I am a bit depressed and question myself alot any advice?
2006-10-17 11:42:42 · 28 answers · asked by liyah's mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Realize this -- YOU had the STRENGTH and SELF-ESTEEM to LEAVE this abusive marriage -- so it is A JOY and you should NOT be depressed.
That you did so on your own is REMARKABLE!
2006-10-17 11:52:12 · answer #1 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, to start with you should be PROUD of yourself for loving yourself enough to save your life and end the abusive marriage. Of course you doubt yourself right now because one of the most important decisions one makes in life - who to choose as a marriage partner - you chose unwisely. But you know what? That' s the PAST! Let it go! Just drop it and walk toward a bright new future. Don't try to find a man to give you your self-esteem back. If you get it that way it's not real. The only person who can truly help you right now is God. Pray and ask Him for strength. I'm sure you feel lost right now. Ask Him for direction in your life. Find a good church and you will find an instant support group. You will meet new friends and possibly even your soulmate.
God bless you honey! I'm proud of you for taking back your life. Now give it to God and you will find fulfillment.
2006-10-17 19:00:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do some stuff that will help you feel better. Changing your look or splurging for something nice for yourself is good. Do stuff you normally would not have done under your abusive husband's nose. Be social with friends and enjoy being single again. It's a long way back, but the best way out depression is to be active. In fact, exercise/activity is proven to reduce depression. Good luck to you!
2006-10-17 18:55:03 · answer #3 · answered by drbuns 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, CONGRATULATIONS! You have come along way. If you were in an abusive relationship, that in itself will take away your self esteem. It happened over time and you will heal over time. I suggest a support group that you can get together with other women. I work for a domestic violence agency. Our group is called Beyond the Crisis. Beyond the hurt. Look to healing. Remember that the abuse was done to you not something you did nor deserved.
Take a deep breath! Take care of yourself. If it mean a manicure, give yourself one. Get a cup of tea. Enjoy having that relationship behind you.
You are a strong woman, you are a survivor of domestic violence! You go girl!
2006-10-17 18:49:01 · answer #4 · answered by Yoda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pray. You surround yourself with positive people. You go to the gym, and get physically active. You go to the doctor and get some Wellbutrin or some other type of antidepressant. You allow yourself to grieve and heal.
Give yourself time to go through it. Some days will be better than others. Some days you may even find yourself missing a part of him or of the marriage. Not really the marriage itself.....but of your WISHES AND DREAMS of what it could have, should have, and would have been....had it not been what it actually was.
I know because I am at the end stages of that very thing right now. Make loving your little one/ little ones a priority.....and now, make yourself a priority TOO.
Time and patience Liyah's mommy, time and patience.
2006-10-17 18:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Liyahs mom Its seems to me that if you were not the aggressor in your last relationship then you are the VICTIM you have no reason to feel low or unworthy of any man.
Your ex took from you what no person has the right your dignity and pride so sweet lady lift your chin look to the brighter days ahead and know that you are deserved of better things and that there is a guy out there that deserves a woman as good as you can be . being depressed is just being uncertain so be strong and enjoy your life
2006-10-17 19:26:08 · answer #6 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't lost your self esteem! It's there but it is dragging!
You need to put some balls on and never allow some SOB to abuse your dignity, pride, values and body!
Know you are worth more than the weak MOFO to ever have abused you!
I am a man and I would never (well only a case of direct physical threat) lay an emotional, spiritual or flesh and blood hand on any woman. I venerate the ground you walk on for you give us warmth, earth, strength and quench our thirsts and desires!
Rey
2006-10-17 18:54:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yal , it is called a counselor...they have med. too for depression. and soon all the self esteem will come back. especially when she will have more time than we will have here to spend with you. don't let a man tear you down like this , he would love knowing how you are feeling. so get angry that he did you the way he did you. promise yourself a few things , like never letting another man abuse you ever again.
2006-10-17 18:45:21 · answer #8 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its going to take time but tell your self I am beautiful smart and will find soeone who loves me and will treat me like I am the center of their universe. I am sorry that you went through this but I assume you got out of this marriage and that is a big step. Now you just have to slowly take back your life find a professional if you must or a trusting friend,family member. You along with millions of other women dont deserve to be abused he messed this up not you I am just glad your out and fine. Dont let this piece of slime take away your life live it they way you want to happiness is waiting for you.
2006-10-17 19:12:48 · answer #9 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and I would suggest therapy. After I broke free of my abusive relationship I took a year off from dating and went into therapy to see why I kept dating the same kind of men. It helped a lot. I would also suggest doing things to take care of yourself. Spoil yourself a bit. You deserve it! There's no reason not to.
2006-10-17 18:48:47 · answer #10 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋