My husband and I recently divorced. We were living in Alabama but I chose to move to KY where I have owned a house for many years (paid for). All of my relatives live in Calif. I would love to go back, but the real estate is now so high, that I would never be able to afford to buy into it at this stage. I am somewhat depressed and lonely, since I don't work (took early retirement before leaving AL) and have no close friends or any relatives here. I live in the country with no close neighbors. I am loathe to live in an apartment in CA as I have numerous pets. Should I stay here and try to make a life for myself?
2006-10-17 14:57:07 · 21 answers · asked by 13th Floor 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are depressed and lonely chances you will be depressed no matter where you moved too after a while. You definitely need to occupy yourself to take you minds off things. Since you cannot moved to CA at this point in time, spend your time doing things that you enjoy or try activities you've never had the time for. Basically you need to do meaningful activities so that you can enjoy your life again. Since there are no neighbours try volunteer work at the hospital, homes, library etc.. you'll meet pple and make some friends... Make upself happy cause only you can do that!
2006-10-17 15:08:42 · answer #1 · answered by always angry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been livig in the south for a long time, there is somethig else you had better think about. Califorina is a diferent world. I have been to both Alamama and Kentucky and would never want to live there. I do not mean to offend but it is just too far south for me. It sounds like you have a pretty good gig in Kentucky. Even thugh you live in the coutry there must be a town somewhat close. Here is what I would do. Keep your house and slide into town now and then. When you are there make some friends. Every once in a while invite your friends out to play cards or something. You can even find people to chat with online if you get too bored. You could grow a garden or even some chickens. Enjoy the quiet and good luck.
2006-10-17 15:15:35 · answer #2 · answered by MAD MEL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the interest of finances,you could try to make a go of it where you are but take some steps to make it enjoyable:It sounds as if you love animals,is there a shelter you can volunteer at?If there were no interesting friendships struck,you'd atleast have the satisfaction of the animals!What groups are there in your area for depression/divorce/hobbies/
singles whatever?Check out local resources,and along the way meet people while gathering facts.If after time your heart still calls you to CA,sell the house and enlist help from the relatives you are longing for.You may even have to trade the paid house for other living arrangements to be in proximity to them,but the sacrifice is up to you.Best of Luck
2006-10-17 15:10:04 · answer #3 · answered by maykithapin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not visit your relatives in California? Perhaps they may be able to help you get a job so that you can be financially secure. But you need to be flexible to adapt to some changes like renting or living in an apartment. If I were in your shoes, I would explore other places where I may live differently and be open for changes. Life is full of challenges and unless you make a move, you're not going places. Why not give yourself an oportunity to seek greener pasture? Do yourself a favor, no one is too old to
start a life anew. There is always a room for advancement, only if you will allow it.
2006-10-17 15:23:36 · answer #4 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay where you are and make a great life for yourself. You have the worry free mind of someone who doesn't have to worry about a mortgage. The market in CA and numberous other states will be on a downslide for at least another few years. The cost of living in Cali is also outrageous. It is difficult to find apts that will allow one pet much less numerous and that would put you in the position of buying a home and assuming another mortgage. Take an extended vacation to visit with family. It is much cheaper and you will feel refreshed and motivated when you come back to "Home Sweet Home".
2006-10-17 15:10:52 · answer #5 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is tough. If you really feel lonely and think that being around family would help them do some serious research and possible move to CA. Where there is a will there is a way. There are always options we just sometimes don't see them when we are down. Or if you really feel moving is not your best answer. Then get out maybe work part time or join a group or something to meet people you will be surprised how different you will feel getting out there. Give it a chance.
2006-10-17 15:03:52 · answer #6 · answered by cutetoes68 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself 2 years. As I am sure you realize, the cultures between E & W coast are vastly different. Take some weeklong vacations in CA to discover the lifestyle. Meanwhile, locally, company seldom comes a calling. Start up a 4 H club for pets, check at the vets for any pet groups, go to church, bowl, join a libary group, sign up to help at local events such as decorating town hall or registering walkers for Cancer Awareness walks, wrap Toys for Tots. 24 months - if you are still counting at 23 put out the for sale sign.
2006-10-17 15:02:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know real estate is really expensive here in California, but if you are really diligent you may find some bargins, may not be in the major cities but there are some. Until you decide if you want to relocate, get yourself busy doing volunteer work or perhaps go back to work to keep busy. Join a church, bridge club, whatever you enjoy. Take some classes at the local community college....
2006-10-17 15:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you would like to be close to your relatives in California. Make a life for yourself. Move to Mexico, where the cost of living is cheaper. You will meet new friends and have a climate more suited to your lifestyle.
2006-10-17 15:03:12 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is never easy and it takes a long time to recover , about 5 years on average, even if you think your doing OK. Stay life will open up for you. You are very lonely now, but you have a naturally outgoing personality and things will improve
2006-10-17 15:01:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋