My bf and i live together and he makes 2-3 times more money than i do. He was married before and she didnt work therefore she didnt have to pay any thing. He never asked her to work etc... he has asked me to pay half of all the monthly bills, should this bother me? I clean the house, cook, do the laundry, pack his lunch for work etc... What do u think? (i've asked this question before but went into more detail this time to get more results).
2006-10-17 15:53:34 · 13 answers · asked by Hilllbilly_gal 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
the womans job at home is equivalent to a full time job so he should be a man and pay the bills
2006-10-17 15:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him know he can't have it both ways. As it is now, you pay 50% as though you are roomates, but you're doing the domestic work a "stay-at-home" wife would do. Ask him if he wants a roomate, and if he does he needs to behave like a roomate and do 50% of the domestic stuff. If he wants a wife, or the emotional equivalent of a wife, then he should be paying for more of the expenses. Appeal to his logic and don't get upset when you discuss this with him. You've allowed him to get away with this for awhile, (which doesn't relieve him of responsibility in this situation) so he will probably have a period of adjusting to deal with, but don't let that stop you. If you don't take care of this now, you'll end up resenting him and that can kill your relationship.
2006-10-17 23:24:02 · answer #2 · answered by Yogini108 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not married, then technically you are a "roommate with benefits", pay your half, but he should also do half the work. He should help with the housework, cooking, laundry, etc. He should not expect a "rent-paying wife". If he wants a wife, he should marry you, otherwise, he should act like a roommate and do his share.
2006-10-17 23:00:38 · answer #3 · answered by b_friskey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmm....... first of all you live and learn. he has apparently "been there, done that" so maybe he realizes now that it was destructive to have his wife not pitch in financially--obviously i don't know if it is like him to think that way... but you live and learn, so i think it is possible that he is not trying to have the same relationship twice.
but yes, i can also see why this would bother you, and i think you have every right to be bothered, and i would be bothered if i were in your shoes. but there is two sides to the "story"... two views to take.
soooo... i recommend that you talk to him about it. let him know that you work hard at your job and in the house, and that you feel you can't pay HALF of the bills, but that you are willing to pay what you can, and figure out what it affordable for you.
2006-10-17 22:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite simple, you are not married. Tell him he needs to do his share of the housework, cooking, laundry and stop packing his lunch. He is a big boy. That little luxury is special for husbands I think.
2006-10-17 22:58:47 · answer #5 · answered by peach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pay your share of the bills but don't forget to charge him for the services you do. Cleaning the house,maid services about 2400 a yr, cooking,chefs what about 35k a yr, laundry,yeap that's extra.... this should net you more then you pay. LOL well you get the message
2006-10-17 23:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by lQQking 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that if u are unhappy and it bothers u, say something. i have lived with my boyfriend for 8 yrs and he has never asked me to pay for anything. we have a child together and he paid for everything and all my money has gone to savings or to take care of my son, like clothing or childcare. but beyond that he pays for everything. i would not mind helping with finances but he says that my money should be for myself, but there are some people that prefer the fifty fifty thing and if that makes you guys feel more equal then just go for what works for u.
2006-10-17 23:03:50 · answer #7 · answered by RocKsTaR 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is not Fair but maybe you should talk it out with him and he can tell you why he feels that you should pay half of the rent. You should also ask him why he did not make his wife do the same. And how do you know that his wife did not pay?
2006-10-17 22:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by bettyboop_bell 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds fair. Money is money.You should each pay half your not married. If you asking about the house work that is different tell him to pitch in.
2006-10-17 22:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by kate b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie ! I would pay half
only because I'm independent and don't depend on anyone.
.
It's nice to have someone their to help..
But always ask your self.
If anything happen to him(God forbid) Can I take care
of myself..Never ever depend on anyone it will mess you
up if something happen to them.
.Just my opinion(smile)
2006-10-17 23:03:21 · answer #10 · answered by soundlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋