what happens during a miscarriage?

Question

my friend has had a miscarriage, I would like to be able to help her through this difficult time, but I don't know what happens and she isn't able to talk about it.

just the facts please!

I know what ait is, I wanted to know what happens during, I'e bleeding, pain?

THANK YOU!

You have all been so helpful!

Your advise and genuinely caring responses have made me feel a lot better and a lot more informed on how to help my friend.

I hope that some of the answerers look at this and feel good about themselves.

I can't say 'Thank You' enough!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx!

Answer 1

There can be lots of bleeding and cramping or none at all. Sometimes there is fetal death but, the tissue does not release on it's own. Your friend might have to see a doctor and get what is called a D&C basically the removal of the contents of her uterus. It's a similar procedure to the one used for abortion but, don't worry it's safe and contrary to what many pro-life groups who have you believe, very rarely has complications. Things like a hot water bottle and advil will help with the pain.

Hormonally and emotionally it will be a different story. Whether the pregnancy was wanted or unwanted doesn't matter that much. She will be having strong emotions right now that could be anything from grief to intense relief, saddness or guilt. Simply listen to her and be there for her. Practice active listening and don't judge her feelings. Her pregnancy hormones are going to dramatically decrease and she may get a little bit depressed. It will probably take a few months for her cycle to get back to normal and for her to feel like herself again. Watch out for her and make sure she doesn't fall into major depression. Let her know she's cared for. Support her. Maybe take her out for a 'girls night' or stay in and watch movies. Give her chocolates and comfort things like herbal teas or scented candles.

Don't focus on the miscarriage or try and make her talk about it. Don't be afraid to act like usual either after letting her know you are there for her. As they say, life goes on.

If it gets to be months and months and she's still not herself, don't be afraid to suggest therapy.

Good luck and I hope your friend recovers without any problems.

Answer 2

Firstly, let me say - What a wonderful, caring friend you are to want to help your friend at this very sad time.
I have had a miscarriage. It is a very traumatic and emmotional time for any woman.

I am not a dr. and cannot explain the whole miscarriage procedure(loss).

Basically, what has happened is this: The embryo has stopped growing for some reason(usually they never know why).
I don't want to speculate why your friend has experienced one
but let me say that it is very common.(sadly)

She probably experienced a very heavy bleed with severe cramping. It all depends on how far along she was in the pregnancy also. The further along, the more traumatic the bleeding and cramping would have been.

I hope she did see her Dr. as usually a D & C is given just to clean out the uterus. Sometimes, pregnancy can occur quickly after(if she is trying).

The best thing to do is to say nothing.
Just be there for her.
Don't say(and i have had this said to me before)
Don't say 1) You Will have another baby.
2) There was probably something wrong with him/her
3) Your still young, there's plenty of time.
4) It's for the best

Comments like these only bring more pain.
I think you are truly a wonderful person for posting this question and for being a caring friend.
Maybe buy her some flowers or offer to take her out to lunch or buy her something nice.(that's if she is up to it)

If she is having a hard time dealing with the pain, encourage her to seek some counselling.

Best of luck and God bless you!

Answer 3

These are the facts for me other than the physical info the you have been given by others.

She may be thinking or feeling some of these things over the next while.

I know I can’t be tiptoed around forever and I don’t think that I really want to be. At the same time try to be sensitive about the things you do and say. If you think it might be bothering me it probably is and so just acknowledge it, show me that you support me.

When you don’t know what to say just be there if you really want to say something say your sorry.

The pain doesn’t go away after a couple of weeks. I will hurt every month that goes by that I am not pregnant and should be. I will especially hurt when my due date comes and a year from when I lost the baby. It is difficult to see other women pregnant and I feel like dying when someone has a due date near mine. If someone else would remeber these anniversaries and just write me a note or send me some flowers I wouldn't feel so alone in my sadness.

Good luck and thank you for wanting to be a good friend.

Answer 4

What is a miscarriage?

A miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy before 24 weeks, with most miscarriages actually occurring during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. Unfortunately, miscarriage is very common, affecting one in eight pregnancies.

What causes a miscarriage?

There is seldom an adequate explanation for why a woman experiences a miscarriage. Studies inform us that approximately 50 per cent of lost pregnancies have failed to develop normally, either due to chromosome or genetic problems or because of structural (bodily) problems. There is no apparent explanation for the remaining 50 per cent of cases.


Certain maternal illnesses are associated with an increased risk of miscarriage, although these are very uncommon.


Smoking increases the risk of miscarriage.


There is a gradual increase in the risk of miscarriage as the woman gets older.


It is important to remember that an ordinary lifestyle that includes exercise, going to work, minor falls or taking the Pill before pregnancy does not increase the risk of miscarriage.

What are the symptoms of a miscarriage?

The most common symptom is bleeding from the vagina. Lower abdominal pain is also very common.

Some women have no symptoms at all and the miscarriage is only diagnosed when they are given an ultrasound scan at their antenatal clinic. This is referred to as a 'silent miscarriage', and can be very distressing for the woman and her partner.

What to do if a miscarriage is suspected

If a woman is bleeding from the vagina and feels pain then she must consult her doctor.

When is it necessary to consult a doctor immediately?


If the woman is bleeding at such a rate that she needs more than one sanitary towel per hour. In this case, too much blood is being lost and the flow must be stopped.


If the woman feels weak or faint. These are both signs that she is losing too much blood.


If the woman experiences severe stomach pain, this may be a symptom of an ectopic pregnancy.


If the woman experiences fever, shivering or a smelly vaginal discharge, this can be a sign of an infection or inflammation.


All these conditions are potentially serious and must be treated immediately.

What does the doctor do?

An abdominal examination is usually combined with an internal (pelvic) examination. In this way, it is possible to determine if the bleeding is a sign of a pregnancy that is destined to miscarry or one that may continue. An ultrasound scan is the most useful investigation. This is performed through the abdomen or through the vagina and gives precise information about whether the pregnancy is continuing or not.

What if my pregnancy is continuing?

Provided the bleeding is not too heavy and the pain is controlled by simple painkillers, then you can go home. As long as the bleeding continues, it is advisable to keep off work. Bed rest is not essential and does not influence whether the bleeding will continue and result in a miscarriage or not. If a pregnancy is destined to miscarry, there is, unfortunately, nothing effective that you or your doctor can do.

What if my pregnancy is not continuing?

Again, depending on the amount of bleeding and discomfort you may be admitted to the hospital or allowed home. If the scan shows that there is no blood clot or tissue in the womb then nothing further needs to be done. If there is more than just a little tissue or a blood clot then a small operation called a uterine evacuation may be recommended.

What happens after a miscarriage?

Following a miscarriage, it is advisable to take it easy and rest for a couple of days. It will help if the woman has someone she trusts with her, so that she can talk openly about her feelings. After a couple of days it is often helpful to return to a normal daily routine.

After a miscarriage a woman might experience headaches or have trouble sleeping. She may also experience lack of appetite and fatigue.

Many women feel anger and sadness after a miscarriage, while many others experience a strong sense of guilt, even though it is not their fault. These are all natural reactions.

A miscarriage can be frightening, confusing and depressing. It is natural to feel grief over the loss of a child. Women should not let people ignore or belittle what they have been through. The people they choose to talk to must be prepared to listen to what they have experienced and deal with the strong emotions involved.

Any woman who finds it too difficult to deal with her grief, or who continues to feel depressed, should consult her doctor for further help.

What if more than one miscarriage is experienced?

If a woman has three miscarriages in a row, this is known as a recurrent spontaneous miscarriage (RSM) and a referral to a gynaecologist for special investigation is recommended. Provided the investigations are negative, a woman's next pregnancy still has a 70 per cent chance of being successful.

When can I try for another baby?

There are no hard-and-fast rules. The right time to try for children again will vary from one couple to another: some will want to start a couple of weeks or months after the bleeding has stopped, others will want to wait longer. It is, of course, advisable to recover from the worst of the emotional upset before starting another pregnancy.

Will my next pregnancy be successful?

Following one miscarriage, the risk of the next pregnancy being a miscarriage is not increased beyond the overall risk of one in eight.


Remember to keep taking folic acid to reduce the risk of the baby being affected with spina bifida.


If you smoke, give up.


Often a woman gains considerable re-assurance by having an early scan. Ask your doctor or gynaecologist about this.


i have been there myself 3 times , just be her shoulder and have plenty tea bags .

Answer 5

I think mary pointed out some very good things, just one thing to add... Don't say I know how you feel... The saying is over used and does not comfort. I have never had to be there for a friend going through this, but in other bad times. When I could not relate or know what to say... I learned listening, and being there is more comforting than any other thing you could ever do. Let her have her emotions, whether it be anger to sadness to happiness. I wish you luck, you are a good friend for wanting to help her through this time, good for you.

Answer 6

I have had a miscarriage, and i had bad stomach cramps,
and the loss of the fetus is distressing, you know you are "passing" it, but there is nothing you can do, there is a heavy bleed as well. It is psychologically distressing, as well as physically painful, and distressing. Your friend will need a friend right now, just be patient with her, she has been through a traumatic experience, give her time, but what i have described to you, is probably what she has experienced, and it is a terribly upsetting thing to go through. Give her my regards, and i hope she soon feels better.

Answer 7

When there is a spontaneous abortion, many times it happens because the baby would have had so many disabilities that wasn't able to sustain life. Miscarriage then may also happen if there is trouble with the umbilical cord or if the mother suffered a trauma like a car accident.

Answer 8

i had a miscarriage a few years ago i started to bleed just slightly and i went to the hospital i waited hours to see them and the babys heart stopped beating then the baby came out of me in like one piece and i had another one where i just bled n bled but i think it all depends on the months alot of thing go through ur head after a miscarriage

Answer 9

You may feel a sharp pain and also see blood

Answer 10

You lose the fetus, or the baby. Depending on which stage of pregnancy you are.