For example, if I give my husband a hug, he thinks I am asking for sex. Also, if I give him a simple kiss, he thinks I am teasing him into sex. I am at the point where I think twice before showing any affection in order to avoid sending the wrong message. Why can't men understand that sometimes we only want affection without having to go all the way into sex?
2006-10-17 16:19:16 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, they evolved this way. The sexually aggressive male fathered the most offspring. The male who could get it up and have an orgasm the fastest lived to do that again and again. (A male with an erection is vulnerable prey. If you think of all of this in evolutionary terms, it all makes absolute perfect sense.) We are those decendants. Males who were not this way, fathered fewer offspring. It has been only in the last several thousand years that true lovers evolved -- men who worry about their mate's pleasure rather than their own. If you wish just those loving hugs, carresses, and lots of foreplay, you gotta tell him to shift his priorities. Few guys can figure this out themselves. If you can't ask, and don't express your wishes, you won't get.
2006-10-17 16:26:23 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW - you have the same problem that most people have. Be glad it is you that he wants to be with. Try doing other things to show your affection, like making coffee for him in the morning or just giving a nice smile and say I sure love and appreciate you. non contact type of praises. Also plan in your mind to do something (like go to a movie) and try this. Tell him that you need a hug (honey I really need a hug from you right now). Then thank him and tell him that you love the fact you can get a hug when you need it and then say HEY you want to go see a movie and start a conversation about something else.
On the simple kiss part, why not wait until your in public and then give him the simple kiss and say how much you appreciate him. In public he might not be so out to think that your wanting more. If you do that enough maybe he will learn from your actions that it is okay to show affection without going to far.
Verbal praise and affection might be what he needs more, he himself might just think that he has a duty to provide.
If you ever have a conversation on talking about it, make sure you are very very careful how you word things.
2006-10-17 16:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well baby, here's the problem:
1. We pee with the same thing we have sex with.
2. It moves around when we walk
3. There are so many areas of a woman that we like - boobs, mouth, butt, front lower area, legs, neck, ears, navel, etc...
4. Sometimes we work in places where there are hot women around and we get all worked up by the end of the day.
5. TV commercials and TV shows are filled with hotties.
6. Sometimes men in a shop / industrial environment will brag whether or not they had sex the night before with their women. "Did ya get any last night?"
7. Many, many more reasons!
2006-10-17 16:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by Fun and Games 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are not very affectionate toward him.
If you give him affection all the time he wouldn't mix it up with sex, but since you don't he's connected affection with sex.
Sounds like you need to re-train him.
Give him some sex and then give him tons of affection. Then in a few days sex then again give him the affection. Do this a few times and he will learn sex is sex and affection is affection.
2006-10-17 16:41:34 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't women know that cuddling is like cooking a good meal than not eating it? As a wife you should be glad it's you who are driving us sex crazy and not the woman down the street. How would you like it, if we took you to a jewelry store and than not buy anything? Okay we admit you have the power, now stop teasing us.
*P.S: You should worry when you can't get him excited, slam that sexual door on him to many times and it might happen that you don't turn him on anymore.
2006-10-17 16:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex was the same way. Fortunately my current is not.
I don't know why they are that way but my guess is they have never felt love before and have no idea of ways to express it other than through sex.
I gather this from knowing my ex's family history and the type of women he dated before me. His current wife has never mentioned that before as she has mentioned other things to me. She was able to get him into therapy for his insecurities and depression and evidentally it has changed him for the better so maybe it helped him in that area as well. Don't know... he is still an *** to me but I don't care.
Anyway... I hope you can get to the bottom of it.
2006-10-17 16:50:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his hormones talking! Just try to enjoy him when he gets older he will slow down! Tell him how you feel that you need cuddling as well as sex. He may not know that a woman loves to cuddle! Ask him to cuddle and hold you after sex! Talk to him after all he is your husband! Good luck-tell him you need to hold on to him like he is your teddy bear! He may not realize that a woman just sleeps better if she is holding him or he is cuddling her! Tell him he is your comfort as well as your sex partner! I know if I ever found the right man old enough to understand this as well as young enough to enjoy life and love I would sleep better! Sweet dreams!
2006-10-17 16:32:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's called perpetuation of the species? The reason we are all here? And by the way, what do you mean "send" "signals" to your HUSBAND? It's not like he is a guy in the office, do you two ever communicate? Just tell the idiot.
2006-10-17 16:21:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
because women like you want affection without sex
2006-10-17 16:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by blue_eyed_southernman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes we think with our small head but some can learn ----- tell him let him know you want more affection --- tell him it will improve the sex (it probably will) even --- especially -- if there is more affection without sex
2006-10-17 16:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋