I got married and came to US. My husband came after 5 months. I used to call my husband everyday. But he never called me coz of the money problem. but last month i met a guy and we started dating. Now my husband is here. sometimes he (my husband) is so nice to me and he tries to make me happy. sometimes he is so mean and make my life miserable. he is a nice person but not a good husband. i tried but nothing is working. we fight a lot. but still when i meet my boyfriend i feel bad. what should I do? I can't tell my parents that i want divorce. My husband will kill me or himself if i talk about divorce. I am so sad and unhappy with my life. Please help me.
Thanks
2006-10-17 11:27:06 · 13 answers · asked by Amy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you serious about him killing you or himself? If you are you need to leave ASAP. And you need to leave without telling him you are leaving him.
If you are just sad and unhappy and he is mean to you then I think you should still leave. He sounds abusive.
2006-10-17 12:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by Morley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop and ask yourself: Why did I get a boyfriend in the first place if i were married? Do you think you are probably overexaggerating problem because you have a fallback boy? Do these guys know about one another? How would you feel he had a fallback girl? Are you separated? What are you doing with these guys? Is your husband abusive? Do you love him? Well, you have to love him because you're asking questions about staying with him. Who is this other guy? Is he really worth leaving your husband for? If he is, how can you be sure. Not to sound like a stick in the mud...without knowing the full story it sounds as if you are looking to justify your actions. Stay with your husband work things out. The only thing you have done is introduced a third party to an inclusive party. You're going to find everything wrong with your husband because there is a new "player" on the block but as soon as he gets comfortable you will be running back home. Get your house in order...First take out the trash. Re-organize the furniture and enjoy the sweet reward of the love you had when you said "I Do".
2006-10-17 11:41:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anoited 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Amy, you have at least 4 situations to deal with. First of all you made a commitment to the man you married--for now you should stay with the marriage and try to get some counselling--this will take time..
Next, you are new to the U.S. and should give yourself time to get to know about living in the U. S. Get out and look around more, read newspapers and go to public buildings and research resources.
Third is the boyfriend, you do not ave time or space in your life for this, do him a favour and stop seeing him. You do not have the time attitude or health for this and you may be, without realizing it, just be using him instead of dealing with your other problems.
You are from the sounds of things suffering from a 'medical' depression. You should see a doctor or therapist and start helping yourself get better.
Maybe...you can tell your parents that you need medical help and they can help you see a 'U. S.' doctor??
You have a lot to deal with and wish you well.
2006-10-17 11:40:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop seeing the boyfriend, you're married. Take some time away from boyfriend and husband to sort out what you want. You don't have to talk divorce or separation with your husband just ask for a break to clear your head. Tell him how you feel, tell him you are sad and have to take sometime away to find out why. As far as your parents are concerned, you're married, once you're a wife you don't have to answer to them.. so what you're thinking divorce, you may have made a mistake, they'll get over it. Your husband should understand if you are honest with him and talk to him. Communication is very very important. Hope this helps. good luck
2006-10-17 11:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by odessa2469 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
comparing to ur husband u got good opinions about this new guy. do u know Y? bcoz u meet him occasionally and both of u dont have any responisibility on each other. If U get divorce and live with this new guy for 2-3 months U will be in the same position.
my advice is if u like this new guy very much have sex with him and dont meet him again forget him and search for the good things in ur husband
if can do it without having sex with this new guy then it is very good. But It is very hard to do very good things
2006-10-17 11:46:53 · answer #5 · answered by abcdefg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELLO!!!!!! You're married and you got yourself a boyfriend? What were you thinking???? It sounds like your problems started when you found this boyfriend.
Lose the BUM Boyfriend!!! Work on your marriage and try to make it work! When you got married it was your husband standing there - NOT your boyfriend!!!
You're creating your own problems.
Think about the consequences of "what could happen" - then ask yourself - "Is this what I want?"
Good luck and may God be with all of you,
Wiseguy
2006-10-17 11:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by Wiseguy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're miserable, you need to let your husband know how you feel and ask him what he plans to do to try and make it better. Don't suggest a divorce unless he's not willing to compromise your feelings, let him know that you can't live the rest of your life that way - that it's not fair to either of you.
2006-10-17 11:37:30 · answer #7 · answered by ฿└ΛÇκ ĦΘŁỀ ŞЏП 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should your husband find out about the boyfriend, how bad will it be? You have to make some difficult decisions.
2006-10-17 11:31:27 · answer #8 · answered by jack w 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant decide this for you but you need to end your marriage if your unhappy. And if your married why do you have a boyfriend? Dont stay in this marriage.
2006-10-17 11:37:30 · answer #9 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question I have is; did you marry him just to come to the U.S.? If that is the reason, then you should go back to the country that you are from.
If you truly loved him, then you should try to work it out.
2006-10-17 11:55:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋