My wife's ex-bf won't leave us alone because she left him, then later when she met me she fell in love and hasn't looked back since. How should I go about explaining to him that no matter what he does she's not leaving me. He abused her mentally, and physically I believe. He says he's mainly upset because she left him for a girl. Would he actually feel better if she had left him for a man with a bigger dick?
2006-10-17 16:31:43 · 12 answers · asked by ? 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Stop communicating with him. Don't call him or answer his calls. Don't email or answer his emails. Get a restraining order if you have to.
This is an abuser who won't leave your family alone. Does he have to hurt someone before you understand how dangerous this is?
2006-10-17 16:36:52 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
haha, no he most certianly would not feel better if she had left him for a different man with a bigger dick.
Believe me, I asked someone that once.
Anyway. Theres no real way to get rid of the ex by force... Ive been with my girl for nearly two years, for the first year, I dealt with her ex jumping in and out of our relationship whenever she felt it to be a good idea. Not fun. If I could go back, I dont know if I would have went through it all again... it took a lot out of who I am, and put a big dent in the relationship. The best thing you can really do is just ignore him, she obviously loves you if she is your wife, she hasnt looked back since, and if she shows no sign of feeling anything for him... it will blow over... just as most things, it will probably take some time.
Hes just jealous, because she left him... and he probably was the proud owner of one of those ego's that for some unforsaken reason thought he was the best at everything... and well, obviously he was sadly, very sadly mistaken...
2006-10-17 23:49:58 · answer #2 · answered by llsoinlovell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is something that she has to handle. You can talk till you are blue in the face but he will not listen to a word you have to say, and he is frustrated b/c you are not a dude and he can't get physical with you.
She has to assert her authority and be straight with him. All you can really do is be there for her. Besides it will work out so much better for you as a support system or shoulder to cry on than a stress point. He will go away eventually. Think about it like this, you love her, would you let go so easy? Probably not.
2006-10-17 17:28:01 · answer #3 · answered by crystlizm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that! My girl left her guy for me, and her ex wouldn't stop pestering us for months. He would even call my girl's mom to talk to her about our newfound relationship. It's a good thing, though, that my girl had already told her mom about us at that time. Her mom told the guy to leave us alone because my girl did make the right choice. Her mom never liked the guy to begin with. And, even after that, her ex still kept bugging us. So, we confronted him. We had a drinking session together, and my girl explained to him why she left him in the first place. I remained silent throughout their talk. But I brought my stun gun, just in case he'd go berserk on us. In your case, your girl's ex is quite violent. Maybe you should get a restraining order or something, should things get rough. But the best thing you can do now is just to avoid him. Your girl should also be doubly careful around the ex. He might end up stalking her. That's what my girl's ex did for a few months. Best of luck!
2006-10-17 16:41:42 · answer #4 · answered by - iceman - 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there-my g/f left her husband of 13 years for me-It hurt his pride big time- i was called everything in the book and then some.Told me i took his family from him he was and still is a jerk.I didn't take his woman she came to me-he couldn't get pass as to why she come to me-he couldn't see he was a alcoholic,cussed at her,hit her and always mistreated her. The kids are the ones i feel sorry for cause they do love him,but he did it to himself,we have been together for 4 years now,he's finally moved in with a woman on the other side of the united stated but won't work is sorry!!!!
Anyway-just hang in there-it will get better.But girl you have got to be strong cause he will try everything he can think of to get her back-if you two are inlove you have nothing to worry about,she will follow her heart like my g/f has.!!!! It's really hell going through something like this and until you have been there nobody can understand~~~Best of luck to you both!!!!
2006-10-17 16:57:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it bothers you that plenty, then call her mom and discover out what got here approximately. seems such as you opt for a sprint closure with regard to the priority. First, i'm happy you have moved on, because of the fact she would not sound like somebody you're able to desire to be with besides. I understand your concern, yet on the comparable time, whilst a dogs you like has bitten you and others, what do you do?
2016-11-23 16:59:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
RomanticStudsband,
If he was ever violent or abusive in any way, RESTRAINING ORDER TIME!!!!!!!!
Number One: you are dealing with a guy that had his ego split in two.
Number Two: If you let him in the house you are crazy.
Number Three: She is your territory now, you have to protect it.
Number Four: As soon as he is removed from the scene, you should start to relax with eachother more.
Number Five: Be at peace. Life does not have to be a endless string of conflicts. Cut the cord yourself if you have to and live in peace.
2006-10-17 16:40:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you guys should move somewhere far away from hi m so you can start your lives free of problems from him.If he is that abusive she needs to take a restraining order because they usually always do something to get back at you so my advice is to move somewhere he wont go and live your lives together.
2006-10-20 07:58:18 · answer #8 · answered by mamacitac9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U SHOULD NOT DO OR SAY ANYTHING 2 HIM BECAUSE HE MAY FEEL LIKE U R PUTTING HER UP TO DOING THIS AND THAT SHE CAN NOT THINK 4 HERSELF.(HIS THOUGHTS).LET HER TELL HIM THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT HIM IT WILL STILL HURT BUT HE WILL B ABLE 2 EXCEPT IT COMING FROM HER BECAUSE COMING FROM U MEANS NOTHING BECAUSE HE WAS NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH U!!!!!!!!!!U HAVE HER AND KNOW THAT SHE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH HER USING HER OWN MOUTH 2 SAY THAT 2 HIM?
2006-10-18 05:26:11 · answer #9 · answered by LADONNA W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess I have another been there done that story. It is not your job to fix how he feels about it.. The bottom line is he needs to respect her current relationship with you. If this is hard for him to do then you need to talk to you girlfriend and set boundaries. A) he is no longer allowed to call or stop by B) he needs to keep his distance C) He needs to move on with his life.... If and only if your girlfriend would like your relationship to survive you need to set boundaries and follow through with them.. His relationship didn’t work with her and that is what he needs to deal with. If she is truly ready to move on in her life to a new healthy loving relationship she should be more than willing to set boundaries.... Other wise her consequences will be damaging your new relationship.... It painful and she needs to stand up and stop the abuse... Please show her this.. My lady and I just went through it and its has stopped, because we decided enough was a enough and we needed to put energy on us... Then he gave up...
My girls ex use to just stop by, let himself in the house through a unlocked door and grab a beer and read the paper.. Then I moved in and she would tell him not to come over anymore and he was like what are you going to do about it. Now I have caught him many times and confronted him and poured out his beer, which was mine. and showed him the door.. Then I moved in, he knows he has no chance now..
2006-10-18 10:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋