My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years as of October 19th. He's the love of my life. I want to marry him/or ask him to marry me? We just got an apartment together and are making a step forward in our relationship. I recently found out that he was texting this girl and they weren't innocent text messages. I confronted the girl if she knew that he had a girlfriend of 3 years and she said no. She said she would stop texting him and calling him but it still has yet to stop. He says he loves me, that I'm the only person right for him and that he wants our relationship to last and would want to marry me. He swears on everything that he just met this chick in a chat room and they haven't met face to face and wont meet face to face. I found him on a dating site saying he is just looking for "cybersex" and stuff like that but he denies it to me. Should I be worried? Is he lying to me? I don't know what to do. Should I believe him and work at our relationship and get engaged to him?
2006-10-17 10:41:43 · 15 answers · asked by Wondering 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I also have this girl's phone number. Her # is 602-398-9878. Her name is roxy and she says she is 20 years old. Should I confront her again and risk a huge fight between me and my boyfriend? What should I do when it comes to this girl because she is as much at fault as him now because she knows that i am his live in girlfriend of 3 years and she still continues to call and text him? How could I tell her that she needs to stop without it coming back on me. I was nice when I confronted her last time and she told my bf I called her yelling and screaming that I was gonna "kill her". I didn't want any drama just everything to stop.
2006-10-17 11:28:07 · update #1
i believe that he is telling you the truth about loving you. but it is apparent that he isn't getting something out of your relationship that is causing him to seek out these other things. talk to him and find out what it is that he is missing or that you haven't been giving him. commuication is the key to any successful relationship...good luck
2006-10-17 10:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you continue this relationship your are willingly asking for more of the same. So don't complain later, when you have kids and there is no good way out! It doesn't matter what he says, look at what he did - it pretty much speaks for itself. I am sorry this happened to you after you invested 3 years, but if you stay it will happen again when you have invested 10 years, and again when you have invested 20...and you will look back and wish you got out after just 3, when you were still young. No matter what age you are, "there are other fish in the sea" sounds like just a cliche', but it is not! It is true! Put him behind you and start shopping for someone with the good qualities you liked in this guy, but without the lying and sneaking around. He might take awhile to find but he is out there...and easier to find now than later when you are divorced with a couple of kids.
re your "more details": who cares if she is to blame, you are not involved with her. If she did not exist there would be another one like her. If you focus on, "she is as much to blame as him", you will replace your anger at him onto her, and he will get away with it. Then next time, if you haven't wised up yet, it will be another girl and you will waste your time being angry with that one. There is always a girl out there, for a cheating man to find. what you need is a man without a cheating heart.
2006-10-17 17:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well lolson...first of all it's great that u understood ur relatiionship well..and u mentioned that " he said he loves you " and u also mentioned u love him too...now..can u figure it out is he really in love with u...and can u comprehend all these 3 years ..how he spend with u and what kind of person he is...i think u can easily figure it out if he is flirting with u....if he is so...i don't think u would have relaltionship of 2 dasy less 3 years...
regarding getting married....make sure he has feelings for u...confirm it...ask him seriously.....if u find it that he also want to get married...that's fine...and trust him....
regarding "cybersex" forget it. some people might be looking for various kinds of sex...may be he likes cybersex.....
if u both gonna get involved in a seious relationship such as marriage u can get him out of that....
but don't take ny hasty decisions..don't spoil ur age old relationship...
remember
"Kill the snake with out breaking the stick"
gud luck and cheers...
2006-10-17 17:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by nari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl listen to your womans intuition thats what its for but just in case its clouded by your love for him listen to me. First nothing is innocent about that situation something in your relationship is missing if he is texting other girls first find out what that is. Next if he is looking for cyber sex then your man is freaky and that is what missing. It sounds like he needs a little action ask him if that what he wants to spice it up more. Men do get bored and thats why they cheat. So talk talk talk but just ask straight up questions like is my sex not good enough for you now or Do you want a more freaky woman. If you want make it funny but ask girl this ruins relationships dont get caught up being the other woman. Trust me its no fun more questions my email is open good luck
2006-10-17 17:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't going to solve itself quickly by hounding him about it. It's more than likely just an innocent IM/chat room flirtmance but I have known a few ppl to get very curious about these ppl they seem to connect with online, be carefull, but dont let this run your thoughts, he's been with you for three years for an obvious reason.
2006-10-17 17:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by leprechaun3833 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!
Youve barely moved in together and youve already found out that he is communicating with other women and goes on dating sites. Of course he is lying to you and swearing up and down that its innocent. hes trying to get away with it.
This has disaster written all over it.
2006-10-17 17:45:27 · answer #6 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh!! another grey area - The world of technology we live in has
a lot to anwser to, it really is a matter of trust, also be as sure as you can that he loves you, by the things that he does for you, the way he speaks to you, the general way he treats you.
2006-10-17 17:49:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, work it out but only IF you really like his behavior. His behavior won't change except he may try to hide it better. Would I believe him when he says you're the only one for him? H___ NO. It's preposterous that you can be the only one for him but he doesn't respect you enough to not look for sex online. That's a contradiction in terms.
2006-10-17 17:46:56 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no no!!! read this line!
"I found him on a dating site saying he is just looking for "cybersex" and stuff like that but he denies it to me. Should I be worried?"
yes you should be worried!! the bastard is lying to you!
break up with the dude! but first, take all his cash money and credit and buy stuff...=D
2006-10-17 17:46:09 · answer #9 · answered by togamadness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've just gotten an apartment together and he's doing that stuff it's not a good sign.....take it from a guy....not a good sign at all.
2006-10-17 17:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by bardstale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋