my husband is certified as a full blown alcoholic, hospitals and our whole family were involved. he refuses to continue to get help or stop drinking. so therefore i have given up on us including on whether or not he calls other women. so 2 nights ago he tells me he wants to finally be truthful with me and tells me that over a year ago he met a woman and fell for her and wants to continue to be her "friend" and doesn't want to hide her anymore from me. i care and at the same time i don't care. i see it as maybe this woman can help him somehow. maybe she'll enjoy dealing with a drunk 24/7, 365 days a year. i can use the break from him. he has drained me. i thank God we don't have kids. i see no sign of him stopping, or showing remorse, nor an apology for the stealing or lying or anything like that. how do i dump this mess (my husband) on this woman "his friend" without feeling guilty about not warning her? i just want to stop worrying about him and worry more about me.
2006-10-17 12:17:05 · 11 answers · asked by non-curious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i wouldn't say a word, i would just be happy he found someone else, she wouldn't believe you anyway. they deserve eachother, be lucky you have no children that could tie you together. consider this a gift and a way out of a bad situation.
2006-10-17 12:24:16 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No need to feel guilty. I'm sure she knows what she is getting herself into. Let him go to her. You will be free of his drinking problem. I wouldn't say that if he agreed to get help. But he has refused. By refusing, then he has to live with the consequences of loosing you and a whole lot more. Your right, you can't help him. No one can. He has to make the decision to quit drinking and stick with it. It may take more time, but one day, he will realize his life is sh*t because of the drinking. My mother, father, 3 brothers, one sister, two of my sons, all alcholics. It's heartbreaking, I know. But what I have learned is that you can't help anyone who doesn't want to help themselves. And you can't enable them to continue the lifestyle they want to live. I feel for you, I really do. You will continue to worry about him, but you just have to let him go and live the life he has chosen. Sorry, but it's true. Bless you.....
2006-10-17 20:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to be with her, let him. He's dumping himself. He probably already realizes he's reached the end of your rope, or you've reached yours with his, so it probably wasn't that hard for him to disclose the relationship. It's not like you had a baby and left it on a stranger's doorstep. He's a grown man capable of making his own mistakes over and over and over, so kick him to the curb! If he goes to her, great, but at least he's not draining you anymore. Sometimes you have to push people away for them to get better.
2006-10-17 19:24:13 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you don't owe her anything. if she is his "friend" she probably knows about his problem especially if he drinks 24/7. he probably smells really bad all the time. give yourself a pad on the back for putting up with it as long as you have and let him get on out of there!! good luck and congrats. it's not easy to get rid of a drunken husband. trust me - i know. oh, and yes, it is a good thing you don't have kids. :)
2006-10-17 19:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why should you feel guilty? she wanted him and now she can have him. I'm sure she knew he was married. Did she feel guilty? and if you try to warn her she will think that you just want to scare her off. just leave it alone. she will learn her lesson about messing with married men
2006-10-17 19:28:13 · answer #5 · answered by krystal s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you care ANYTHING about how she is? She HAS been cheating with your husband. Even if he's no prize, or even if he's totally useless, she is scum, cuz she's been playing with a married man. Let hubby go to her, and you, file for divorce, and build a new life for yourself.
2006-10-17 19:33:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Please why should you feel guilty
she probably know that he is married but still be with him
move him the only thing you have to say to her if you ever met her is THANK YOU
if she ask why just say for my freedon
Personally I would help him move in with her
2006-10-17 19:21:58 · answer #7 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Screw her. She knew he was married and chose to spread her legs for him anyway. Whyever would you want to "warn" her?. I'd wrap him up in a big, red, fu*king ribbon, put a bottle of bourbon in his hand and kick him out of the car in front of her place doing 50.
If you truly want to dump your trash...do it with no regrets huh?
2006-10-17 19:24:28 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wonder do this female know he has a wife already? I say do what is going to benefit you at this point you have tried and tried. Leave him. Good luck
2006-10-17 19:25:00 · answer #9 · answered by fiestylady 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dump his drunk a_ss an have a happy life! you have put up with enough!
2006-10-17 20:07:17 · answer #10 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋