We were going to be married. Now she wants to have the rapist's child. I dont think I want to raise this child and she wont have an abortion.
2006-10-17 20:30:12 · 16 answers · asked by Go For Broke 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also she will love this rapist's child more than me. this is too painful for me.
2006-10-17 20:32:28 · update #1
Listen that child .. HAS NOTHING to do with you.
1. It's NOT yours.
2. It's NOT your responsiblitiy to take care of it.
3. I wouldn't marry her anymore. Why?? because when she got raped, she could have done a whole lot to prevent pregnancy.
4. It's unfair to you my friend, think ... why would she want to have this rapist child, what she feels bonded to the guy?? Why honor that rapist like that.
5. When he gets out of jail, that's even more problems, he finds out she's married, it will be more stalking, he mite even kill you just because he's jeolous.
6. Say they didn't find the rapist, then again that will lead to all sorts of problems again.
7. Check to make sure she doesn't have any diseases please.
8. IF you do marry her, you'll ... listen let's don't even go there. SKIP the marriage.
If you don't then .. you'll have to get burned .. and you'll rememeber this conversation we had. "I TOLD YOU SO".
Good Luck (I'm so sorry this had to happen to you my friend)
2006-10-17 20:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by hhgdgdfg 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You say you've only been together for 2 weeks, so at the moment I don't see any obligation that you have to stay with her and support her child if you don't want to. You should look at it the same way as you would if she had consensually had sex and fallen pregnant. Would you still be there and stay with her to support the baby that isn't yours? If you don't want to support this child, then you have got to make the decision asap so that she doesn't get hurt even more further down the track, or so you won't hurt the baby when you walk out of its life. It sounds like she is going to love this baby with everything she has, regardless of the circumstances, which is very lovely and noble of her. Although you are only 17, so this seems like a lot of responsibility for you to walk into so early in a relationship. Whether or not you would like to help her raise this child, you have got to help her out with the police and with some counseling. Be there for her emotionally, she is going to need someone to lean on right now. She must be going through a lot and especially with her being pregnant she will be extremely vulnerable right now.
2016-05-21 22:53:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truely love her, then you can do it. She is not going to love the baby anymore then she would love a child that was both of yours. I believe that this child deserves a chance, and did not ask for this, no more then your girlfriend asked to be raped. Also, are you absolutly sure that it is the rapists child and not your own? Life is precious, and I am pro-life, but in situations like this, I am also pro-choice, but it should be your girlfriends choice and if you love her, you will stand by her and this child, no matter who "fathered" it.
2006-10-17 20:42:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lori S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love her so much and if you're getting married to each other, why not? A child is always a child. They're helpless little beings with the need of love and care. U should be supporting her, not neglecting her preferences. Wake up and smell the coffee. If u can't be with her for her choice, tell her. Maybe she'll hate u for that but at least u're honest. BUT not brutally honest, yeah? But personally, I think u should give it a try.
2006-10-17 20:47:17 · answer #4 · answered by IcyBlue2412 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I understand where you're coming from. I couldn't imagine how you feel. On the other hand, look at it this way. Your fiance was raped. She is not pregnant by choice. This child didn't ask to be conceived, and deserves a chance. I personally am Pro-Choice, but you two really need to discuss this. If you both feel it's something you can work through together, then support her. If not, maybe you should go your separate ways. I would suggest you seek couples counseling. Best of luck to you both.
2006-10-17 20:36:07 · answer #5 · answered by munkees81 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She shouldn't have to have an abortion either. If she wants to raise the child then she's doing a good thing and you should be proud of her for not letting the rapist get to her and affect her feelings. And it's not the child's fault is it? Just vecause it's got the biological's of that man, that doesn't make him it's father/creator anything. He's just scum and you're letting him wreck your relationship.
2006-10-17 20:33:31 · answer #6 · answered by Nicky 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Every new life is a gift from above. I would not punish the child for the brutal acts of a rapist. Good luck sorting out and separating your feelings about both.
2006-10-17 20:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its her choice really and do you love her enough to accept this about her. Its best if she gets an abortion but if she's not willing, then its not your decision. Let me see, she went through an enormously traumatic experience and wants to keep the child from this crime and YOU are having problems dealing with it? That's a bit selfish of you. If the victim of the crime is willing to live with it, why aren't you? You might not really love her and you both should go to counselling because otherwise this marriage won't work.
2006-10-17 21:20:29 · answer #8 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be very hard for me to raise a child not mine. I would either go way or be with her. I bet she did not want it to happen to her. Think of it this way, if you can't in your heart deal with the fact raising someone not part of you then better leave. However, it is better to be with her if you really love her.
2006-10-17 20:45:35 · answer #9 · answered by Nes S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will raise the child, for it is not her or childs mistake. If you love your girlfriend, you should allow her to havethe child as the child is also part of her blood and flesh
2006-10-17 20:39:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋