My sister has convinced herself that she does not need to marry her b/f of 10 years. They have 2 children, buying their first home (he is , she is going on as a co-buyer). While her b/f has climed the career ladder she has been in the background w/ kids, housework, and working PT as a bar tender hoping and struggling to be able to one day attend community college to do something for her self which he is not very supportive of. She is convinced if he was to die/ leave she would be able to mantain the lifestyle she has. My sister's fiancee drives a 06 jeep commander, makes 50-60K yr, has freedom to do as he pleases, and has health insurance. My sister has no ins nor do the children and the fiancee can't put them on b/c she used state aid and no paternity papers were signed. My sis assumes I am jealous and no nothing but I am only a single parent of three, I know first hand of the mistakes she is making. Why are women in this position so ignorant and cheating themselves?
2006-10-17 11:16:30 · 4 answers · asked by nene 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1) Inheritance. Right now, if he has no will, she gets squat of any estate he may have when he dies. The kids become the sole beneficiaries (assuming he claimed them - if not, his parents and siblings get all his assets).
2) Survivor's benefits (as in pension). In the event he dies, if his work has some sort of "pension" system, she has no stake unless they are married.
3) Social Security Benefits : As she is not legally his spouse, she will get nothing when, in 60 years, he dies of old age.
4) Alimony - she gets nada if he decides to walk out tomorrow.
5) She'd better name him as the father of the children as soon as possible, and get any "penalties" she may face because she didn't when they were born out of the way now - before he decides that the blonde down the street is looking a lot younger, and less of a hassle, than this woman with two kids he has no legal ties to.
I read an article on-line about a long-term couple who had decided against getting married, only to have one of them die in the 9/11 attacks. She gets no benefits, no payout, no nothing for herself, and has to clear every expenditure her kids make out of the survivor's trust fund.
2006-10-17 11:27:39 · answer #1 · answered by jbtascam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely LOVE being married. I think that being married SHOULD be a more meaningful thing than just living together. I believe it takes a bigger commitment to get married. Marriage SHOULD be a sacred institution, and not something you do on a whim, and then get a divorce. Marriage is something very serious.... and to say that 'what if your spouse just decides they fell out of love with you or something'... the whole POINT of marriage is that you've made a commitment to STAY with that person until death do you part! You are supposed to do everything in your power to make things work... not just quit when the going gets tough. Marriage is a very wonderful thing, and for those who can't make it work... I'm sorry, but maybe they didn't try hard enough? When you go into a marriage thinking it's 'expendible', then of course there's a chance it won't work out! That's why in the old days, men and women didn't 'date' each other, they went out in groups and got to know each other as friends and 'courted' a while before getting engaged, then got married, then had a family. When you do it that way, you're almost certain to have something that will last. My husband and I have been married over 10 years, and people sometimes think we are newlyweds! We leave each other little notes, and hold hands, and cuddle, and act silly together. I know in my heart that it just wouldn't be the same if we were just 'living together'. Having said that.... it doesn't make a couple 'living together' any less of a real family. I do believe that two people can live together and love each other the same way a married couple can. I just happen to think marriage is better.
2016-05-21 21:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he has not signed paternity papers, if he dies or leaves her, she and the kids get nothing. She should have married him or forced him to sign paternity papers, or leave a will naming her and the kids clearly as his heirs or she gets nothing. In fact if he won't give her a share in his wealth she should leave now, start school and start planning a future without him.
2006-10-17 11:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by stick man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is a fool. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but it is reality. The only thing you can do is be there when she falls....and I am sure she will. The jerk has absolutely no reason to be responsible, she has allowed him to be irresponsible.
2006-10-17 11:29:17 · answer #4 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋