I've been married with for 6 months and we have 2 kids. We've been together 3 years, but i stayed with him in the beginning because i got pregnant. We've been through a lot together and i'd feel terrible for leaving but i don't love him anymore. I'm in love with someone else and have been the entire time, but after this i realized i don't want to be in a relationship anymore. So it's not like I'd be leaving him for someone else but I don't know what to do I've tried to tell him before but he said he'd change and he never did. He's a good guy but we have completely different ideas about everything from money to how to raise the kids I don't know and please no answers like give me his number please
2006-10-17 13:04:57 · 31 answers · asked by Natalia's mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i don't want to hurt my kids and i figured that if i could make it work it'd be better for the kids.
2006-10-17 13:11:21 · update #1
oh yes financially i'll be fine if i leave i won't have to rely on government assistance or anything to raise my kids so the house is mine it's in my name and everything so finances aren't an issue
2006-10-17 13:12:55 · update #2
If you know you don't love him and won't be happy with him, then move on. If you think you could have something good with him and you would be happy "if only" - then get into counseling together and give it your best shot. It sounds as if you are confused. Get into counseling on your own as well, it will help you find more clarity.
2006-10-17 13:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There were days not so long back that everyone would say, "stay in the marriage only for the kids" or "I only stayed til the kids were old enough to move out and have there own lives." The worse thing a person can do is to stay in it for the children becasue sooner or later, the children are going to have to live with the tension of the parents and the misery they see, not to mention the fights which are yet to escalate to unbelievable heights. Getting married because you fell pregnant is the worse reason to get married and Im sorry for your predicament, but you shouldnt have been sleeping with him to get pregnant if you knew you didn't love him way back when. He may be a good guy, but he deserves better than the treatment you've given him. You should just leave and do your damdest to make sure that he has rights to the children and next time, don't just jump in coz your prgnant to someone........marriage is more than sex, it's a commitment to move heaven and earth, of give and give.
2006-10-17 13:17:56 · answer #2 · answered by Linda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a few questions. What do you think went wrong in your relationship? Do you think you loss feelings for him after you met the other person? I suggest that you two talk about the relationship. Tell him exactly how you feel and ways that you all can try to make things better. Let him know that you have had this conversation with him before and you want the marriage to work. Now if you do not want to be with husband and you feel you all are not compatible, then I suggest that you all talk about moving to the next level without each other. If you are unhappy in the marriage, your children will pick up on it and it can cause a dysfunctional family/household. Good Luck to you and I hope things can work out.
2006-10-17 14:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not being one to think people should stay together for the sake of the children because in the long run that never works out best - I would say that you need to first consider is this the best time to leave? Can you support your two children? Can you pay the monthly bills? Will you have a place to move to or will he voluntarily leave where you both are living? Should you stick it out for awhile and save some money for the move if you answered no to the above questions?
Good luck!
2006-10-17 13:11:18 · answer #4 · answered by Subi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont love him anymore, do you want to live the rest of your life with him? If you love the other guy then what are you doing with him? Sooner or later he will found out you are with him. What you are doing is cheating, and cheating is the lowest thing a human can do. Its over, thats simple. Now, do you know if he cheat on you? If yes, he deserve it, but the question is? how long you know the other guy? before getting married? if yes then you got married for something else. For money? did he promise you something and he never get it for you? You know, behind your own words there is something hidden that maybe you dont want to say. Another question: Did he discover you doing something and you feel shame and you dont want to face him for that reason? . The woman want to live exciting, you guys like to be with somebody that control you. You said: He's a good guy but . THATS THE KEY WORD the BUT means a lot of things. This is very simple, YOU DONT LOVE HIM. Broke the relationship before you broke his heart more than he is. If you have decide to leave him just leave him. Its worst to live with somebody that you dont love the rest of your life breaking each other heart everyday. One more thing, your kids are gonna pay the consequences for that, they gonna suffer so much without him, FOR SURE, and if you get into another relationship then when they grow they gonna do the same thing, and its gonna be VERY PAINFUL for them watching you with this other guy. You said: FINANCIALLY I'LL BE FINE. You see? Do you see? MONEY TALK........
2006-10-17 13:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by El guapo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me you don't know the difference between love and lust. Do you even know what marriage means? And you got married to him and now after 6 months you want out?
Come on and get real. The problems aren't the marriage, or anything else. It's you!!!! Get some help and learn from your past. You are just looking for the next best thing and when it comes, you "jump" on it.
Remember, for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health, 'til death do us part. If you didn't believe in that, why did you get married to begin with? For the kids? For the money? I think you need to start asking yourself, what is best for the KIDS. I also think you need to get your priories straight or you will be a sad, lonely woman.
2006-10-17 13:32:36 · answer #6 · answered by Lonewolf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God. Are you related to the woman here who has 2 kids froma guy whose married and has three with that wife? Yet..the girlfriend wants to end it all without hurting anyone's feelings? Are you?
Because man oh man...you both have a real mess here. I mean...doesn't anyone think about far reaching consequences anymore? About what COULD happen if you enter into these situations? I guess not.
2006-10-17 13:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't love the man when everything all started out why did you marry him? duh? just because you get pregnant is no reason to ever marry someone.. especially if you don't love that person..
You may as well pay for the divorce now because your feelings won't change for him.. and he won't change to help make your feelings change.. so it is over.. move out , move on, make a happy home for your children..
and don't marry anyone else that you don't love.. that was really stupid..
good luck with the rest of your life it has to get better..
2006-10-17 13:12:26 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not happy it don't make no sense on staying. Your just going to make it worse for your self as well as the kids. if you are not happy the kids won't be. Yes he may be hurt but you gotta look for you. Or you can just try to stick around and love him like doing things together. no one said marriage or love is going to be easy.
2006-10-17 13:38:50 · answer #9 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
. Now I have heard you correctly; you girl should tell the truth and give that poor man a quick airliner ticket far away from you ///// sorry to be so candid but you want to know >>>> I seriously cannot believe for the life of me that a normal stable person,, would walk down the isle and marry and have children with him all the while you are loving someone but not him""HELLO WHAT ARE WE WORKING WITH FOR BRAINS "" YOU GIVE WOMEN A SAD *** NAME and let this poor guy have his children to you don't deserve them and hubby and kids would be better off walk away and let a real lady love him for the person he is , you want this other man ,go for it girl ////////////
2006-10-17 13:19:24 · answer #10 · answered by yvette b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋