We live abroad and my husband likes his job here and our daughter and I hate it and are ready to move back to the states. Our kids are teenagers and both actually would like to move back My husband says he wants to keep his job here in Asia and just come to the states to visit at Christmas and in the summers. I can understand that he wants a good job, but it seems to me he is throwing away his whole family for a job. Our marriage has never been very good, but we do have some fun together and I think it's important to try to save the marriage if possible. I think this living apart will ruin it because he's an extrovert and will end up with someone and our whole family will be destroyed. That's my fear. Thoughts? Ideas?
2006-10-17 10:58:28 · 10 answers · asked by outtahere 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are correct! If you come back to the U.S. without your hubby, you are also coming back without your marriage. But if you and your children are truly unhappy where you live, then it might be the best thing for you and your kids. You say your marriage isn't great, but is salvagable. But does your husband feel the same way? You can't save a marriage alone....he has to be willing to put forth the effort too. And it doesn't sound as if he cares enough to do that. Just based on his not wanting to leave his job, and come home with you and your kids.
Sorry, but I think you are in this alone already.
2006-10-17 11:03:28 · answer #1 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to realize that the most important thing is family. He can always find a job here in the states that suits his profession. I think he is being greedy if he chooses a job over his family. This may be his way of saying that it is time to part ways if he already knows how you feel about staying. He may be the type that wants YOU to make that decision so it doesnt weigh heavy on him for breaking up a family. Are your children his biological children? If so, he has got alot of nerve putting a job before his wife and children. How long have you been is Asia? Have you seriously sat down with him and let him know how you truely feel? I would sit down and weigh out your options. (Pro's & Con's type of thing). If you have more reasons to stay, then concider staying atleast for another year or two. Then again, if you have more reasons to come back to the states give him an altimatum; either he comes with you and the children or he stays there with out you and the children and he is left all alone. You should also keep in mind that if you are the one who actually leaves the country with the children then he CAN file abandonment charges as a reason to file for a divorce. If it comes down to this you might want to think of ways that you can get him to TELL YOU to leave and be sure he purchases the flight tickets in his name and you get a copy of the reciepts that show he paid for your move. "I know, it sounds as if I've done this before, doesn't it?" (I HAVEN'T, I just watch a lot of court shows on television).
I hope all goes well for you, and PLEASE KEEP US POSTED!!!
2006-10-17 11:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by Help Me Help You 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children & you want to move back to the US
fine, do you want your husband to move with you and after regret it when he could not get a good job
that will destroid your marriage
If I were you I would at least give him a chance to look for a job in the US while we are still in Asia
once he get one then we move
he deserve to be happy as much as you & your daugther do
2006-10-17 11:05:05 · answer #3 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your concerns. Do it alone first, then have a "family meeting" so that you and your children can all voice your opinions to him. Don't be rude, just politely tell him that you can't stay "here" for much longer. Also, when you get back to the states, you may want to have marriage conselling. Good luck!
2006-10-17 11:01:39 · answer #4 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance romances very seldom work out, you get to lonely.
It sound kinda fishy to me,why he wants to keep job in Asia and you move back. If it works out, you are one in a hundred million.
2006-10-17 11:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to put in for a transfer for personal
reasons. Give him all the love that you can while you are together. If you don't someone, else will! Good luck.
2006-10-17 11:02:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In california ill take even longer than the mandatory 6 months so you might wanna try filing in another state.
2016-03-28 13:20:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try this: take your kids and move back. If your husband wants his family, he'll move back with you.
2006-10-17 11:03:57 · answer #8 · answered by robertspraguejr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry
2006-10-17 11:00:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeh why not
2006-10-17 11:00:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋