I am planning to move out of state with my kids. the father is aware of this but won't give permision. there is no court order on custody or visitaion. He will still see the children, just instead of every other weedend, I suggested lumping the time together.
2006-10-17
13:05:27
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21 answers
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asked by
Lynn
3
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
we are still married, but planning to divorce.
2006-10-17
13:11:16 ·
update #1
I would also like to point out that those with negative responces, that I am not trying to move to hurt my kids or father. Father has never taken active part in their lives, but doesn't want me to go so he can control me. If I stay in this state I have no family and no support system and it is very expesive to live. My husband can barely afford to support us as is and refuses to consider more affordable living arrangements. Rather that suject my kids to those hardships that I know are coming, I choose to take matters into my own hands (so to speak) and provide them with a better chance at life, in a better enviorment and community and better schools, so on. I am not an unfit mother. Those comments can be kept you yourself. I did not ask this question to be insulted, I am looking for compentant advice.
2006-10-17
13:26:03 ·
update #2
I would also like to point out that those with negative responces, that I am not trying to move to hurt my kids or father. Father has never taken active part in their lives, but doesn't want me to go so he can control me. If I stay in this state I have no family and no support system and it is very expesive to live. My husband can barely afford to support us as is and refuses to consider more affordable living arrangements. Rather that suject my kids to those hardships that I know are coming, I choose to take matters into my own hands (so to speak) and provide them with a better chance at life, in a better enviorment and community and better schools, so on. I am not an unfit mother. Those comments can be kept you yourself. I did not ask this question to be insulted, I am looking for competant advice.
2006-10-17
13:26:19 ·
update #3
I would also like to point out that those with negative responces, that I am not trying to move to hurt my kids or father. Father has never taken active part in their lives, but doesn't want me to go so he can control me. If I stay in this state I have no family and no support system and it is very expesive to live. My husband can barely afford to support us as is and refuses to consider more affordable living arrangements. Rather that suject my kids to those hardships that I know are coming, I choose to take matters into my own hands (so to speak) and provide them with a better chance at life, in a better enviorment and community and better schools, so on. I am not an unfit mother. Those comments can be kept you yourself. I did not ask this question to be insulted, I am looking for competant advice.
2006-10-17
13:26:24 ·
update #4
If there is no court order involved, then there is nothing stopping you. If the father is really agaisnt it, then his only option is to get an attorney and go to Court. If he does that, then they will request an emergency hearing based on a significant change of circimstance. You will go before a Judge and he will either let you move, or tell you that you can't. If you are moving to improve your circumstances and those of the children, then the Judge will probaly let you move.
All of that is contingent upon him getting an attorney. Otherwise, there really isn't anything he can do. Just be sure that you aren't hurting the children. They need thier father to be in their lives. Lumping his time together can definitely work. I would strongly suggest you set something up in writing as far as visitation and both of you sign it and get it notarized. That way if you ever do end up in Court, you have something to show.
Good luck.
2006-10-17 13:13:12
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answer #1
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answered by Mom of 3 3
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My sister just went through this. Since there is no court order, and no divorce, you can leave but trouble will follow. He can sue for custody. If he does this, you will have a fight on your hands. You will have to prove that it is in the kids' best interest to stay with you most of the time. If you are moving to get a better job or moving closer to your parents/support system, then you will have a stronger case for moving and keeping the kids, if you are moving just to be away from hubby and have no job waiting, don't try it until you have a good job there first. This will probably be very stressful and you need to make sure that the kids are doing ok and get any help they need, this will be best for them and help your case. Now is a good time to consult an attorney.
Best of luck through these changes.
2006-10-17 13:31:04
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answer #2
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answered by Huggles-the-wise 5
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You need to think about the kids first. Without knowing all the details of your situation, it is hard to give advice. The reason why he won't give permission is maybe because he feels that it is not a necessary move, visitation issues may arise, child support may go up, etc.
There is always a child vistiation/custody order in any type of separation/divorce. I don't care what state you live in. If you are just planning to move out, then he has all legal rights to legal AND physical custody of the kids. If you just get up and leave and take the kids, it could cause a bunch of legal headaches for you. Your rights for any type of custody could be lost.
Your best answer is to seek legal advice, of course. Also, find a mediator and draw up vistation/custody arraignments if there aren't any now. It will save you more time, money, and hardship to do this now, then to fight it later.
2006-10-17 13:17:55
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answer #3
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answered by Lonewolf 3
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If your divorce decree does not state you are to remain within a certain distance of your ex, you have every right tochange locations. He has the same right. Unless stated, he could live anywhere on the face of the Earth unless a requirement is he MUST see the children as long as he pays his support. At this point with him having visitation it is only a privilege. Check with divorce attorney to verify the stipulations but unless noted you are allowed to do as you wish.
The only confusing portion is where you are stating there is no court order on custody. One of you has to have custody or at the very least, shared custody.
2006-10-17 13:26:55
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answer #4
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answered by Braveheart 3
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I would guess since you're still married and there's nothing on the books as far as custody, you could move without fear of penalty. If he does sue for custody, then possession is 9/10 of the law. You already have the kids it would be an uphill battle for him to get them.
That said, I would consult an attorney first. Most of the time your initial visit is free or $30.00 - $50.00. I think it would be worth paying to get accurate information. Most of what is here is a matter of opinion.
2006-10-17 13:37:40
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answer #5
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answered by ? 6
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Have an attorney draw up a letter formally notifying your husband or ex husband that you are moving, where you are moving to, the future address and phone number if you have it. Have it Notorized and sent Certified mail so he has to sign for it. You do not need his permission to move out of state, you only have to inform him. Sending him a certified legal notorized letter will do just that and will be a good defense if he fights you in court for custody of the kids. A court must decide visitation if a mutual agreement cannot be decided upon between the parties involved.
Whats wrong with my answer? How come I got a thumbs down and some of the really crappy ones did not? Ive been there, I know how it works.
2006-10-17 13:11:22
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answer #6
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answered by Amber L 3
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Well, i don't know with out a court order. All depends on if you are divorced or not, and who has primary custody. If you are divorced, and there was nothing brought up about not staying in state in the court order, then you can move freely. If your still married, i don't think you can legally move. I think he could put an order against it if he thought you were moving.
If you were never married, i don't think there is alot that he can do!
2006-10-17 13:09:32
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answer #7
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answered by vbeaver31 3
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You can leave. Period. Don't listen the slugs who offer no advice. Its almost time for their parents to send them to bed or the jailer will be calling 'lights out' shortly.
You can. File for divorce in the state you go to and he can be served back home. You will be wise to get an attorney prior to this. If you can show that you're the PRIMARY CAREGIVER for the kids...they stay with you. Visitation is a distinct possibilty but it can be supervised. I wouldn't plan on receiving any child support. He may hold back for spite. In fact...no doubt will. So be ready for that. But..that's another legal avenue you can deal with later.
Good luck. Kiss the bum goodbye.
2006-10-17 13:37:31
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answer #8
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answered by Quasimodo 7
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2016-12-04 22:46:36
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answer #9
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answered by stanberry 4
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check with an attorney.. I did this and was threatened with 10year in the federal womens pen and a $10,000.00 fine.. for crossing borders.. they took the kids back from me and nothing will ever be the same again between my kids and myself..
For doing this they told me rather than go to the pen if i would stay out of the original state for the 10 years they would drop all charges against me. I agreed rather than go to jail..
Check it out before you do anything.. only difference is that i was divorced and they call that kidnapping..
think before you do anything and find out all of your options first.. don't ruin things between your kids and yourself.
2006-10-17 13:20:57
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answer #10
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answered by Sandy F 4
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