What would you do if your boyfriend who you have been with for 5 years can not hold an erection??We have tried every pill on the market which did not work--he was a virgin when we met and thinks that the pills did work when I tell him that they do not he argues that its my fault--he is happy with hand jobs I am completely unsatisfied and he wants to get married!! I am divorced and have 4 children
2006-10-17 15:00:25 · 18 answers · asked by beaq 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he is getting defensive because he feels inadequate. have you tried seeing a sex therapist? there is obviously a reason behind him being unable to hold an erection. it's great that he is being satisfied, but if he values the relationship, he will consider your needs as well. it's not your fault!!
2006-10-17 15:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by leolady0765 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just leave if it's that important to you. although you should get fixed or use birth control so you don't have anymore children unless you want more. don't cheat. that is probably the stupidest thing you could do. What if you meet a great guy and he asks if you ever cheated? that wouldn't make you look too appealing to him. You really shouldn't have stayed with him for so long if this problem bothered you so much. Was this a relationship for love or just convenience for someone to take care of your children? If you aren't happy with just giving him hand jobs for the rest of your life then no don't marry him. Don't break his heart. It sounds like you are already on your way to do that anyway for staying in this relationship for as long as you have. But that was your decision. Just let him down easy. It's a delicate situation.
2006-10-17 15:04:59 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something sound weird.. He has an erection with a hand job but during penetrecion he doesnt. We think that only women have self esteem but i can tell you that is not. Men are ensecure too. So if he thinks that he cant have an erection, he wont. The pills or other thing are only bullshit. Is he stress out? That can effect too the erection. But let me tell you somenthing, i understand you care about him and he wants to get marry, but the sex in a relationship is everything and in the same time is not important. But if you are not happy with that i think comes natural if you feel so find a partner. We need love and understanding in a relationship but SEX TOO!!!
2006-10-17 15:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by sweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not happy now...imagine how you will be in 10 years....not a good picture, is it? I think that 5 years of your life is enough to throw away, cut your losses and move on.
And by the way...next time, do not even consider someone who will blame you for their own shortcomings...in bed, or any other area. If he is not mature enough to take responsibility for his own actions, and failures, then he is not the sort of person that you can build a life with.
2006-10-17 15:29:45 · answer #4 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really hard situation you're in. I think your best bet would be to leave. There are so many men out there, you needn't settle for someone who isn't as interested in your pleasure and enjoyment as he is with his own. I hope that you figure out what to do, but if you're not happy, don't ruin it for both of you, and don't ruin what could turn into a great friendship by cheating on him, when it's maybe just not meant to be...good luck,
Jen
2006-10-17 15:04:47 · answer #5 · answered by Jenna_OZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats ****** no sex in 5 years. Dildos get old you need to dump that limp fuc&%$. Nah really thou h eseems lie a cool guy just cant keep it up so dont cheat on him but at the same time let him go nicely, then *** on ova to Mr Teas place.
I pity the fool who denies my temptation of gold chains and naked scenes
2006-10-17 15:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends. If you want to stay with him because you feel at home and do not want things to change but you know it is ONLY the sex you miss then cheat if you can. I know it sounds bad but if you can do it and not feel guilty and he does not know then everyone is happy.
Just watch out you don't fall for a new guy and everything comes out.
But.... Can you do it?
Sorry but that's what i think :D
2006-10-17 15:09:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lee Doyle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't be happy together then you should leave before you get married. Cheating is not going to make anyone feel better. You'll just be trading sexual frustration for guilt...and that's bound to feel worse.
2006-10-17 15:04:20 · answer #8 · answered by wailing_scream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get him to go to a doctor he may have greater underlying problems There are quite a lot of things that could cause ED stress Diabetes etc.
2006-10-17 15:15:31 · answer #9 · answered by Jack C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this guy stick with him till he can see a doctor,his male hormone level could be down or something a little surgery can take care of.
2006-10-17 15:04:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋