My husband and i have been married for almost 2 years and everything is great. The only thing is he sometimes looks at porn, I use to think it was fine when we dated but know i don't like it. He doesn't look at porn alot, but i still find myself feeling jealous. I talked to him about it and he says it's just a habit b/c he's been doing it for so long. Am i overreacting? (serious answers please)
2006-10-17 16:04:13 · 20 answers · asked by daddys_girl319 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i dont think its bad b/c its just going to boost up you guy's sex life....dont be jealous....
2006-10-17 16:10:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Overreacting for sure. Lots of men look at porn and some actually make time for it daily. I'm not saying that its a good thing but its not the end of the world. If you've expressed that you dont' like it and he's still doing it, you can either give him an ulitmatum (which is damaging to a relationship) or just ignore it. Tell him that you feel less sexy or less desirable because he's looking at other girls...maybe he will be so willing to reassure you that he'll give this up and focus on you more. Also dress up sexy once in a while and use music and candles during lovemaking...show him some real life sexy things so that he'll focus less on porn. But most men look at it because of curiousity rather than an actual turn on/jerk off thing.
2006-10-18 03:11:19 · answer #2 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is curious to me is why it did not bother you when you dated him but it does now that you are married. What has changed? I realize there are many perspectives on this issue… however, the two of you have chosen to be life partners and this is the biggest commitment you will ever make in your life. If it bothers you… you need to discuss this with him… and if the behavior continues, perhaps a counselor would be useful. Porn is a release… to be used to get off with. That is the bottom line. Everything else falls to that place. I understand the erotic aspects to looking at it… but since he has chosen you as his life partner, why would he not want that release with you? If he keeps getting off to porn… he does not have to be emotionally intimate with you… or work at making his sexual life creative, to try new things and much more. It’s like anything else in life. You can decide you are hungry and eat macaroni and cheese every day or… you can learn to really cook, find some variety and adventure in new things. Porn is the same old stuff with a different face on it every day. You are the adventure and in this space are great possibilities. Talk to him… see a counselor if things don’t get better. You don’t sound like someone that overreacts obsessively… trust your instincts!
2006-10-17 23:17:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not overreacting. It's normal for you to feel jealous about porn. However, it's also normal for him to be in the habit of it.
Porn becomes a problem if you feel like you are being neglected (i.e. not satisfied in the bedroom) because of the time he spends looking at porn. If this is the case, I would suggest counselling.
It's good that you've told him how you feel. Ask yourself this...if he looked at porn and you never, ever found out about it, would you be happy with that? You might consider making the extra request of him that he make sure he covers his tracks well enough.
2006-10-17 23:13:04 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn sites become very addicting to the point that he has to want to needs to any time of the day or night.....most addicts cannot stop and they ask the wife to join in and usually the marriage desolves,,keep and eye on the time he spends keep a daily log and keep track he may be getting up while you are sleeping,,,don"t be jealous these sites are full of sluts and pigs..but you will have to keep track if he is on 3 4 5 6 hrs you have a problem 8 ....10 hrs serious 7 days aweek whew..good luck sureilll
2006-10-17 23:19:05 · answer #5 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I do not think you are wrong a married man should not look at that stuff give him an ultimatum you or the porn he needs to learn that sex and anything to with sex is between you two tell him you are OK to doing new things as long as it is just the two of you no porn or other people involved!
2006-10-17 23:18:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I asked a question similar to this and they thought I was going overboard. I get jealous when my husband looks at porn, i kinda feel like it's the other woman. It's not often, but it still make me uncomfortable. He also says that it is just a habitual thing, and has nothing to do with me. I tried to watch it and it is just really demeaning to me as a woman that those women are allowing that to go on. I agree with you, but most people on this site won't.
2006-10-17 23:11:44 · answer #7 · answered by PRL8268 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking a pictures is part of a fantasy. He gets excited and if you looked at porn with him you might find that it excites you.
It really has nothing to do with what he feels for you, he loves you and is with you day in and day out, don't you ever fantasize about some hunk that you know you will never have? Its the same thing.
2006-10-17 23:13:01 · answer #8 · answered by loveseat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you feel that it is you that your husband is making love to then there is no problem. We all have fantasies. Looking at porn is the same thing. Your husband is not dead and neither are you. Again as long as you are secure in the fact that your husband is making love to you then i feel as though it is ok. Trust me, jealousy is a really ugly thing and if you can stop yourself from going there i would. Good Luck....
2006-10-17 23:11:37 · answer #9 · answered by BB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not over reacting every woman feels that jealousy when their man is looking at porn even though they are not cheating they are still looking at other women naked. Then you feel the need to compare yourself to these other woman that he is looking at. you think am I not good enough for him that he has to looka t porn. You should just talk to him about it and tell him that it is really bothering you and could he please stop so that it does not have a negative effect on your marriage
2006-10-17 23:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not be doing some of the sex acts that he sees on the porn sites. Men are visual. If you don't mind, let him do the things to you that he sees on the porn sites. Then do it again, and again. His peter will be so worn out that it'll hurt to look at porn. I lost interest in looking at other women when my wife started to do really nice things to me in bed.
2006-10-17 23:45:10 · answer #11 · answered by scerre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋