He broke it off with me about 2and a half months ago. We were supposed to get married this year. We have 3 kids together and one on the way. He said he couldn't trust me. Yeah, I have done some stupid stuff in the past and I have grown up a lot since then. He has done some pretty stupid stuff too. There were other variables in the picture that were not helping. We were both doing wrong and I forgave him. I guess he didn't do the same. I know that he still loves me, he told me that he would always love me. He just got a new g/f. How could he move on so fast? What kind of girl would want to take him away from his family? I just feel like we could finally get things right now that we have both stopped doing stupid things. How can I prove that to him? I just need to know what I can do to get him to realize what we have and how stupid he is for letting it go. We have been together for 11 yrs on and off. Please be nice, I am really depressed. I just found out he had a g/f sunday.
2006-10-17 10:32:28 · 5 answers · asked by day dreamin baby 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is really heavy stuff girlfriend, I is going to take time to prove to him that you have changed, but changing for yourself is always the best reason to change. Make sure you haven't made changes in your life, just to "keep " him. Changing for anyone else is NEVER a good thing.
You need to think of your children, and in this case, being the best person you can be will help them through this transition. Many pple will tell you kids are resiliant, but they internalize and being there and available to your children and staying healthy is the best you can do for all of you right now. Consentrate on your pregnancy and your heath and the well being of your children. Learn strategies to boost your esteem, develop a new hobby ( uh do you have time) or expand , rekindle an old one... you need time for you too, but never sacrafice your beliefs and morals to hang onto or find someone else.
Discovering you do not need a man in your life will be the most empowering thing as a woman... we choose to have a man in our lives because we want one, we don't need one. Showing your ex that you are capable of doing things on your own may be the ticket to wining him back. He may need a break as you have said you both have shown that to eachother... and maybe he isn't ready to start again, and you have to prepare yourself that perhaps he may never be ready to start again. Begin to plan your life without him around... but please do not go head first into another relationship with someone else, you need time, and your kids do also.
Take this time to get to know you and your kids... if you start feeling down , write a letter to him, or yourself about things you like and admire about yourself, write a good bye letter to your ex explaining all the reasons why you are not compatible ( you did " Stupid things" for a reason, those reasons don't go away over night...) throw the letter away, or save it.
Perhaps putting old pictures of him, and mementos away would help you heal right now, and bring them out during a time when you are stronger... dwelling on what if's right now is never healthy.
Find a friend, or someone to chat with, on your alone times, try to focus on activities that will not allow you to concentrate on your ex... This all takes time, just take it one day at a time...
God Bless,
Shannon
2006-10-17 10:47:20 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 20:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom used to say that Love, is never having to say you're sorry. i don't know if that's true, but there's something to be said for all the "stupid" stuff the 2 of u did to each other in your time together. obviously he does not feel the relationship can be salvaged. the only thing u can do is express to him how you feel and keep your fingers crossed. it's funny how we never realize what we had until we no longer have it. let that be a lesson for u to follow in the future. think b4 u act.
2006-10-17 10:41:15 · answer #3 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this sounds really bad. If he has a new girl friend he's probably over it. Sorry to say it but it's probably true. Remember he broke up with you for a reason and it doesn't sound like he wants to change that. I'm sorry you're going through this, it must be very hard on you and your children but it sounds like it's not going to change.
2006-10-17 10:36:41 · answer #4 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn, at least take all you can in child support from him. If he's with someone else then it's probably over. Once he realizes he won't have any money left over to take out his new gf after child support, he'll come back to you.
2006-10-17 10:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by Eldude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋