I am fed up with my abusive husband(mainly verbal and mental but has been physical years ago). Even though I'm scared *** hell I am planning to divorce him as soon as I can. My kids and I will move in with my mom until I feel ready to have a place of my own. My problem is that we haven't had sex in about a month and he is getting tired of my excuses. To make it even worse I really want to have sex because I need it too and I don't want to cheat. I think that if we have sex he will go back to thinking that I'm ok and that I want to stay with him and put up with his bullshit. I sometimes find it hard to separate my emotions from sex. I don't want to fall into the trap of thinking things could be better because the sex is really the only good thing between us. I think that is why we are still together to this day. I wonder if it's wrong to have sex with him while I'm here even though I'm going to leave him?
2006-10-17 17:11:29 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
girl you needs to make up your mind to leave if he is abusive as you say ,then leave for the sake of the kids but if you chooses to stay then talk to him about how you are feeling. sex is not everything, when you are not happy .
2006-10-17 17:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by fatmamamiraclegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am also in the process of filing for divorce from an alcoholic. Get involved in Al-anon and get some counselling. Alcoholics blame everything on everyone else, and do not own anything that they have done. They do not feel quilty - till they are sober -but then they hurry up and get drunk again- so that they don't have any personal hurt. My husband and I have played these back and forths long enough, and so have you, don't take his calls or emails. All it does it upset you. It is sooooo Not worth it. He needs to own his behavior - and if he doesn't - then you do not need to communicate with him. Good luck honey, you are not the only one going down this path... you just need to remove your self from his little games - I finally have, and though it hurts, since we were best friends and yes the sex was amazing - it just isn't worth the mind games. God bless you and good luck. T-
2016-03-28 13:57:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your kicks with him as far as you can handle it. And I don't mean crying through the whole thing. You deserve the best and you know it, it's how to get the best that is the problem. Reach out to shelters and internet sites to find out how to handle problems as they arise. I did, but i also got the hell out of town so he couldn't harass me either. Abuse is abuse that is abuse, it's just a matter of time till you break. Whether it's breaking free or breaking stuff along the way of a fight. Good luck and seek help from counselors and such. They are a great help. Just trust in someone! My prayers will be with you sweetie!
2006-10-17 17:31:37 · answer #3 · answered by clover_t21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest leaving him right away but if that's not possible, don't have sex with him that will just complicate things and you could come up pregnant and by the way it sounds that's the last thing you need.
2006-10-17 17:17:30 · answer #4 · answered by steffi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not wait---call a local women's shelter and remove yourself and children from that situation. Just tell him you are ill and leave it at that--move on and make your life happy. Why you are allowing this to happen to yourself and children is beyond me...shelters receive thousands in donations and are willing to help in situations such as yours. If he is physically abusive to you--CALL THE POLICE. The fact is your divorce isn't going to be a secret for long--you will have to face him. Good luck in your "new" life--it will be better!
2006-10-17 17:19:22 · answer #5 · answered by MicG 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I applaude you for getting out ..more women should do what you are doing..keep your secret and do not let him know your plans ..its ok to have sex with him but just do not forget to keep this promise that you made to yourself........women are great we are natural born actresses give it all you got that night and then sock it to his sorry *** god bless you for standing up for yourself,,sureilll
2006-10-17 17:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong. If anything, he will think everything is ok. I'd find a different place to go though. He will find you at moms.
2006-10-17 17:19:42 · answer #7 · answered by dww32720 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right about him thinking that you are fine and continue his abuse. So just stop and get out asap. Listen to your heart not your hormones.
Enough is Enough
2006-10-17 17:19:00 · answer #8 · answered by Just Loving It. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave...if you put you and your kids in danger your just being a bad parent. You could try putting exlax in his drink and food
2006-10-17 17:18:15 · answer #9 · answered by X M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just get out. After you have been out go out and have a good time you deserve it. And hopefully he rots.
2006-10-17 17:15:31 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋