I had married my husband when i was young.It was love marriage.His was third and mine first.He was just recovering from his prev Divorce and i appeared to be a fresh thing in his life.First 2 yrs were very good.We had a baby also.After that we moved in with his parents and things started going bad.He started being physical.In the mean time my teenage affair got opened up to him.In our initial courting days i never told him as i was scared of losing him,thogh i had tried telling him but at that time he told me it doesnt matter to him.After he got to know,i told him everything in detail and left the decision for him to decide upon the marriage.He decided to continue with the marriage but gradually his behaviour got bad.He became very physical.At the same time took me on costly vaccations.He also had difficult times at his work.I had been faithful to him in our 8 yrs of marriage.Other than his inbetween temparamental behaviour he sounds good to me.During his bad behaviour he calls me chea
2006-10-17 20:54:34 · 15 answers · asked by jennifer r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He also has been without a job becoz of his own doing.In the mean time i got a job and that becoz he asked me to take it up as he felt it would stop my fights with his mom.After i took up the job he would fite with me all the time.I met a coomon friend of ours who also happened to witness our previous fightes and had bailed me out from the problems.We got around talking and today we are in love with each other.He also is married and says he has problems in his marriage but not like mine.In the eman time 3 months bak my husband asked me to leave the house all of a sudden.He has done this 2 yrs bak also.At that time also i went rejoined with him on my own,though my parents were against it.He has this habit of disconnecting with me during fites.I have been away from my husband and my child whose custody my husband has taken by playing dirty tricks ,for 3 months.I have been talking to this friend of mine for last 6 months.We just share everything between us on phones.
2006-10-17 20:57:00 · update #1
My friend says he loves me and we just talk every day to each other.We are in love thats for sure.But at the same time i dont know my status of marriage.I am not legally separated.My husband made me leave the house and till i was living with him i was faithful to him.But after he did this to me ,which he has done before also,i became emotionally close to my friend.Di i continue loving him.My husband hasnt called me up or kept any contact for last three months.He doesnt even let me talk to my child.I really dont know what is in his mind.My friend talks to me everyday and i feel we are soulmates.Only thing i am not able to decide is that shld take the plunge in loving him or should try to work on my marriage.Though i have no hopes that my husband will improve.I dont love him anymore as he has exploited my feelings all the time and manipulated my love for himself.He suffocates me all the time.H elikes to feel that he is always right.On top of that he becomes physical.
2006-10-17 20:58:20 · update #2
He has been good when he wants to be and bad when he wants to be.I am one person who likes to remember good things and forget and forgive wrong things.I miss him a lot though he has done enough to hurt me .He has taken my child from me and i miss him a lot.Miss the life when just three of us together.Lot of people got between us and both of us realize that.But he doesnt want accept that it his parents role also in that.He has been divorced before also.I started my life with him and have learnt many things thru him.He was also older to me by 09 yrs.I end up hearing his music recorded for me.What do i do?I miss the life together.My well wishers tell me to move on life.Its not that easy.I am living with a hope that things will be alright one day.Is it depression. Is it going to take time for me to become normal.Is it possible to live without my son.i CANT THINK OF LIVING MY LIFE WITHE ANYBODY.Do i still belong to older thoughts
2006-10-17 21:01:43 · update #3
I have been separated from my husband.There is no contact with him.In the mean while i have a friend who has been there with me during my crises.We eneded up sleeping with each other and we also realize we are in love.But at the same time i dont know my status of marriage.I would like to give a second chance to my marriage provided my husband gets in touch with me.He has kept my son also with him.He had been physical with me and tries to prove everything wrong in me.I had found a friend who would listen to me all the time.At the same time he also wants me to be happy and back in marriage.Mine was alove marriage with my husband and at times feel that i am still in love with him.Or is it that i was in love with the routine.We had too many fights.Is sleeping with my friend for once called infedility?We just talk each other everyday but have resolved nothing like that should happen again.He is also married.Too confused.Should i go ahead with my relationship with my friend or should wait
2006-10-17 21:04:08 · update #4
DR SH,I am not a bad woman as u are trying to potray me.Yes they were mistakes ,,,,,but at the end of the day we humans only make mistakes.Do u want me to live with my mistakes and never look up in life.I am only 30.With so much in my life ...do u all feel i will live to pay for the punishment .If that is the case then i dont desre to live.
2006-10-17 21:29:13 · update #5
Hard rock
I have tried to contact my husband.He doesnt come on line.Incidentally he was physical right from the begining of the marriage.I would like to reconsider this marriage for my childs sake but i also feel that the fightes shouldnt put adverse affect on my child.Atleast this way he is happy .With two of us together he sees more fights.My husband equally loves my child.I am so confused in life and nothing interests me in life.
2006-10-19 20:25:01 · update #6
My advice to you is:
Speak with your husband immediately: Open up the subject of saving your marriage or not, and relate to what is going on now. The present situation is very unhealthy for all of you, including the children. Better to open up the wound and let the pus come out rather than keeping it inside and infecting the whole body. I believe that you are the one who should initiate this talk since you are the one who wants to save the marriage. I hope that your husband will listen, and if he agrees with you, you should both go to marital counseling.
Let's focus on you: What kind of person are you? Do you have friends, hobbies, or interests? What do you like and dislike? How is your life outside of the marriage? Do you like your work? Do you spend enough time doing things that interest you? Do you let yourself do and enjoy activities like eating good food, reading, listening to music, going to the movies, meeting with friends?
The bottom line is: start to take care of yourself in any way that you can. Learn to like yourself; be with people who make you feel good about yourself; improve your physical look; take an interesting course.
Save yourself as much as you want to save your marriage.
Then you will have the strength and self-confidence to find a solution to your marital problems, whether or not the solution is to stay together.
Good luck,
2006-10-19 01:02:37 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have made some serious mistakes in your life and now they're all catching up with you. Firstly having a teenage affair and then letting your husband know about it is like telling him that you are a potentially unfaithful partner. Men don't forgive their wives for having affairs, before or after marriage, no matter how many affairs the men themselves have had. Its bad but its true. Secondly you had a love marriage, which also doesn't really work because everyone blames you for your failures rather than help you since both sides of parents' don't forgive their children for doing that. Also when you knew that he had been divorced THREE times, you should have known that this was not a good idea...something must be wrong with this person to be married and then divorced...not once but 3 times so you were wrong to get married to him. Thirdly you had a baby, you should have had one after many years so that you would be able to judge the sucess of your marriage before adding a baby that you have now lost. Fourthly now you are having an affair with a married man, have had sex with him and are screwing up another woman's life with your affair too...that's makes you a very bad person. Obviously this friend of yours who loves you, doesn't love you enough to leave his wife...he's just using you for sex and you gave it to him...he doesn't love you at all really. And if you do marry him, what kind of future will you both have, how well with his family love you for getting him divorced and replacing his wife? You are a seriously screwed woman. You should get divorced from your husband, leave your friend permanently and get a new life. Its hard but you should have thought first before making such big blunders in life. Now you should become a decent woman again and learn to live with the consequences of your actions.
2006-10-17 21:17:16 · answer #2 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your problems, and they are serious problems. Your most important problem I see is leaving your child with your abusive husband-BIG MISTAKE! Abusive people will normally will NOT stop being abusive without intense therapy. So your child has been left at the hands of someone YOU were afraid of, how do you feel about that? If you were to go to the Family Courts, and tell them your story, ask that your soon to be "ex" husband be given a "Personality Disorder" test, I am pretty sure he will fail, and you would be very wise to take your daughter and start a NEW life together. Leaning on another man at this time I feel is very foolish, especially an married man. If he is MARRIED and doing this to his wife NOW, what will make him treat you any different when you end up being his wife?? Think about it, your heart knows the truth-follow it.. Good luck! Sue d
2006-10-17 21:11:33 · answer #3 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheer up.Its not good to be low,there is always something to feel happy about.You cherish the memories and the times u have spent with ur husband,we all do.We like to cling on to things that once made us happy.But u might just be losing out on ur present.Your child,for sure needs u,he deserves to be loved.
As for ur husband,never know,if he really needs u.I guess,u r in the state of mind that u would do anything to set things up like they were when u initially got married,it could just happen.Work on it,go ahead,with the consent of ur friend,talk to ur husband.If things work out,great.Otherwise,u have to move on.
GOD BLESS.
2006-10-17 21:59:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try hard to get your child and start anew. There is always a reason for the things that is happening in our lives.
2006-10-17 23:13:14 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it was me, my priority would be the child. i would do whatever i had to, in order to get back in good graces with my husband, then secretly plan how to escape with my child. i say forget about the other men for now , it will just make matters worse. once you get back in there, take the baby back to your fathers house, and for goodness sakes, behave yourself!
2006-10-17 21:24:22 · answer #6 · answered by cee jay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eih first things first..you need to talk to your husband and figure out where your relatioship is going so that you could make a decision whether to divorce him or what..then after knowing where to start everything will follow and fall into place...
2006-10-17 21:06:53 · answer #7 · answered by queen_maan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oops! I thought I would answer a question. Sorry.
2006-10-18 06:09:23 · answer #8 · answered by ECQC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey Jenny, carry on with life....no need to be upset....let bygones be bygones..... past is past...try and forget tht and carry on with ur new lease of life....all the best...and remember not to have commited the same mistakes again that happened with ur ex.....
2006-10-17 23:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by Rishabh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont wait, i know you like this other guy, but do you think its too close to home? it might cos more trouble than what its worth
2006-10-17 21:02:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋