2006-10-17 19:19:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
now let's move on to what is within your area of responsibility and control. Here goes:
Self-Control - Right now you're hurt and angry. Why shouldn't you be? You do all of the housework and the childcare. That wasn't the deal. When he was a resident, you were willing to take on the extra burden. You wanted to help and support him. After all isn't that what a loving partner does? But where's the reciprocity and where's the fairness?
I suspect that there is no end to how angry you can be. Nothing gets us more enraged than the feeling that we're being taken advantage of. Your problem however is that what you want is justice and fairness and what you need is cooperation. It seems to me that you approach your husband with the attitude of "you owe this to me". The result is that you get the predictable response - "No I don't and I won't do it."
You need to decide whether you wish to be right or effective. In marriage being right means you win the fight and lose the relationship. Muster up your self-control and take a chance on being effective. Approach your husband from a spirit of cooperation. Assume that he is capable of being a competent father and husband. Ask him his opinion about issues of childcare and family finances. Invite him to join you in solving household problems and be appreciative if he does. If he understands how exhausted you are, he might be willing to hire someone to help with the household and childcare.
One thing is certain, as long as you are in an angry and blaming mood you will not elicit his cooperation. Use self-control and be effective.
2006-10-17 19:30:22 · answer #1 · answered by sandeep k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the same thing that happens to me with my roommate. The fact is that the yelling doesn't always help. I've just given up and am letting everything go until it bugs them and they do something about it. If they see that you arent't going to do it all then they have to decide what standard of life they want. It may totally annoy you but believe me it is well worth the wait.
2006-10-18 02:38:50 · answer #2 · answered by gretphemelger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as said WHAT SHARE u have 2 b a little more specific in order to let dr . jaz help u.
2006-10-18 02:25:18 · answer #3 · answered by jaz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who defines his share? Did he define it and just doesn't do it? Did you define it and he doesn't do it? Or did you define it, and not let him in on it, and he doesn't do it?
A relationship requires communication. Ask HIM this question. He will provide the answers you seek.
2006-10-18 02:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by Lord L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he has someone to do it for him, he never will. So, the next time you do laundry, only do your own, not his. Don't pick up after him. In short -- don't be an enabler of his bad habits.
2006-10-18 02:27:02 · answer #5 · answered by Jack 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His share of what?
2006-10-18 04:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by MintyMint 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. Make sure that you are communicating your needs to him. Communication is the only key to a marriage.
2006-10-18 02:49:06 · answer #7 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how unfair he is being and sit down and decide what you expect him to share.
2006-10-18 04:01:43 · answer #8 · answered by Swan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on strike
2006-10-18 02:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by Baby boy blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his share as in???
housework, financial support, sexually.....more specific :)
2006-10-18 02:23:13 · answer #10 · answered by David S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋