how do you raise a lil girl to have good self esteem?

Question

my daughter is 3 months old and my husband and I want to raise her to have good self esteem, but i don't want her to be cocky or shall we say full of herself. i want her to know she is beautiful, but not to think she is above anyone else. please help, thank you.

Answer 1

Tell her she's no worse than anyone else- and no better than anyone else. Tell her she is smart when a believable example comes along. Also say things like "that makes my day" when she does something good.

Answer 2

What a good question!
I think my answer is: If you a have a good self esteem your daughter will have one as well. I remeber my mother was a very lovely and caring person but she was always complaining about how flat her chest was, or how skinny her legs were. To me, she was the most beautiful women on heart and I could simply not understand, so then I started thinking "damn, if she is ugly, probably I am uglier", Let's not make the story long: love yourself and always show your daughter how happy you are, how beautiful you are (same goes for the dad) and your daughter will grow up with a cute little beautiful mind and soul.

Answer 3

Please don't make the mistake my mother made of being afraid that her little girl would get spoiled if she was praised at all. I don't think you can do that. The result was a big girl with low self esteem. You will do fine if you let your daughter know how much you love her, that she is beautiful and wonderful, and smart and whatever else. It is more likely that someone with poor self esteem would act cocky to cover up how they really feel.

Answer 4

TELL her the values you want her to have.
SHOW her the beauty and accomplishments and kindness of other people.
TREAT her in a way that makes her know how valued and special she is.
BE an example for her.

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When I was expecting my third child I had two sons. They were adorable, and I would have been delighted to have a third son; and I was so used to being the mother of sons I almost couldn't picture having a daughter. My beautiful little baby girl was born, and one of the first things I did in the hospital was make sure I "hoarded" some of the pink blankets from the cart because I wanted my baby girl to have pink blankets right from the beginning.

When I was home I realized that although I home was nice and had some "happy" things around that could be for either boys or girls, I didn't really have much around that made it look like a home where a little girl lived. I realized that I believed that my little boys and little girl were all humans, but my daughter had that extra element of her femininity to be considered. I added some very feminine things around the house and vowed to make sure my little girl would have a lot of "gifty" kinds of things (not toys, not clothes, and not otherwise functional - just special little things like crystal ballet slippers on the wall or a tiny china tea set or special gift shop doll). I wanted her to be a "person" but also to like her femininity and to see that femininity has some elegance that can come with it.

Her baseball cap was pink, and I made sure she had plenty of really elegant little dresses to help her feel feminine. I don't mean to imply either that I didn't nurture the boys' masculinity or else that I only nurtured her femininity. Its just that after I had my daughter I realized I was faced with trying to teach her how to be a girl and a woman while also being feminine; because I've always believed that real feminism is not about being a "fake boy" but of being a whole person who also enjoys her natural elegance.

Of course, I also made sure she had a well-rounded blend of activities because I wanted to nurture well-rounded skills. (When I had her tested for starting school she came out with strong "across-the-board" skills, so I was pleased that had turned out well.)

I think its also, though, the role of the mother to help her child look as attractive as she can. Most children are cute or else pretty. Many times, though, mothers don't help them play that up. As a result, the child doesn't feel (and sometimes doesn't look) as pretty as other little girls and her self-esteem suffers. They need to learn when they're really little about clothes that make people see them a certain way or hair-styles that can make them feel really pretty.

My "baby" is now 21. She has - since the day I hoarded all those pink blankets from the hospital cart - been a nice girl who would do well in school and have a lot of friends and who has always been loved by some many people, and who has a nice balance of good self-esteem without an inappropriate ego or lack of perspective.

I don't think you have to worry about the child who feels valued and special but who is also told what values are right. Some parents tell their child how special they are but treat them as if they aren't. Others tell them what they should do or be but aren't good examples. I think if you just love her, treat her as if she's special and valued, talk about values, and be a good example then 21 years from now you'll be able to look at your beautiful daughter and think, "I did good."

Answer 5

Girls gain self esteem by having goals and accomplishing them.....like playing sports......swimming, ice skating or whatever. Keep her busy and interested in other things besides being popular and pretty. No cheer leading! Also getting good grades in school helps. Teach her to cook and do things other kids may not know how to do. People are always amazed when other people are educated and can do things others can not. Playing an instrument is also great. But don't wear her out with too many activities.

Answer 6

You are fretting too early. Other than the internal constitution of the body, personality development depends on the environment kids are brought up in . as long as she is well fed and well looked after and can see love in your eyes, feel your love and support, she will be fine. telling kids that they are special to you works wonders. the cocky behavior u r talking about, you need not worry right now, coz if you pay close attention to her growing up you will see the change and stop a particular habbit then and there if it is bothering. no ones born with cocky attitude.

I m sure she will turn out to be adorable one since you are really concened and you know what you want. but make sure this attention and interest continues. And as far as possible monitor her development personally.

Answer 7

In order for your daughter to have a good self esteem, both you and your husband need to have a good self esteem.

Perhaps you can buy some books on raising a child or books about building self esteem.

Answer 8

I wanted the same for my daughter and sons ..everyday from birth or before it really : )....I told them I loved them and they were wanted and smart and beautiful and that they could do and become anything they wanted. I have wonderful children and their esteem is better than mine ten fold!! My youngest , my daughter graduates high school this coming spring she is going to college to be a nurse and she is doing it all on her own as I am poor. She is getting scholarships and loans!!
~You can make it happen and she will know she too is perfect~

Answer 9

First, pray together about this for some time,maybe one month.However, your prayers must be the same time EACH day. Next, the balance of true beauty comes from a combination of two things. No matter if dressed for bed or dressed for church, a father constantly pointing out her physical beauty. And her mother, and remember use the word beautiful both of you, however, the beauty on the inside. Whether she says she wants to save the sick puppy or actually does save the sick puppies.

Answer 10

these days, you don't have to do anything at all for your daughter to grow up with not only high self-esteem, but to be so vain and self-centered that she will never have a problem with esteem. it's commonly documented that young females today have a self-opinion several magnitudes higher than young females of earlier generations.

now, if you had a young *son*, you might have something to worry about.

Answer 11

Let her know that there is no such a thing as 'ugly' in the world. All of us were made perfectly in the image of God. Strike a balance between affirming her and teaching her not to tease other kids/people. True beauty is on the inside.