What do you think about someone who commits suicide?

Question

Are they selfish? Is it sad? Do you think they completely understood how much pain they caused? Do you think we have a right ot judge them? AFter all we have no idea what kind of pain they were in themselves.

Finally, what do you think about people who mention suicide to thier friends? Are they attention seekers? Could they realy be serous?

I know it varies in every case, but please tory to ansr what you think about most times.

Answer 1

A colleague of mine killed herself 2 weeks ago so I've been thinking about these issues. I've also had exposure to suicide through volunteering at a mental health agency.

It's difficult to say they are "selfish" because they typically can't clearly gauge the effects of their actions on other people - I believe their turmoil heavily distorts their perceptions. So I wouldn't call them "selfish" so much as they are "blind". That blindness can be intentionally driven, but usually it's caused by some precipitating events that create the blindness they should see a psychologist for.

Some folks on this forum have said they should just get a better job, move somewhere else or try to get a better life. But as we all know, life can move very slowly sometimes and those changes can be slow, maybe moving so slowly for some people that they think those changes will never happen. And what if their wife died and they don't think they can live anymore? They need counseling asap, but some people might not get there in time before they do something rash.

I don't think I'm able to judge them because I usually don't have all the facts of their circumstances, and judging won't help them or anyone else anyway, only positive actions will help.

Mentioning suicide to someone in my opinion doesn't necessarily equal clear intent to do the act, and those folks should just be directed to a psychologist as soon as possible.

Answer 2

I haven't looked at the other answers because I am assuming that many people will say they were selfish. I used to think the same way, and in a way I still do. My argument, however, is that we will never know. Could you imagine being in the position in your life that you see no other way out than to end your own life? And actuallly go through with it. It has to be a very lonely, sad place that they are in. There was no other way out and they made that conscious decision. As for people who mention it, sometimes it may just be a cry for help. They may actually want to do it but aren't quite there yet. They are still too scared and have some hope that it will get better. I am not saying it is right, I am simply saying that who are we to judge, cause unless you are in that exact position, you don't know what was happening.

Answer 3

It's always sad when a life ends prematurely, but I've yet to know of a case where the person who did it was not also extremely selfish. Committing suicide is the ultimate selfish act. Not only is that person displaying total disregard to everyone who is going to have to deal with what s/he's done (and seldom is the "no one cares about me" case real), s/he has decided to play god, go against the natural order of things, upset the balance -- choose your belief. I also think that, in order to commit suicide, a person has to truly talk him/herself into believing that his/her problems are so centered on that person that life in general is conspiring against him/her.

If someone is mentioning suicide to you, it is a call for help. Don't ignore it, even if you're relatively certain that person is kidding. If you're in school, tell a teacher or guidance counselor. If you're an adult, tell someone else in that person's life (parent, sibling, etc.).

The only time this is possibly not the case is when a person is deathly ill and decides to take charge of the time and the how, when death is imminently inevitable anyway.

Answer 4

I generally think that people who commit suicide were simply too overwhelmed by their situation to deal with it. Suicide can be a very attractive answer to people who are overwhelmed, confused, lonely, or people who feel absolutely helpless.

I don't feel we ever have a right to "judge" anyone, much less someone who was in so much pain that they felt death was the best exit.

You mention the pain they caused, but, unfortunately, it's very hard for a person in that situation to see that -- perhaps they would have reached out to the very people they would hurt, if they realized.

When we mention suicide, it is often because we are at the boling over point. I don't think they are attention seekers in a negative sense, so much as they are NEEDING attention, in a positive loving sense. And yes, they could really be serious.

Answer 5

Hi,

I heard that you should always take people seriously who talk about committing suicide. Most successful suicides were attempted previously. And most people who do commit suicide had tried to reach out to others before they decided to take their own lives. That leaves the family & friends feeling guilty wondering if maybe they could have prevented it.

Selfish is not really the word for doing it. It is very sad that they could not see a way out of their problems. They must have been very depressed. Nobody really knows what is going on inside of their minds so we should not judge them, we should try to help them. I'm sure their pain must have been very great at the time if they saw that as their best option. Suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem.

There is help available. Try these webpages:

http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.suicide.html

http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/suicideprevent/en/

SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE: Call 1-800-273-TALK

You can also try your local phone book for additional suicide prevention hotlines & resources in your area.
They are crying out for help when they talk about suicide! Please take them seriously. They need professional help quickly.

God bless

Answer 6

Yes AND no.. Animals are capable of commiting suicide, they will do it if a bond is broken. If the bond wasn't strong enough, the animal would be sad for a short week, and then be normal again.

Answer 7

Everyone has the right to do with their life what they feel appropriate, including ending it.

It is a notion derived from religious dogma that suicide is somehow wrong. That notion originated from times when the church as the major land owner needed as many hands to work on its land for next to nothing, as possible. So the church invented all kinds of rules and commandments to justify inequality between people and to prevent those poor and underprivileged from killing themselves, when they saw no way forward.

I have been in that situation myself, being close to suicide, and I find it a gross piece of ignorance when others, who have never experienced that level of pain, suggest that suicide is selfish. They do not know what they are talking about. I am certain that most people who committed suicide simply felt such a level of pain that they could not bear it. And the suicide was the only option they saw, and a relief. There is not a Divine law saying that one must hold on to physical life at any cost.

I can imagine that there are some pople who like talking about suicide when they do not really mean it and this is equally wrong and very irresponsible.

If you would like to expand your thoughts on life beyonf the physical, read "Rational Spirituality" on the Dhaxem website. It is a fast growing knowledge about life, the Universe and the Divine laws, shared by the thinking people. One day soon this knowledge will replace the religions, and a more sensible perception of human values will be introduced into human consciousness at large.

Answer 8

i think it is very sad. i don't think it is right for anyone to judge the person though. i have had some experience dealing with the after effects that suicide has on the survivors. it leaves so many questions unanswered most times. i think if a person mentions suicide to a friend, they are trying to reach out somehow. they could very well be serious and should be listened to. i don't think suicide is selfish. a person has a right to live/die according to their their own inner beliefs. we have no right to judge. it is sad under any circumstance for the survivors, but you've got to remember that this person was in pain. some kind of pain that was unbearable. i don't think a person who is suicidal is an attention seeker, just in pain, and sometimes all a person needs is a good listening to. i wish i could tell you more, i wish i knew the answers you are seeking, but i don't think your questions can truly be answered except by someone who has actually succeeded in committing suicide........it's painful.

Answer 9

It's a very difficult question. I think most who commit suicide are in so much pain emotionally or physically that they feel death would be better than living. If they can be helped, than I hope they can find that help before they chose to kill themselves. However, who are we to judge why someone decides they no longer want to live? As far as those who discuss suicide with friends or reletives they could either be serious about wanting to commit suicide (although generally if they've already made up their mind they would just do it.) Or they may be simply seeking attention or most likely of all they are in alot of pain and want someone to help them. If someone you know is talking about suicide the best thing to do is do everything you can to help them, find out why they feel this way and do whatever you can to help.

Answer 10

Suicide is an act of desperation that manifest it's self for several different reasons. Many times with teenagers, young adults and even older folks, it is a loud signal. They are crying out " Hey, somebody, anybody, I'm having some real problems. Please, somebody help me". When this occurs, the person really doesn't want to hurt themselves. They just need some help. Many teens take an overdose of over the counter medication, thinking it won't really hurt me, but it will bring enough maybe, that my family, friends or anybody will wake up and realize I need help. The problem is that (1) Tylenol overdoses don't kill. They destroy your kidneys and you wind up on kidney machines for life. (2) death by aspirin is a horrible death if you die and if you don't, your most likely left "stroked out" and messed up for life. Either way, if that person thought things were bad than, it's most certainly much worse. As far as pain to others...Yes and no. Yes, because many times this person has thought this through and have realized the pain they'll cause and that's what's kept them from doing it sooner. No, because sometimes this person is in so much mental anguish, they can't think straight. Right to judge them? I suppose it's natural to want to judge them, but do any of us really have any right to judge anyone. have we walked a mile in their shoes. Only those who have walked that razorblade have any real idea of how much mental pain surpasses physical pain. Friends who mention suicide to friend are seeking attention and thank goodness they are. Never assume it's just to get sympathy or attention. Think of it as a signal flare for help and tell a school teacher, their parents, the principal. Do something pro-active, otherwise you'll live with it the rest of your life, if they go through with it. Do noy try to handle this by yourself. Find them professional help and just be a friend. Remember that people who commit suicide are not really in their right mind and need help. If their thyroid is not working right, it can cause depression, they may have a family history of depression and haven't been diagnosed, they may be under extreme stress that they are not dealing with, they may be in a really bad relationship, marriage or situation of which they feel there is no escape or alternative for other than suicide. Last and certainly not least, teenager's hormones are going from zero to 100, at this stage in life and it causes some to act "out of control" and do crazy things. If your a teen, you have to learn to "self evaluate" and if you see that your behavior is out of line, use your mind to control or balance your hormone surges, otherwise get help. Hope I helped and if I can answer anything else, e-mail me.