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My husband constantly accuses me of cheating on him. I spend a lot of time online, and if I even pass by a site where there's a picture of a man doing anything, he will track it on the history and then crazily roam around setting up internet dates for himself. I know that he did not go where he said he was going today because one of his friends accidentally gave him away. He shouts things like "I'll give you AIDS if I feel like it!" and stays up all night long drinking and searching for women.

I'm not allowed to go anywhere without him. If people with blocked numbers call the house, he thinks I'm sleeping with them. How do I get through to this jerk who thinks he's so smart?! I don't do that. I would never have sex with anybody other than my husband. I've never done that to anyone. I don't know how else to say it.

2006-10-17 12:45:51 · 17 answers · asked by Em 5 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

When I say a "picture of a man doing anything", I mean: holding a garden hose, included in a news article, or used as stock footage.

2006-10-17 12:47:33 · update #1

I would prefer to stay married. We've had some great moments. When he goes off in his own direction, things are like this. Nothing leads up to this. I want it normal again.

2006-10-17 12:50:50 · update #2

17 answers

This is bigger than the 2 of you can settle. My husband does the same thing. (I used to do it to him right before we got married - so I know what it feels like to THINK that your spouse could be cheating) I used to check his phone records and look up numbers on the internet, check his history and mail and phone etc. I stopped once I joined the military. Now he does it. I totally trust him, but he is always accusing me of cheating on him. If I have to work later ( which is a lot!!!) he'll ask if I was at the bars. I'd never cheat on him and I never have! It's frustrating, huh? We went to counseling a few months ago. It was only so I could get someone to tell my flight chiefs to put me on day shift ( we work 24hrs a day in 3 shifts on base) It solved a lot of our problems at home that we never knew we had, but things were better! We stopped going for a few months and it's horrible now! He calls me names and is verbally abusive and is persistant with the cheating thing. We're going back to counseling on Thursday.

Good luck.
I know what it's like from both sides...
If you want more advice, or just wanna vent or talk.... e-mail me
ur_a_deedeedee@yahoo.com

2006-10-17 13:19:11 · answer #1 · answered by ur a Dee Dee Dee 5 · 0 0

What I came to realize with my cheating husband is that the more guilty they feel the more they are going to try and put the focus on you. I could always tell whenever he had been cheating on me because he would accuse me of cheating on him with no real reason. Just watch and be careful someone who drinks like that I am not sure you sould trust. I would seriously either look into some marriage counseling if you are hoping to save your marriage or which maybe smarter hire a lawyer and leave him but don't tell him for your own safety.

2006-10-17 12:54:38 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki 1 · 3 0

Get out of this marriage, ASAP!
Not only is your husband at an all time low with his self esteem & insecure, he is most likely the one doing the cheating.
You see, he accuses you of cheating when he's the one actually doing the dirty deed.
If he loved or respected you, he would NEVER say such things like, "I'll give you AIDS if I feel like it." That's digusting and no real man would ever do or say such a thing!
You deserve to be respected and trusted in a relationship. Without trust, a marriage cannot sustain anyway. His crazy assumptions will only continue, probably worsen, and drive you to an all time low.
Save yourself before he ruins you! Get out of the marriage.

2006-10-17 12:52:15 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 2 0

sounds to me like your husband need some strict professional help, he sounds like my ex husband who has major mental problems that are set on a destruct mode. Your husband is co-dependant and a controller and manipulator who has the signs of "psychotic outbursts" You may love your husband, but if your not trying to get him help and support, then your life will be a living hell. You really need to step back and have a good hard look at your husband and stop covering it up with " I still want to be married to him and things have been good in the pst etc" Get him the help he needs before he hurts someone. It could be something as simple as a certain food intolerance, it could be bi-polar...........just get him to the doctors if you can. Listen to your head and not your heart, your getting some great advise from people on here, seriously, be careful.

2006-10-17 13:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by Linda 3 · 1 0

Em If this guy loves you how on earth can he possibly say he would give you a sexually transmitted disease that would leave you seriously ill at the very least , he has the seed of doubt sown into his mind and it is growing out of control he must think he is unworthy of you or someone may have told him about you and someone else.rumors are nasty when told to the wrong person .
Why is he dating others and hitting on line dating sites if he is worried about Fidelity in your marriage .
It sounds like your partnership is in danger of going under if neuther of you can find trust in each other.

2006-10-17 12:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by slick 4 · 3 0

First of all.....RUN!
Run like hell! Get away from this jerk! A lil' manly jealousy is one thing,but if you turn the page in a magazine and he starts screamin' at you because there's an ad for mens underwear....it's time to go.You should show him @ss-cheeks and elbows! Run!
Secondly....It's been my experience that a mate who acts this way,and accusses you of infidelity, is already cheating on YOU!
Gather up what's left of your self esteem and leave this guy! If you think it can't get any worse....then just stick around!

2006-10-17 12:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by Danny 5 · 1 0

mmmm... dangerous grounds there hun if he,s playing tricks like lying and staying out all night and making out he,s battery died!! "yea right" and he's staying at mummys lol cause he's ill?? hun if you ant having sex or he's dressing more smartly and acting distent towards u then yep!! im affraid he probley is. why dont or didnt you take the birds phone number and ask her your self? she hasnt got anything to lose so doubt she would lie, but he wont be truthfull as he as more to lose hope it helps hun x

2016-05-21 22:02:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

He accuses you of cheating because it justifies his cheating. My ex-husband did that with me and I never slept with anyone else till about six months after the divorce was final. We separated a year before the divorce was final. Justification...that's all.

2006-10-17 14:31:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

DANG!!! Can't you see this man has PROBLEMS????? What is the matter with YOU to stay in this relationship? For one, why do you spend so much time on the internet? Why not spend more time with HIM? Secondly, I have been where you are....my ex used to accuse me of cheating when in reality, he was the one cheating. Can't you figure it out that your husband IS cheating? Don't be so stupid!

2006-10-17 13:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 0 2

Sounds to me like an attack of the Guilts ..... you sure he isn't the one cheating? (how else is he going to give you aids???) if he doesn't trust you ... leave his *** ... If you're being truthful and just surfing and chatting trying to make friends and to find people who do trust you ..theres nothing wrong with that ... but it seems like he's an overbearing possessive, untrusting moron ... go find someone who deserves you :)

2006-10-17 12:50:54 · answer #10 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 2 0

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