We have been married for 3 years. A year ago I had surgery and may not be able to have children. The sooner we try the better our chances. He says he wants kids, and yet we never have intercourse. He just isn't interested in having sex with me. What can I do to make him want to have intercourse?
2006-10-17 12:36:48 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
90% of the time when there's lack of interest in sex, there's something else wrong in the relationship. When the relationship is close and intimate the sexual desires will come naturally.
Is he stressed over something - upset about the possibility of not having children? Maybe other issues in the marriage that bring about stress. Do the 2 of you show compassion and affection outside of the bedroom? It could be a number of factors...try looking into the relationship itself first and maybe you will discover the problem.
Also, If you do have a close relationship you should be able to ask your husband, and he should feel comfortable with sharing his reasons with you. Although this conversation should take place somewhere other then during a time when you are wanting to have sex. A neutral place, and time.
The other thing to consider is if either of you have changed a great deal physically since getting married. This can bring up some issues for couples also.
Good luck, and just try to keep a positive attitude about it. If you argue a lot about it, it will only get worse.
2006-10-17 12:55:10 · answer #1 · answered by Cjs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be a slew of reasons. Did surgury leaved you disfigured? Do you look as good as you did 3 years ago? SOrry to be blunt but physical cahnges so soon in a realtionship can do it.
Is there no intercourse or he refuses to have unprrotected sex for the sake of having kids?
2006-10-17 12:41:29 · answer #2 · answered by mren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first question to ask is WHY he doesnt want sex? That is a question you need to hear from him. You do NOT want to coerce him into something he doesnt want to do.He will resent you for that and it may well become the source of discord. But clearly if theres no sex in your marriage, there is something wrong in your marraige and you need to address the why with him. Finding the answer will go a long way to curing your problem.
2006-10-17 12:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by fatedforu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hot i can rip the screen right off the computer with your desires, where do you see he has no way to get the message when you are subliminal, i personally would abuse this situation to the max, as one Viagra or two Viagra or three Viagra grounded up in his favorite food sauces and pour it on his food, or salad, if the guy has no idea why he is the way hes: its you have already set it to stay on a roll so you have just enough scanty things on to play hard to get, this i assure u will not be over looked,(believe me it works maker your self easy to get and it will fill his fantisy and your problems as well) it has about a 50% chance that you can make his dreams cume true and who cares he is only alive waiting to be crazed so do it guys eat it up, but they can't dig them selves out of their @ss sometimes so whats the hell, he can only kill you once, bat your eyes at him as he see if your still alive
2006-10-17 12:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is odd that he doesn't want to have sex with you. Just demand him to tell you what his problem is. This isn't a normal marriage. Tell him you can't just exist and say you want kids without doing anything about it. Tell him that if he hasn't told you within 2 months then you will leave and that will be his own fault.
2006-10-17 12:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want intercourse ...mmm... how bout other "bedroom activities"? ... if it's a no to sex altogether I'd suggest some sort of councelling ... theres a problem there somewhere and I would think a serioius enough problem to jepordise your marriage ..... and if all else fails .... my number is 555...... lol ... just kidding ... go to talk to a professional about it
2006-10-17 12:40:55 · answer #6 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get him to a doctor they can suggest a good therapist , he may not want to have sex because he will feel unmanly if he can't make you pregnant !!!I'm sure its not you or he wouldn't be there , men are not going to tell you they feel inadequate , sounds like ,a deep issue talk to him and make sure he knows that he is a great lover & if he isn't it's up to u tease him and do anything you want to him make him feel sexy , forplay afterplay good luck and don't be hard on yourself he might sense the tension and feel worse
2006-10-17 12:48:35 · answer #7 · answered by yvette b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the local sex shops, they have tons of ideas, bring him with you and expect a long night!
2006-10-17 12:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by Dick Tater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try secretly planning sexy nights in with dinner, music, wine, candles, rose petals, massage oil, and langerie and dim lights before he gets home
2006-10-17 12:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by *SexXyLuV* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Once your hubby has denounced you sexuall it is mostly becasue what is between your legs has just went sour.
2006-10-17 12:45:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋