I left him several times because I couldn't bear his behaviours in our one yeared relation. but I still miss him so much because I love him. he always accept that he is wrong and he will change himself but he didn't.I am confused. I don't know so much thing about his life and his character and we saw eachother not more than 2-3 months totally in this one year.he always keep his life as a secret.he didn't use the many chances I gave him. whenever I left him he came to me and beg me to take him back to my life.am I stupid by still loving him and thinking about giving one more chance to him????
2006-10-17 22:05:41 · 11 answers · asked by AbsoluteLY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He is unreliable, unkind, abnormal and not trustworthy. Hey girl, in this case listen to your friends OK. I think if you are attracted to a man with those qualities you have some deeper issues you need to work on.
2006-10-17 22:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by Victory ! 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Plain and simple honey, yes you are stupid. Not to sound rude, but, you are being stupid. If he is not trustworthy, reliable, or even kind to you, what is there to love about him. If you have given him so many chances to change and he never does, you need to realize, hon, that he is using you. He is playing on your emotions. You don't need to take him back, let him beg. Be a strong woman and let him go. If he hasn't changed yet, he never will. You need to move on with your life without him in it. Be strong!
2006-10-18 05:11:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When anyone keeps their life a secret that is a red flag. He could be married.You only saw him 2-3 months in a year, so you really would not be losing that much. You deserve a full time man. Tell him good-bye
2006-10-18 05:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by stariei 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away for a couple of months until it becomes a habit. You know NOTHING about him - you even say you only saw him for 2-3 months and he kept it all a secret. 3 months is only 12 weeks, girl! Why should he stop abusing you if he knows you will come back? He is going to abuse every woman who comes near him. Ok, you love him, fine. You can't afford him.
2006-10-18 05:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by Kacky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life has taught me this lesson.....
if you read a book and don't like the ending ??? how many times would you read it again?? We can't always pick who we will fall in love with, You not your friends have to decide if you want to keep seeing this person!! Your not stupid, many of ppl have been put into this similar situation in life
2006-10-18 05:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by Sheena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just can change someone's character or actions, thats totally up to them. YOU have got to make a decision that your relationship is OVER...and then you can start your life again with a sense of freedom and adventure!In your question you said he's distrustful, unreliable, unkind and not normal...Sounds like you can do better...SO DO BETTER!
2006-10-18 05:15:21 · answer #6 · answered by HumbleOpinion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you might need to step back and look at this from a different perspective.
ask yourself if you saw one of your friends being treated this way, would you approve?
what kind of picture do you see for your life? if you want more pain and confusion, keep choosing this relationship. if you want something else in the picture, choose differently.
something i have learned just recently is that you cant force someone to treat you with respect. if you dont see it in your current relationship after giving many chances for him to show you love and respect, it may be time to move on.
if someone knows alot about your life and refuses to share his... that is a huge red flag. he isnt trusting you with details, and eventually you will feel that the relationship is one sided.
until you choose differently... ie. stop contact with him, you will get the same results.
You are caught up in a cycle of codependency, which can only get worse. You might miss him for awhile after you decide to leave him, and thats normal. We grieve even what is not healthy for us in order to really let it go.
Some ideas to end codependent relationships:
- dont give to people who arent reciprocating (giving back to you)
- dont enable abusive behavior by making excuses
- dont wait for the person to change,.. what you see is what you get... (think of how hard it is for you to change something in your life... do you honestly think he is going to change for YOU?)
- be consistent in what you will tolerate in any relationship (set limits and stick to them)
You are not by any means stupid, my friend. There is a life lesson here, that you are meant to learn. Once you learn the lesson, you wont attract people like him into your life. You'll attract loving and respectful people once you become loving and respectful of yourself.
hope this helps... you might want to read books by melody beatty ... she is an expert (in my opinion) on codependency and how to change these patterns in your life. do a search in your library for her books.
2006-10-18 05:21:13 · answer #7 · answered by maggiemae821 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not stupid. this guy is not coming thru for you no matter how good his heart is(he probably thinks he can change and you belived him because he did want to) if you have to choose between getting that nice cell phone you always wanted(your current boyfriend)or paying the rent and putting food on the table(getting rid of him) it seems pretty clear
2006-10-18 05:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by keoni_21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, he is hiding something from you. Probably the fact that he is married. You don't know and within this amount of time your not going to know. If he really loved you, he wouldn't hide his past from you. You have given him more than enough chances. Now it is time for you, to move on.
2006-10-18 05:09:51 · answer #9 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just like drama with elements of romance but the end like comedy. Have fun.
2006-10-18 05:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋