I have had a friend since we were teens, we are now in our 30's, he, his girlfriend and me and my husband have been friends for 14 years.Now they are telling people bad things about me and don't want to hang out. I haven't changed from what I can tell. Now my husband says it is all my fault because they don't like me.they have done this to other friends of theirs before, it's like they always want something new, the grass is always greener thing. We have other friends, I'm not lonely and my husband doesn't have time for people anyway. What are some thoughts as to what could be going on?It seems like such a long friendship to throw away.I am trying not to beat myself up over them because I know they have done it before, but it does hurt. We helped them out a lot over the years. They say I make them feel stupid, how do you MAKE someone feel stupid? could it be they have low self esteem and want low life friends to make them feel better about themselves?
2006-10-17 17:10:54 · 12 answers · asked by mati 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Time for you and hubby to move on. If you can't work it out with them then there is absolutely nothing you can do. If you have talked to them and you're at a stale mate, don't waste precious energy on people that bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself. Life's too short for you to worry about things they are saying about you. Most people don't believe that kind of crap anyway.
2006-10-17 17:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know its hard to know what other people are thinking. I my self have gone down that road, and understand that its hard to just walk away from someone that you love and care for. Your friends must have so many friends that they have some to just throw away. Dont let there mistake bother to much. You sound like someone with there feet on the ground and know the diff. between top shelf and crap.Plus maybe the reason they feel stupid is because they already knew they were going to do something stupid and blamed it on you.
Good luck
2006-10-17 17:18:52 · answer #2 · answered by bree1547 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are the things they are saying true or outlandish? Changes in our life can be subtle sometimes and we change without knowing it. I'm not saying this is you, by any means. You just have to take a step back and look at it objectively. Don't automatically think it's them, but then don't beat yourself up(like you said). This is not something that someone can give you a correct answer on here.
---Just take a step back, look at it objectively, and try to reconcile any differences as best as you can, whether it's changing your behavior or attempting to accomodate their feelings.
2006-10-17 17:19:13 · answer #3 · answered by Nep 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
girl, dont beat yourself up over friends that is acting like an *** .[excuse my french] but the way i see it ,you didnt need them no way ,they are not your friends , so i have read in the bible where it says that to have friends you most make yourself friendly. go on and find new friends i mean true friends that will be there for you. and jesus ,i do know is a true friend indeed. he will stick closer to you then a brother. when you are lonely , he will comfort you, when you needs someone to talk to ,he is there.he is a friend he wont share your deepest secrets with no one.
2006-10-17 17:23:27 · answer #4 · answered by fatmamamiraclegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do stuff with the other friends. Don;t say anything bad about them, eventually people will figure out what they're about. Living well is the best revenge
2006-10-17 17:24:21 · answer #5 · answered by Foss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them how do you many them feel stupid. Maybe you did something that you didnt notice. You are right that you have been friends for years so just ask them... Look at their point of view.
2006-10-17 17:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by Just Loving It. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They dont sound like good friends.They sound jealous because maybe there life might be all screwd up. Also your husband should not even blame you it is not your fault at all!
2006-10-17 18:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by lizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lack of self-esteem would explain why they would do that to you and everyone else. try not to focus on that. they're trying to lower your self-esteem. take pride in the fact that you are not like that, and walk away with a well deserved grin (and pat on the back)!!
2006-10-17 17:15:53 · answer #8 · answered by Karen M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to them about it and if they dont want to lisent then are arent your real friend and if they did this to your old friends see what they thought about it when it happend to them and ask them question about things they did to you that they did to them hope this help you :)
2006-10-17 17:15:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People change. I'm sure you've changed as well. Find new friends that suit you for who you are today.
2006-10-17 17:16:58 · answer #10 · answered by EJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋