Oops!I didnt know that this question has arisen many times...so this has been experienced by many people...I want to know how and why it happens how can your heart ache for the person you hate, who claims that he loves you..but does not understand you...and does not hesitate to hit you in anger...
Is it love...Infatuation ..obsession..what?????
2006-10-17 16:23:17 · 16 answers · asked by suhani 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have broken up with him but can't over it....he was very caring most of the times...I know he can't live without me...I know he must be drinking and smoking right now to drive away his depression...and no one to care for him.....I don't want him to drink and smoke just cuz I walked out...
2006-10-17 17:02:10 · update #1
Its abuse.
2006-10-17 16:25:52 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can love and hate someone at the same time....it's called marriage and those veterans out there will know exactly what I'm talking about.
Chances are, you are a young one yet and honey, this is normal. However, you said something that really disturbed me about hitting you in anger. And that I'm afraid is a bigger issue that you need to deal with. This relationship is destructive and if you have such hostile feelings that hit both ends of the spectrum, then it's probably not a good idea to stay in this relationship. People who TRULY love each other, do not hurt each other.
I think this sounds more like an obsession than it does a relationship. I know it may not be the answer you are seeking, but sometimes drama in a relationship can become as addicting as drugs. Without the chaos, people are lost because it's been the "norm" for them. Sort of like a bad habit...and since we are human, we conform to our bad habits like white does to rice. If you want to test yourself. Go through tomorrow not thinking about this person. If tha'ts too long, try it for half the day. Find something else to do to keep your mind off of him/her. Each day make that time frame a little longer. If you can get through those days without any problems, your situation leans more towards love. If you can't...it leans more towards obsession with a hint of addiction, which is a really bad combination.
I hope this helps straighten a few things out!
2006-10-17 16:34:14 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THERE is a thin line between love and hate meaning you can love some one sooomuch and know that this kind of love only happens once in a lifetime but if this love should turn on you in such an abusive way thats when the hate will surface,,infatuation is a temporary feeling and it usually goes away...obsession can be dangerous because this person"s mind is always on the one he obsesses about ..he becomes dilussional. and out of touch with reality...your problem is that he loves but you let him hit you ..what the hell is wrong with you ...you are a sorry idividual...to let a man hit you..sureilll
2006-10-17 16:41:49 · answer #3 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are experiencing is love for the person but hate for his actions. Your life is at stake here. Of course you can't shut off feelings of love for him but you must walk away. It will be painful in other ways, your heart will ache but you will be making the wisest choice you can make. Let's think about this for a moment too - can the feeling you have for this man really be love if you cannot love yourself enough to save your own life? Maybe you are just comfortable with him, maybe you've accepted the abuse as your lot in life, maybe you've devoted so many years you will look at yourself as a wasted life to walk away or maybe you really do love him. Regardless of the answer to that question your only real choice is to walk away. Find the strength. Call on God. He will give you the strength to do it. And keep calling on Him to guide you to the man who is out there just for you who will love you and treat you the way God intended for him to treat you - like a lady and with respect and REAL LOVE.
Praying for you to be strong & make the right choices!
2006-10-17 16:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know girl, i went thru it. I believe your hatred is because of the anger and betrayal you felt against him for hitting you. On the other hand, you love him when he's not abusive.. Right? Well, my advice - don't stick around any longer. You'll regret it. I did. There's some guy out there who can truly love you with every sense of the word, and would never dream of hurting you ever. Ask this question yourself - would you bear to hit or abuse someone you love?
2006-10-17 16:33:23 · answer #5 · answered by firaisah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it never happened to me (at least not that I´m aware of), but I think that maybe you do so because you admire this person and wish you had their qualities. My guess. With me what happens is that I´d love the person and if the person breaks my heart I just avoid them. At first I get angry (depending on what happened) but then I´d only not appreciate their company anymore, it´s just not pleasant anymore to me, or then it´s just because it makes me so sad to remember. Or maybe because I see the person hasn´t change and won´t (so soon), and maybe I´m also a little bit affraid that I´ll get hurt again. So I just keep a distance.
2016-03-28 13:55:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's something you DON'T need. You hate cause he hurts. You love because he can love. Not a good thing to have the both together. That is what you call an abusive relationship.
2006-10-17 16:28:42 · answer #7 · answered by Justwondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can love and hate the same person at the same time. In other words you love the person you just hate some of the things they do. If you hate to many things they do the relationship suffers.
2006-10-17 16:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am I to understand this correctly? Because if I'm in error then please ignore what I have to say henceforth.
You love a man.
Man doesn't "understand you". Whatever the hell that means.
Man physically strikes you.
Then sobs and say he loves you.
But to drive this point home, he strikes you again.
However, emotion overwhelms him as you cower..and as you cry and say that you love him.
He says he loves you too. Slapping you across the face to express his true feelings for you.
You ask...is it infatuation, love or obsession?
Look up masochist. Its you darling. I'll look for your obituary. At least you'll be out of your misery....I think.
2006-10-17 16:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love and hatred are sisters...maybe it is just a passion. I am familiar with these emotions. Man and woman are such contradictory creatures...the best way to be happy is just to make it up with him in bed. A man will never understand you perfectly, give up any hopes....it is just impossible. Such is life.
2006-10-17 16:34:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hits you ..it is time to move on !! Don't ask questions ...violence is unacceptable. I am not sure what you see in him or why you stay and deal with it? You are a good person get your self respect back and leave him!!
~Good Luck~
2006-10-17 16:38:16 · answer #11 · answered by vtlovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋