hi i have a weird situation, can someone help?

Question

hello everybody. i have a problem (that may seem really minor to some folks, but to me, it's major.) that i'm hoping is similar to someones or if you understand, can help me?

sometimes when i walk into stores or businesses (especially if i'm by myself), i get a little afraid, and i feel ackward. i get these weird feelings like, i wonder how this person is perceiving me. im afraid if i look too serious, or if im not smiling enough, smiling too much, or if i look red (i blush easily).

anyone know what this might be and how i can fix it?

thanks so much!

Answer 1

LOL--All this talk of "Independent Variables" (what a crock!) and medications and counseling. Look, I have my Bachelor's degree in psych and worked in the field for many years, but left it because I found most people who seek counseling are self-centered and bored and want attention. (A lot of bored housewives!) Shrinks these days simply tell patients what they want to hear and give them meds and a diagnosis to make the patients feel justified in seeking help: "See honey." says the bored but perfectly sane housewife, to her hubby, "I'm really not just lazy and dim, my doc says I have Depression!"
Trust me: most patients are HAPPY when they get diagnosed.
All you need to do is pray to God or Jesus for strength and courage to cope with your mild social anxiety. it will be gone immediately; I promise. Do yourself a favor and stay away from the meds; they all have side effects!
Email me if you need any more help. I've been there and done that and found The Way.

Answer 2

This, I am good at. Environmental Psychology is my major in college. There are two element here:

I am going to term your feelings of inadequacy as a dependent variable, and the situation as an independent variable, because you feel that the independent variable is acting upon your emotions.

In reality, most people have feelings of insecurity in alien surroundings. Try going across the border to Mexico for a day. I had my purse clutched tightly to my side, and was looking around like a fox in a hound house.

So in essence, your feelings are not unusual, what they maybe, are symptoms of self-doubt.

If you are in your early twenties or younger, trust me, these feelings will fade. If the situation you describe only occurs in certain stores, or certain environments, I would suggest that you either take a friend with you, or you find some place else to shop.

Your perception of yourself is not unusual. When we look in the mirror, we always see the flaws. So when we go out in public, we wonder if other people are seeing what we see. I say no.

People are very self-centered in shopping environments, and unless you have a screaming kid in your cart, NOBODY WILL NOTICE YOU.

Answer 3

Okay. Assuming that you look like a "normal" person (I mean you dont have a bone thru your nose, or dress in total filthy rags, or have a mohawk accompanied by leather chaps or something), practice going into these places and with a smile on your face walk up to people and ask them if they know what time it is, or where the restrooms are, or where the bookstore is etc. You will get used to talking to people and you will see that they are all just "people" and you should not fear them. Because all you have is fear in you. You will slowly get rid of it this way.

Answer 4

Just relax. The average person out there is not really paying attention to you and they are attracted to you or want something from you or you do something obvious to embarrass yourself. I don't know your age, but if you are a teen, I've read that alot of teens have what they call "spotlight affect" where they think people are focused on them when they really aren't. If this feeling is intense and prolonged for you, you may have a form of social anxiety and you may want to do some research and talk to a doctor or psychologist.

Answer 5

Hi Jen,
First off. Don't pay any attention to the answers that don't take you seriously.
I don't know how young you are. You are less phobic, fearful when accompanied. So, whenever possible, go to these places with a friend or family member.
Talk about this with people when you can get feedback in real time. The good people on this site can't give you a hug and they can't follow through. I am saying, don't depend on this venue, alone. Be well.

Answer 6

Social anxiety Disorder.

You have to keep practicing going into places and fighting the feelings. exposure is the best treatment for anxiety disorders.

If it gets really bad you may try an antianxiety med like zoloft or paxil However, this treats the symptoms. You need to skill build. You may want to see a psychologist to help you with coping skills.

Answer 7

This is not a weird question. I have had it most my life. It is called social anxiety & panic attacks. Talk to your Dr. about it, he might be able to give you some meds. for it. Hope you feel better soon. Good luck, Becky

Answer 8

You're describing symptoms of social anxiety. It's normal even though it feels weird. Unless....

If it bothers you so much, or so frequently, that you can't function or you're severely distressed, then you can consult a psychologist for therapy.

I wouldn't recommend medications (that a psyCHIATRIST might prescribe) because their effects are temporary (stop working once you stop taking them) and they have very unpleasant side effects.

Answer 9

I have the same thing. It's called social anxiety. It's more common than you think. I take antidepressants and anti anxiety medications when it gets really bad. Talk to your doctor about what they can do for you.

Answer 10

I'm not sure I agree with social anxiety because you feel this way mostly when you're by yourself. Maybe you're just a little paranoid when you're by yourself because you don't have your "support group" around you. I know I feel more vulnerable by myself in unfamiliar situations.