Is it better to have a father whom is in and out of your life, in and out of jail, has a psyco family ect or to have none of that drama at all???
2006-10-17 11:16:38 · 43 answers · asked by liyah's mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, when u have a bad father u have a bad gronw model, when u don't have any u don't a gronw model so, u just choose how u want to b easier.
2006-10-17 11:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
At first I thought this was a tough call, as my children's father died when they were very young. They are adults now, and for the most part pretty good people. But there were times while they were growing up, it would have been much better if their dad had been here for them.
Then again, a dad that is alive but not there for them, in jail, and generally just a very bad influence on them is not what I would call Father of the Year material.
So I have to agree with the rest....None at all.
2006-10-17 11:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would think its better to have no drama at all my dad wasnt in my life until I turned 17 and I havent seen him since then so I guess he still isnt in my life but anyways he was in jail and out of jail my whole life and had a what I would call psyco family but im glad my moma could be all that she was for me and my sister she is a great mom but now that I am a married women I want to do everything I can to make sure my children have a great dad and most importantly a greater heavenly father! : )
2006-10-17 11:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by Lauren D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It would depend on who is doing the deciding if he's bad. Are you the mother of the child or the child? If you are the mother then your point of view may be tainted as to the character of the father, if he wants to be around the child you should let him. Who is to say he ins't a good father just because you may not like him? If you are a younger child, maybe there are things about your father that you don't know or understand yet or perhaps you point of view is tainted by a mother telling you that your father is a no good loser. If you are the adult child of this type of father, then you would have to choose if it's worth it to have a person like this in your life. Your question is kind of vague.
2006-10-17 11:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by dlobryan1 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I could not honestly say that no father is better because its not. Its better to let the child know both parents and then grow to know them their own way and decide on the rest.
No matter how you look at it there will always be drama because of the child. Just protect the child as best you can and let it grow and decide if it likes the father or not.
2006-10-17 11:24:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My father is an alcoholic, abused us verbally and physicallyand was unfaithful yet there were those odd occassions that he did stuff for me that I still remember. At the time i wished him dead, then last year he suffered a heart attack and i realised that I would actually miss him. For some warped reason i still believe that I care for him cause he did make some sacrifices for his children. To answer your question if he is in and out but make meaningful contriubtution while he's in then i guess yes its worth it.
2006-10-17 15:23:49 · answer #6 · answered by always angry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny because I am of the belief that none at all is best if the only other option is severe dysfunction. BUT......I think the kids see it differently.
I'll tell you something though......if that relationship will hurt my child more than help or build them up.............I will keep them from it, and accept that I may have to answer to them for it when they get old enough to understand it. But by then, if they are the good, solid people I am raising them to be..........then though they may be unhappy about it a little......I think they will understand. And undoubtedly they will be strong enough to see through the BS, and take from any relationship they have with him what THEY want.
2006-10-17 11:51:30 · answer #7 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I must say from personal experience with a father who was in my life but a jerk that i'm beginning to think it may be better to have no father at all in it.Atleast he can't make you feel any worse since he's not there to do anymore harm to you.
2006-10-18 07:23:06 · answer #8 · answered by serenity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats easy no father at all. You dont need to be around that kind of lifestyle and sometimes it means walking away from your family. I dont have the same situation but I was adopted and didnt have a vey good upbringing but I didnt let that stop me from being a good wife and mother. So if you must stop all contact from him do it and live a happy life if I can you can to.
2006-10-17 11:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know father's like that are in and out. They are nothing but trouble and anguish. I would rather have no father. A person can get male bonding from another male member of the family that will care more about you than themselves
2006-10-17 11:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its better to have NONE at all. At least you wouldnt go through the pain of hating your bad father (or mother) .
Hatred is a strong feeling and it gives the person (who is hating) an unnecessary burden in the heart. Too much hatred can drive you psycho...
So no father means NOTHING to hate.
2006-10-17 11:19:31 · answer #11 · answered by CL 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋