all in my head.I asked him and he was pissed off.He told me that had watched too many movies.As a rule,we never discuss race.It's a no-no.
Am I being paranoid?
2006-10-17 22:39:48 · 17 answers · asked by Amy Lee J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh,I'm White,he's Black
2006-10-17 22:51:08 · update #1
Oh,I'm White,he's Black
2006-10-17 22:51:11 · update #2
It certainly sounds like reverse discrimination to me. I think your intuition is right. I really do not have enough information to objectively say for certain. The mere fact that you received the negative feedback from him and his family tells me it is a race thing. If it wasn't a race issue someone would have been cordial enough to accept you.
2006-10-18 06:45:29 · answer #1 · answered by Search4truth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are issues that should have been addressed before. Being in an interracial relationship is not an easy thing todo. Just keep in mind that if you really love this guy and your willing to put up with a bunch of crap, YOU will be the one that becomes a better person in the end. Hang in there. They cant be mad forever.
2006-10-18 05:46:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Uhh... if you're white, and he's white, and all the families are white... then yes, you're paranoid.
But if different races are involved, then that might be the underlying cause. The fact that your bf isn't willing to talk about it (and getting pissed off) would raise a red flag with me. Is that a situation you can deal with for the rest of your life?
2006-10-18 05:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by IceTrojan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most probably you're being paranoid. Sometimes its a good thing to be paranoid, trust me. Sometimes u have to talk about serious issues, e.g. race. Just to get it out of the clearing. And if u genuinely feel not at home with his family, try to ask him about his family what they like, what do they prefer and try to win their hearts. I know one day that one of his siblings will question u why do u like him so much, tell her the truth. Try to fnd where do u guys have in common. That will be the fastest shoo-in. Good luck.
2006-10-18 05:47:27 · answer #4 · answered by IcyBlue2412 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess you should ask him to ask his family why they aren't as friendly as one had hoped. If its a racial thing...I understand why you guys don't discuss race but in this case, I think you should forget that rule this time. I think you should try to talk to your man about this because its directly affecting you and if he cares for you, he'll be willing to address the problem and help you out and your relationship. Take it slow and well, cajole him into it. Take care and good luck.
2006-10-18 06:01:33 · answer #5 · answered by stormsandblues 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably wouldn't like you if you were from a rich family and they were poor. The problem with the world is the ones who are out finger pointing racist, is usually the one with a race problem. Like kids on a school yard ... the one who cries racist first wins
Maybe his family never liked ny of his girlfriends no matter what the color
2006-10-18 05:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not the questions of race,i think its the questions of attitude his family have...we often says that we don't care if the parents or family of soon to be husband or bf is againts us but i think its wrong a relationship can't really work out good if one of each side is againts or had a bad attitude over it.Anyway there's always an exemption to the rule.Just give them some more time.
2006-10-18 05:56:21 · answer #7 · answered by kimy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a rule you don't discuss race??? does that answer your question??? he may accept you cause he wants you personally but his family is not the ones who are going to be with you all the time and have to accept you because they haven't picked up as the one they want for him. you have show us that there is a race problem if you can't talk about it and it is a no no. he can't make them like you as you can't make them either. ask yourself do you want to be with someone that has barriers and no no that you can't talk about. there will be others in the world who will give you a hard time about it too are you ready for that?? think about it and think is it worth it and is he worth it. it will be a life long situation to deal with and are you prepared to deal with someone you want to be close to not talking about it to support you when you need it?
2006-10-18 05:47:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U might be right. Cause my family will go mental if I go with other race. Thus this problem will exist as long as there is different races.
2006-10-18 05:47:27 · answer #9 · answered by Sob Sob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you'd best talk it out and not avoid the issue. It might not be the problem but it might not be something you can shrug off so quickly. Maybe they just don't like you, not your race persay ;)
2006-10-18 05:44:53 · answer #10 · answered by grifokid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋