how to deal with a baby that screams all the time? example; if i leave the room if she thinks I'm leaving ,

Question

the baby is 6mths .if she doesn't get her way, she more so screams at the top of her lungs . to me this behavior is dangerous neither one her parents are in her life i'm the maternal aunt but i had her since she first came home what could be the problem

Answer 1

It is common to have separation anxiety at this age. Around the time a baby learns to crawl, they also realize that they are separate beings from their loved ones. This is a scary concept for babies, and some are more sensitive to separation then others including those that are in long hours of daycare and those with drug or alcohol exposure in utero. Trust me that she is not doing it to be bad, as irritating as it is to you, she really feels scared. Playing peek a boo type games around the corner can help, as can talking to her from the other room. These things teach her Object Permanence, in other words, just because you left the room, doesn't mean you're gone. Try to be cheerful and casual about the whole thing. If you act annoyed with her, it will re-enforce her idea that something is wrong. This separation anxiety will fade around 18 months.

Answer 2

Believe it or not, this is a very common reaction in adopted babies.
I know she isn't adopted, but the same thing has happened. Her Mother is not there and trust me, she sensed it.

My husband was adopted and his mother tells me stories of him crying anytime they left from a very young age.

Did the babies mother spend any time with her at all? The longer she did, the worse this could be.

People don't realize the truly deep connection an infant has with it's mother.


There is a very good book about this.
It is called "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier.
It is about what is called "infant rage".
It is something commonly experienced by infants to adults, who were seperated from thier Mother.

The Mother is the biggie. It was her voice and her scent the baby immediately recognizes. When it was gone, the baby was trying to sense it for comfort. When she didn't find it, she panicked.
Now she relates you as her mother, when you leave, that response is triggered.
It is very deep, but she can outgrow it with time. Although, my husband still suffers a terrible fear of being abandoned. He is always a wreck if I have to leave for more than a day.

Good luck, take heart, hold that baby close and know that it will pass.
Get the book, it is very interesting.

Answer 3

I think a lot of us have dealt with this very thing in our babies, it is a stage most if not all babies go through. A lot of us wear our child around in a baby carrier so we can go about our lives almost like normal and not have to listen to our baby screaming like we've abandoned them! Peek a boo is great, my girl LOVES it.

As for saying she is spoiled at 6mths, I dont believe there is such a thing. This is a natural reaction and not a cause of you giving her lots of (needed) attention. She's not manipulating you to get her own way, she truly needs to feel loved and cared for. Dont limit this. This is a stage and she will grow out of it quickly. My girl now is really very independent at 11mths, and refuses to be held for longer than 30 seconds at a time if I'm breaking into her play time. Enjoy this stage of her life while you can, even if its hard at times.

Answer 4

It's an issue of insecurity, at a point and time the child was left alone by one parent or the other and has fear that mom or dad is not going to return. Or parent say single mom likes to run and is not home much the child has fear mom has abandoned child. A baby knows who there mom and dad are, its instinct. I believe that a child even at an early age is aware of it's surroundings and if they are being alone to fend for themselves. Even though other loved ones may take care of the child, when you leave the room or the child awakens and is alone. The child will throw a tantrum. They do outgrown this, but tell mom to spend as much time, not spoiling but loving and healthy discipline with their child and they will see changes. Good changes. Do not be intimated or frighted, just let the child know you who loves him/her.Just give it time.

Answer 5

First off, I want to commend you for caring for your niece. You have already done something good by taking her in.

A child will normally go through a stage like this. For each child, it will come at a different age. What you can do is make her feel secure. She already has missed out by not having her biological mother. And even a newborn knows her/his own mother.

It is normal behavior. I know it may sound mean... but just let her cry. Crying itself is not dangerous. As long as she is safe, she is allowed to cry. Expect your heart to drop b/c you will feel bad. She will get used to it though. And when she sees you come back, she'll know that she can count on your return.

Answer 6

We always make it a game. For example, we sing a song as we leave and take a few extra peeks into the room to show our son that we're still there.

Now at 13 months he is great with us leaving the room. We just let him know that we haven't left him for ages. If we're going somewhere he is allowed (living room, dining room, etc) we let him follow us. The latest success story is that he was playing with his toys, watched us go into the kitchen (where he's not allowed), and talked until we came back.

Answer 7

Children find out at an early age that if they scream or cry enough they will get what they want. If the child is fed, changed, etc let it scream for a few. If you continue to give in it will become a cycle that will continue until you stop giving in.

Answer 8

Play peek a boo with her so that she will realize that when you leave you will return. She is just at an age and going through a stage. She either is afraid you don't exist anymore when you leave or is trying to get you to come back by screaming and she is realizing that if she screams she gets her way.

Answer 9

well my daughter is also a screamer at 5 months and whenever i walk away she screams, I have learned that if i talk to her when i am not where she can see me it calms her down, but sometimes I just let her cry because ,she expects you to come in when she does that. Sometimes you just have let them scream for a little bit until she learns that you are coming right back.

Answer 10

she's spoiled my baby is 6 months also and does the same thing when she doesn't get her way