My 14 year old stepson was in my 12 year old daughters bedroom, and he begged her to apply makeup to his face. She refused at first, but finally gave in. When his father and I entered the bedroom, it was a shock to see him sitting on the bed totally clad in foundation, powder, lipgloss, eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara. He also had my daughter's glittery body spray on. AND he had some styling gel in his hair. The thing about it was he looked completely comfortable in the makeup. In fact, his facial movements mimmicked a feminine female's perfectly. However, when he saw how his father was looking at him (he was about to explode), his demeanor changed dramatically. He was very uncomfortable and was very nervous as he tried to reassure his dad that he's "straight". He asked several times, "Dad, are you mad??" I tried to smooth it over, telling him that his dad was just shocked. I also told his dad that IF he is gay, he'd rather him say "I'm gay" than "I have 6 months to live." He agreed.
2006-10-17 17:43:05 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He has done this at his mom's house a few times, and he told me his mom has called him gay (which I do not agree with). He has always been sort of "soft". He doesn't like sports, prefers video games, etc. We also caught him bringing up pics of certain male anatomy on google. Is he curious or is there a good chance he's gay??
2006-10-17 17:45:28 · update #1
His dad was an idiot and told me, "I'm going to take him hunting more. I'm going to teach him how to play football." I told him, "Uuuhh...gay men hunt. Gay men play football." He really is closed-minded about it all.
2006-10-17 17:50:40 · update #2
Well, it's a RELIEF to find a step mom who seems cool about their step son being gay. My step mother was a total raving biotch about it, and guess what? I grew up VERY resentful of her and I still am.
What should YOU do? You need to support him in his actions and let him develp as he wants to develop. If he's gay, he's gay. He'll figure it out.
As far as the dad? Educate him. Don't let him act stupid or you'll just see a perfectly good relationship go STRAIGHT down the toilet.
2006-10-18 20:54:27 · answer #1 · answered by Charles 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you have no problem with it, why are you looking for answers here? And it doesn't really seem to me you are respecting his privacy, anyway. So, the guy may be gay, and he is only 14. As you might guess, this whole thing can be very confusing to a 14 year old. It might be better for you to allow him to tell you his private business in his own time. Of course,this doesn't mean that as a parent you shouldn't provide good, medically-correct information about condoms and other precautions. If he is online, this is not indicative that he has been sexually active, but it is good indication that he is soon going to face this possiblity. Chances are, you will not be there. How wisely you handle the next steps could determine whether he decides to trust you or shut you out of his life. There are lots of good books about 'growing up gay' on the internet from Amazon for parents and friends. You can also contact a group in your town's Yellow pages or referal directory called 'PFLAG' which is there to help parents understand how to love and support their children if they turn out gay. Good luck and God bless.
2016-03-18 21:23:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOTS of possibilities here.
1) He thought it was funny. The specifics make this one a little fuzzy ("begging" his sister for help), but it's possible it was some kind of dare or something. 14's a good age for that kind of thing.
2) There's actually a really good chance he may be transgender, which is completely seperate from whether he's straight or gay.
3) 14 seems a little young to just be getting into gay-drag, so...I'm leaning toward one of the first two. BUT, it is possible. It's also possible that he's transgender and ALSO likes men.
Whichever it is, the best you can do is get educated, and try to demonstrate that you're receptive to any news. Voicing accepting opinions about queer issues (and paying enough attention to know what those issues are) go a long way, and he'll tell you what (if anything) is up in his own time.
2006-10-18 16:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by Atropis 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Cross-dressing is not an indicator of sexuality, but gender role identity. If he has an affinity with the feminine gender role, he may be a cross-dresser, but STILL BE HETEROSEXUAL.
He is only 14. He could be just interested in a career in make-up. Being creative is not a sign of homosexuality. David Bowie wears make-up and he is married to a black supermodel. He is straight.
Let him develop and discover. Relax. It's not like he has been caught molesting a child.
2006-10-17 17:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He does sound gay. He might just be a creative, sensitive straight guy; who knows?
Whatever the case, he should know that his parents accept him, no matter what. It will help him develop the self esteem to live his life more fully.
If you or Dad do NOT accept him the way he is, regardless, then you are going to cause pain and distance.
2006-10-17 18:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So what if he is gay? How is that going to make him any different than the way he is now? Why don't you try asking him if he's gay. And if he says yes, than are you going to look at him any differently than the way you did 10 minutes ago when you thought he was strait. If you love him then you shouldn't care.
You honestly make me sick.
I'm A woman and I am strait, but that doesn't mean that I'm better than any person who is homosexual.
2006-10-17 20:46:31 · answer #6 · answered by cougarbrooke08 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He may be gay; he may not be. More than likely, your son is a transgender - more comfortable in the gender identity of the opposite sex.
Unlike a common myth, all men who crossdress are NOT gay.
2006-10-18 00:44:21 · answer #7 · answered by Kammi S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Possibly but perhaps he's just experimenting. Course with his Dad's reaction it won't be easy if he is.
2006-10-20 08:46:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
not really, he could just be mimicing his mother. Parents forget that all kids do is mimick their parents, and if guys are with their moms they might want to try makeup on. He could just like make up too, doesn't mean he is gay. At this age he might not know. Try and get his father more open to the idea that his son is different, because if he is and his father acts like that he might never tell anyone in fear of having someone angry at him.
2006-10-17 17:51:24 · answer #9 · answered by ifpyoyogirl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What you found on the internet, was it pornography? People who go online for pornography are sexual beings, and as sexual beings, there can be labels attached--straight or gay.
In my opinion, what I would do if I were you, would be to give him "the talk" about human sexuality and let him know that if he's gay then that's okay with you. Don't confront. Listen. He may be frightful and "tell you what you want to hear." Just listen, tell him it's okay, no matter what, that you'll always be there for him, and then let it be.
2006-10-17 18:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by zea_m 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋