I am a bi guy in highschool (16) years old, and I have a boyfriend secret away from society in highschool. We ack just like friends in public, so noone might get a thought about us. But I find myself giving him eye contact forgeting we suppose to keep this relationship serious. People have noticed and rumors have spread around the whole school about me having a boyfriend and being gay. Please help me I am scared to death and dont know what to do. I think the only option is to remove myself out of thw world
2006-10-17 17:22:18 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
sorry for mistyping some words
2006-10-17 17:23:48 · update #1
where do u live?
in toronto our school board has a high school for gay students, it is called the triangle program, or maybe there is such a thing where u live
as well there is the lesbian gay youth line in canada you can call
u should not kill your self, when i came out at 16 I was kicked out and had a really tough time and thought about suicide. in fact i tried it and I hurt my family friends and my bf ...
fast forward to today, i have a great bf, a great job and a nice house ... idiots from high school .... living in a trailer park eating kraft dinner ...
there are better times ahead for you ... hang in there and get some help
2006-10-17 17:45:02 · answer #1 · answered by Allie G 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry, for your pain and the fact that kids your age can be so cruel. High school is not an easy time for anyone, and the fact that your bi and people feel the need to make fun of this just makes things harder.
I dont know what advice to give you, except to tell you to be true to yourself. High school will be over before you know it(I know now it seems like forever) An upside is that you will be away from all the bull&^%$ that goes on there, a downside is, that there are still adults out there that can act the same way
I dont know if you are able to tell your parents and have their support, but I might suggest to you you find or contact a group like PFLAG (parents and friends of gays and lesbains) maybe they can tell you of some support groups for people your age in your situation.
PLEASE do not think of suicide, I am sure you are a beautiful wonderfuk person who has so much to offer to this world. It is not worth the world losing you over a&^es that treat you that way.
PLEASE PLEASE get help talk to someone.
Your sexual orientation doesnt make you wrong or a bad person at all, it is just who you are.
if you continue to have these feelings there are also suicde help lines you can call to talk to people to get you help.
I wish you all the best!
I myself am not gay, but most of my friends are, my best friend is, my step daughter is.
if you need to chat feel free Im here for you
jchesketh@YAHOO.COM
EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FOR YOU!
2006-10-17 17:33:25 · answer #2 · answered by JoAnne H 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are still a young man, and young men don't listen very well, but as a straight man who has been though a lot of crap, I'm perfectly willing to smack you on the head. Taking yourself out of the world is not an option.
Failure is not an option.
I don't care if you're bi, gay, or a closet heterosexual. You're just dealing with stuff. Keep dealing with it. You have a tremendous amount of potential as a human, and much to give back to the world in the future.
Hang in there, dude. Courage and persistence is a primal human trait. Gay, Bi, or Hetero, we've been doing it for millions of years. Buck up and succeed. We need you here.
2006-10-17 17:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by Boomer Wisdom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Forget them sweetheart. You should learn how to fight so you can beat up anyone who makes fun of your sexuality. That worked for my friend when we were in high school and not only did people stop making fun of him, he gained a lot of respect.
That's not the only option though. Maybe you could see a therapist about this situation. Or maybe even talk to your friends and family that support you. You need to realize that there is no person on this earth that should make you take your own life. There are a lot of things you have to live for. Taking your own life away is a very selfish decision because you're not taking into consideration the feelings of your family. Or the feelings of your friends. I'm sure they would be devastated if they couldn't be in your presence anymore.
The people who make fun of you are people who don't have a life so they like to worry about others. Don't let them get to you honey. Love yourself more than anyone else.
2006-10-17 17:39:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
rumors about what.... the rumors are about who you are.. and you should not be ashamed of who you are. If you are gay, bi, whatever, then that is what you are and if some stupid little highschool kids want to make fun of you, then ignore them.. The only reason they make fun is because they are too scared to look at theirselves -- they have no idea who they are!-- and it's 10 times easier to make fun of the only kid that stands out from the rest... there are plently of support groups for gay teens.. and plently of support groups for whatever else you may think you are.. Ignore thiese immature kids, b/c in today's world, there is a place for everyone, no matter how "odd" people might seem to "normal" society, in todays world, they can find their place.. you should be glad that you know what you are at such a young age! please talk to someone!
also, after high school you will never see these people again unless you want to.. you can change highschools too if its that bad!
2006-10-17 17:29:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
See if your parents can remove you from that school.
Your better off getting out of that environment but ending it all is not the right solution.
You may want to see your guidance counselor.
If your parent's don't already suspect and know tell them you are being bullied at school and are scared for your safety and would prefer to go elsewhere to school if there are options.
If you make it through school the world gets easier. High school teasing is so trivial and it won't be that way once you graduate and head into the world.
2006-10-17 21:38:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep reminding yourself it's only high school. I'm sure that's one of the scarier places to come out, but you're going to have to do it eventually. High school might not be the best place. But really, just ignore the rumors and don't take any sh-- from people. Own up to who your are, or keep with the charade. Know it seems like an eternity until graduation, but it'll be over before you know.
As always, it might be a good idea to seek professional counselling. They're non-judgemental, because that's what they're paid for, and it might help you to talk about it with someone outside.
Suicide's not really going to help you though.
2006-10-17 17:29:14 · answer #7 · answered by answersBeta2.1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No! Please dont committ such an act! Believe me, I was in this exact situation two years ago. Rumors, gossip, people, they all pointed fingers at me and called me names because I was going out with my ex-bf. It's hard, emotional, tough, but we all have the endurance and courage to go forward! If this is sometihng that talking to you closest friends cannot help, talk to your school counselor. By law, they cant tell anything to your parents. So it's confidential. Please, dont committ suicide. It's not the answer. My cousin of 21 committed suicide because he was gay, and my family so regrets rejected him. I personally accepted him. Plus, be happy for WHO you are! I am happy that I'm bi and have friends that know and accept me. I'm in the Gay-Straight-Alliance Club, and if such acts were forbidden where you live, keep your chin up!!! Things will get better, just have a little faith!
2006-10-17 20:47:19 · answer #8 · answered by Daniel R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some great advice already. Please, if you need help, then talk with one of the people on this board and ask to see your h.s. guidance counselor if the pain becomes unbearable in school sometimes. I know how hard it can get, but trust me, it will pass.
If you find you can no longer stay at that h.s., please transfer and graduate at the nearest other h.s. through the school of choice program. That's what I did. I was bashed in h.s. and was too ashamed to go back; so, I transfered to the next town over, though I had to walk 2 miles one way to the bus stop.
If you can't transfer then please just know that you're life is and will be great and unlimited in potential, and that there are members of your local lgbt community who will come to care for you as friends and family even if you don't know it yet. Our local coffee shoppe had a teen lgbt night, find someplace like that, try pflag too.
If there is a local university nearby, find out if they have an lgbt centre, talk with one of their volunteers.
Everything will be okay.
2006-10-17 18:43:11 · answer #9 · answered by zea_m 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no real advice to give you but to generalize your future. At 16 we want to do so much, be so many things, dress in so many fashions, and live according to standards...to a point some must.
Suicide has crossed my mind more than once as I suffered the normal gay bashing, and name calling from grades Pre-9th here in North Carolina (Bible-Racial Belt Central.) I then realized that the ones who ridiculed me dropped, landed a lesser career than myself, are in jail, or now act as though we really know each other. I was born with talent, and soaked myself in them in order to find myself, like some people smoke, drink or do the recreational items.
It’s scary, and will be for some time that’s why many gay/bi/transgender people create a facade in order to mask the horrible life in which they live. I lived this fake life up until 2 years after high school, and then I realized that I didn't love myself because of this, because I wasn't being myself. (I'm now 24)
Many days/nights you will create this life that isn't real.
I don't suggest that you paint on some fake smile or throw your nose in the air, become super macho or super feminine. I only lend this: Its hard to stop the glances because of the sexual tension inside of you, but if your school isn't Pro-homosexuality I would paint a light facade remembering who you are at all times until you are able to gain inner confidence, and physical strength within....just a note from me to you
2006-10-17 18:12:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋