what do you think of marriage and porn?

Question

I am married and I look at porn every time I get a chance. I look at porn online for free I never pay for it nor do I masterbate every time I look at it .my wife thinks its a problem she says its repulsive to her . I look at it because I like the way women are put together I think its beautiful (I never look at it right after sex) maby the next day . I love my wife And I love when we are intimate together but we are not intimate as often as I would like. So my question is for men and women my personal opinion > I dont think its a problem please tell mw what you think thanks

Answer 1

I think that you need to take a hard look at what you actually get out of porn. You say you like admiring the female form, I can understand and respect that but that would not have the draw that you describe (every chance you get). There is something there that you are not seeing or not admitting, maybe you would like to play out the fantasies or you wish that life was more like porn where there is all pleasure and no responsibility, I don't know. You love your wife and you should respect her feelings. When you look at porn, it says to her that those women have something she doesn't, or are prettier and sexier. Whether you feel that way or not, that is the message she is getting. You want to be intimate more often but how can you expect your wife to feel sexy when you are looking at other women. If you feel up to the challenge, try this. From now until Thanksgiving (a little over a month is all), don't look at porn. When you feel like looking at porn, do something nice or romantic for your wife (ie. an extra chore, some flowers, a quick squeeze on the butt, a compliment). Instead of thinking about getting more sex from your wife, try being physically affectionate without the pressure of sex, try just reaching over and rubbing her back and kissing her neck, then roll over and go to sleep. Leave her wanting more and in a few days, she will be making the moves!
At the end of this month, think deeply about what the absence of porn has done, did you miss it? Was it as bad as you thought? Did you have more time for your wife and other interests? Is it worth the friction with your wife?
When you have answered these questions for yourself, talk with your wife (not in the bedroom, this is a living room conversation) about your feelings and wishes and really listen to her concerns, her feelings, and her wishes.
I guarantee that if you show your wife you are willing to put the porn aside even if it is just for a month, and you will find her more receptive to negotiation and compromise.
Good luck

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I'm an engaged woman and I don't believe it is a problem. The only time viewing pron becomes a problem is if someone becomes so obsessed with it that they allow it to take over their actual sex life and relationship.
Porn is actually healthy, it gives you a chance to see other things and get new ideas, but without having an affair to do see.
My fiancee and I watch porn together sometimes, not too often, but every once in a while & it gives us new ideas for positions and such.
Sometimes when I'm home, I check out porn! It's just an innocent thing unless a person becomes an overly active viewer.
And you're not even purchasing it! You're just viewing some of it. So, your wife has to learn how to compromise more with the decisions you make. She's not allowing you to do the things that you have a choice to do.

Answer 4

Hello,
I think you look at the porn because you and your wife are not as intimate as you want. So you looking at the porn maybe gives you a sense of fulfillment. But going through experiences with the couples that I know, believe me, this is not going to help your marriage.If you want your wife to give to you, you must give to her. Maybe you need 2 romance her as I'm sure you once did when you were dating her.She 's repulsive 2 it because she is probably afraid that you are going to leave her for someone else. It is her wifely right 2 be upset with you for what you are putting her through. So my advice 2 you is to get rid of the porn, and enjoy your wife for the things that she does for you and with you. There are other things U can do besides sex that will keep U and your wife very happy.

Answer 5

My husband was addicted to porn at one time and that led to starting up on-line relationships with women. The lie is that there is no affair because there is no physical sex. But, an affair of the heart robs the spouse as does the act. The internet is geared to bring more than just looking at porn into your bedroom - it invites you to talk to these people and connect with them.

This caused great deterioration of our connection and closeness on an emotional level. So it became a vicious circle. I could not truly let go in sex and/or became less interested because of a disconnect, so it was not as fulfilling for either of us and that led to more Internet porn, etc. on his part.

If your wife is telling you that she is uncomfortable with it and it hurts her, give it up for the sake of having the closest loving, trusting, committed relationship you can. If it turns out to be an addiction that is too difficult to stop, there are great support groups available.

Answer 6

My fiance and I both like porn. We don't watch a lot but some. She has come up with some great ideas from internet stuff she looks at and the same for me. We are both in our ealry 30s,in great shape and comfortable with our bodies. We have a fantastic sex life and sometimes will look at porn on the internet and masturbate together. When you try and hide something from the other is when you have problems.

Answer 7

You might be more intimate more often if you spent as much time with your wife as you do with your porn. I am in the opposite situation. My husband is the one that spends too much time with porn, and not enough time on us or his own issues of WHY he is so into porn.

Answer 8

The thing is...as a husband, you should WANT to please your wife. Her comfort should be more important to you than looking at something that makes her feel uncomfortable and ugly. Come on now! You DO have a problem or you wouldn't do something that hurts the person you love the most.

Answer 9

The thing is...as a husband, you should WANT to please your wife (AND YOUR WIFE SHOULD WANT TO PLEASE YOU). Her comfort should be more important to you than looking at something that makes her feel uncomfortable and ugly. (AND YOUR COMFORT SHOULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN HER NOT HAVING SEX WHEN YOU WANT IT) Come on now! (YEAH) You DO have a problem (OR DOES SHE) or you wouldn't do something that hurts the person you love the most (AND SHE SHOULD BE GIVING YOU THE SEX YOU WANT).

At this point I would like to tell the author of the original argument sorry. If you can't flip the argument its biased and unfair.

Answer 10

Look at it this way, porn is a multi-billion dollar industy, and if it was not for people like us we would put hundreds of thousands of people out of work. I don't know about you, but I do not want to be responsable for putting those fine men and woman out of work. You are doing your part as a true american; keep up the good work!