I am a 39 single father of a 13m & 15f year old. I am engaged to a wonderful lady with a 5m, 11f & 12m. My mother has become an issue of being controlling and wanting me to be with just my children more. I am trying to be fair to all and balance my time with all. My mother called my fiancee and left a rude message, that has created stress between everyone.
2006-10-17 16:38:22 · 9 answers · asked by fasmith32 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks to all who have answered. Some more details. My mom hasn't been asked to watch my fiancee's kids. She doesn't want me w/anyone. I have my kids 24/7. My ex had them everyother weekend & 6 months ago kicked them out, hasn't seen nor talked to them since. I have taken them to counseling and helped them through alot. They're both pulling A & B's in school and spend time with friends and with me and everyone as a group. granted most of the time we spend time w/fiancee and her children, but they all get along well and since we plan on getting married someday that is they way it would be. I have told my mother how I feel and even had my parents join me in a counseling session at church. All she could do was slam me to the counselor and threaten to take the kids away & claim that she has raised them. I gave up everything I owned to take care of them and started over. They'd rather be w/me than anyone and they enjoy their time w/friends more knowing I am doing something with fiancee.
2006-10-17 17:21:25 · update #1
Should I cut mom out of the picture completely for a while?
2006-10-17 17:23:07 · update #2
You need to have a one-on-one with your mother and let her know that this new woman is going to be in your life no matter what AND her kids are part of the picture. If she isn't going to behave civilly, then you won't allow her in your life. That's it. Put your foot down. It's your life. Your family.
2006-10-17 16:42:46 · answer #1 · answered by chnchita 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your mother is probably just concerned for your welfare and the welfare of your children. If you are sure that the relationship you are having with this new woman is what's best then reassure your mother of this. Let her know that no matter what she does that you are still going to marry this woman and have a life with her and her kids. Let her know that you appriciate her concern but her behavior will only come between you and you hope she won't allow this to happen.
I am sure she is just concerned. Mother's have a tendency to go overboard when they are worried for the ones they love.
2006-10-17 23:56:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have to respect your mother, and her 2 grandchildren.
the other woman has 3 kids, u can't expect ur mother to adopt nor babysit nor anything she does not want to do. Remember, she raised her family.
U do not know for sure why she left that message, is it her usual thoughts or did someone call and provoke her.
Most of the time when a guy is single with children, it is because of control, and who can win, where is the x-wife--u did not want to pay child support for a couple of years----or she had a
boyfriend after divorce and u wanted her to marrry right away!
Alert to anyone with this situation------I went thru it--
A guy who has "mother" problems is not normally a true man.
A guy who ends up with kids may still be into porn...........etc....he is just good at war tactics..........stay away.
2006-10-17 23:51:12 · answer #3 · answered by kay w 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're 39 and an adult. Although I would generally agree with your mother that you should focus on being a parent, I think what she did was completely uncalled for. I would tell her not to interfere with your decisions and you do what you feel is right with her. The only opinions you really need to be concerned about are your kids.
2006-10-17 23:43:09 · answer #4 · answered by EJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mom needs to mind her own bussiness you are a grown man and you have your own life ..she needs to be told by you now so you can get on with your life....you are taking on 5 children and she should be so proud of you have 13mt old and 15yr old just that alone i would be so proud of you and now you have met a nice lady and are willing to give her children a home with love and stability I applaude you sir and i wish you all the happiness to all god bless you sureilll
2006-10-17 23:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time for mommy to butt out. Please talk with her and let her know her behavior was out of line and that she should not try to come between you and your fiancee.
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. It is hard enough raising children as a single parent without grandparents trying to control the situation.
2006-10-17 23:53:41 · answer #6 · answered by Stef 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What this world needs is more fathers like you. Sad to say, your mother has issues and it seems to not be in your best interest to endure this anymore. You cannot change her but hopefully she will come to realize she way over stepped her boundaries with you and she needs to back off or risk losing her son. Sometimes when parents lose their children, they have no one to blame but themselves.
2006-10-18 01:03:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur mom even when she feels this way she shouldnt say any of this because this is ur life and ur family is going to get bigger and u have to split ur time between all of them, no matter what. ur mom is wrong. im sorry but dont listen to her....
2006-10-18 00:07:19 · answer #8 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go take a look at http://parenting.hammocksurvivalguide.com/
There's lots of good advice on there about parenting.
2006-10-18 10:07:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋