Although we have 2 kids (4 and 6), for 10 years I have been unappreciated, not given the kind of affection I want or deserve. Believe me I have been through the fire w/ this man. He has cheated, lied, and always been inattentive and unappreciative. Although I see no signs of deciet, just his general lack of respect, appreciation, and affection leaves me wanting. I am 31 years old. Am I crazy for just wanting to walk away. Is it too late to find the "right one"?
2006-10-17 13:55:37 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What did you do to make him this way? Two way street here! He may feel the same way about you.
2006-10-17 14:00:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋
If you don't want to be married to him, then divorce him. It sounds like you have decent reasons for wanting out. So, do what you feel is best for you and the kids.
However....please realize, there is no guarantee that you'll find "the right one" or that he ever even existed for you...or anyone else. It's all a crap shoot, hon. You roll the dice, take your best chance, and hope for the best.
If you're getting out of this marriage, then do that...for the right reasons, and not because you think there's some pot of gold at the end of the rainbow....with "Mr. Right" in it waiting for you.
You may never remarry. If you don't figure out where you went wrong with this one...you may remarry and not do any better the second time around. There is no "once upon a time" and "happily ever after". There are just people, and relationships, and hard work to make it come out right.
Good luck.
2006-10-17 21:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a horrible situation. Sounds like you have put up with a lot of crap from him. 31 ain't too old to find someone. But make sure that you don't have a "Suffering Sarah" complex. What I mean is 10 yrs. is a long time to be putting up with his mess and if you haven't put the right things in action to let this man know that you will not be walked over or if you have communication problems (and he ain't no mind reader) then you'll carry those same unfruitful actions to a new relationship. While you are deciding what to do I suggest you strengthen yourself, in and out. If you look torn up, get fixed up. Change your hair or whatever. Make yourself look good to yourself. Take some self-help courses or read some self-help books. This will help you think clearly to make the right choice for you and the kids because no one else can make it for you. Much success to you. I know it's not easy.
2006-10-17 21:06:45 · answer #3 · answered by meillee44 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF you plan to divorce your hubbie, please make sure your 10 wedding anniversary has past so you can collect on his social security benefits when you hit retirement age. I hate to hear about your situation, but my ex husband was much worse. Try counseling first and if things do not work out go for the divorce. Things are not going to be easy and you need to start documenting. Keep the jourmal at your mother's house or something so he doesn't know what you are doing. You have children....and that is going to be a BIG issue. I know. I've been there and done that. They can dog you out, but when you let them go they try any and everything in the world to make you look bad.
2006-10-17 21:05:17 · answer #4 · answered by Safire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not crazy for wanting to walk away from a broken marriage that cannot be fixed.
It seems to me you stuck around long enough to see if things would get better and they didn't. If he's cheated on you, then he doesn't love you. Cheaters don't respect and love their wives, if they did, they wouldn't be driven to another womans arms. If he lies, he doesn't respect you. Honesty is the only way to go about a marriage and if he wanted you to trust him, he'd tell the truth. If he cared about your or his kids, he'd tell you the truth and be faithful.
Any man that doesn't appreciate a responsible, loving, and faithful wife, doesn't deserve to have one!
Your children deserve to be in a better environment. It's ridiculous to have them be witness to their deadbeat fathers manipulative ways. You don't want your children to grow up thinking his behavior is acceptable and start doing that to their wives or allowing their husband to do the same to them.
Therefore, it is best if you leave.
2006-10-17 21:02:21 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he provide for you and your children? Does he beat you?
Does he beat your children? In to days world, it can always get worse, if he is a good provider and father, leaving him would be a big mistake, he made mistakes, you and he need to go to marriage counseling. Don't deprive the children of their father and yourself of a potentially great husband. some men have to be to told what you want, they are clueless. You need to communicate how you feel and if he does not want to talk or listen, tell him that you want your marriage and him and that you will give him one last chance and go to marriage counseling or else. If you find you must leave him, make sure you have money put away or you will have big problems by yourself..
2006-10-17 21:07:58 · answer #6 · answered by mimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you see divorce as an option, you will probably end up divorced. You don't need anyones permission to end your marriage. But first ask yourself if you have done everything YOU can to make it work. Do you talk to him, have you told him how you feel? Sometimes, people just get into a rut, and start taking each other for granted. Demand his respect, and his appreciation. Let him know that you are on your last straw, and ask him if that's what he really wants.
2006-10-17 21:04:24 · answer #7 · answered by venusiaint 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My Dear and Beautiful Young Lady and Mother,
First of all it's never to late to start again, and after all you are yet such a your and Beautiful person,
What surprises me is why you are still with him,
He is a player and a player is a cheat, a liar. a womanizer. selfish, and Greedy and he is one that cares for no one but him self,
so don't start lying to yourself and making up reasons not to leave.
And what makes things even worse in your situation is that you are thinking that you must live with this pig.
Say nothing and trust not even your best friend, just plan it all out and then when the time is right, get out of there fast and don't stop to even look back because there is really nothing there to see.
This pig will one day bring home a deadly diseases and pass it on to you, and with out even thinking about your safting.
The damage is done, and there is no repairing this guys sick habits...so get out before its to late please.
You own this pig nothing not even a note, and please remember trust no one not even your best friend.
Good Luck and God Bless You and your two Beautiful Children.
now " GO " when you have but it all together and remember trust no one but yourself.
2006-10-17 21:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by candyman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to find yourself someone that will appreciate you. You're not doing y our kids any good by staying with this man. Trust me, your kids can feel the tensions between the two of you. You are still young. There are plenty of good men left in this world.
2006-10-17 23:12:25 · answer #9 · answered by Trouble92126 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NEVER too late to find happiness! It is NEVER too late to find '"the right one", but you're never going to find him as long as you're in a miserable existence of a marriage. I don't advocate divorce at the drop of a hat, but I also don't advocate living a miserable life, being lied to , and cheated on either. You know what you need to do......my advice is, DO IT! Best of Luck!
2006-10-17 21:04:17 · answer #10 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no "right one." That's a crazy idea. But it is not too late to leave him and live happily by yourself. Get a boyfriend or six. Don't get married again; it will turn out the same. Men are great boyfriends, lousy husbands.
2006-10-17 20:58:32 · answer #11 · answered by C. V. C 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋