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me and my husband have been married 4 months and have been together for 1 yr 8 mo. I recently found out that he has been seen his x since we have been together. I don't know what to do. When i found out i was ready to go. then he promised he would be good to give him time so that he could show me that he would change let about 2 weeks later i find out that he saw her again that day he left me with dinner and guest. I can't belive it. I have left everything for him i moved to IL from AZ for him and yet he has done this. im afraid that if i stay well i can say it myself he is goin to do it again but i don't know how to just leave WE have a house now, i started school again, new job everthing im so scared and hurt and the worst of all im alone. he was all i have here and then he gose and dose that to me. i don't know what to say to him what to do. I wish i could just tell him and go but i don't know how, ive written many letters but i fail to give them to him. He has done somuch.

2006-10-17 10:25:58 · 8 answers · asked by lost1985 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

8 answers

RUN while you can.

he has shown you what he is all about and he isn't about to change anythime soon.

Go back to AZ and cut your losses. You can go back to school in AZ same as IL.

where were you in school in AZ before you left???

good luck

2006-10-20 06:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0 0

Sometimes life gets really messed up really fast. I feel for you, I really do. I know you are hurt, you don't want him to feel like he can walk all over you. Have you ever asked him why he married you if he is so into this ex of his?
Unfortunately you are in IL away from your family in AZ and you have a house together so it is a little more complicated than pick up and leave. You can try talking to him if you feel it is worth it, or, if you have made any friends where you are know, i would get together with my girls, hang out and discuss this situation, and see if I could possibly stay with them a little while so you can stay in school, keep your new job, and get a divorce if that's what you want.
Are you close enough to your family that you can go back home to AZ? If so, maybe you should leave him with his EX.
But whatever you do, know that this is not your fault and you deserve better than to have a man that is going to,lie to you and run to another woman. Don't make any quick angry decision. Take the time to figure out what is the right move for YOU- screw the rest of us. We only have opinions, you have to live your life.

2006-10-17 17:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by PRL8268 2 · 0 0

He has been untruthful to you from the beginning and I would have the marriage annuled under those pretense. It depends on you the ball is in your court you are in the best position actually. Can you finish school when you go back to AZ without his assistance or do you depent on him financially? If you do I would let him pay the bills and go to school and give him the guilt trip and get everything out of him you can since he chose to do somehting like this to you, because the relationship is already over if you start a relationship on a lie then there is nothing to stand on. It is like building a house on sand. If you can't take it just leave you don't owe him any explanation you have to preserve yourself and try not to give into constant thoughts of how you were done wrong, just how will you do yourself right. You have to think from your head now not your heart.

2006-10-17 17:40:41 · answer #3 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0 0

He either needs to get on board this marriage, or you need to get off the train and head for home. It takes two people to make a marriage work, and one of you is not committed. I'm sorry you are having this kind of trouble so early into your new marriage. Sometimes you just have to realize that you are not in a good relationship and move on. You may always love him, but not all loves are meant to last a lifetime. Maybe it is better that it happened now instead of later on down the road when children are involved. You need to be strong, assertive and ask for what you want...a divorce, so you can find happiness elsewhere with someone who can commit to you. Both of you deserve to be happy, and as long as he is cheating on you you won't find happiness. Take care of you.

2006-10-17 17:37:46 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0 0

Don't worry about writing him a letter. It won't get through his thick head. Make some inquiries, find a place to go, and leave. Before you go, tell him why. Don't leave anything out. Tell him what you have told all of us here -- that you are hurt and disappointed. Sounds like he has too good a woman for the way he treats you. Grab your self respect and chalk it up to experience. Before he decides to use you as a doormat again.

2006-10-17 17:32:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If your name isn't on the house I'd run as fast as I could back t AZ. If your name is one the house, ask him to sign a quick claim deed at the bank, and and let him have it and the payment as go home to AZ.

2006-10-17 17:30:07 · answer #6 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0 0

Go back to where you came from and start your life over. You are in a noncommitted relationship if your new hubby is doing things behind your back. You don't have a marriage right now.

2006-10-17 17:40:27 · answer #7 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0 0

You know what he has done? He has cheated on you. Repeatedly. Pretend you have a daughter and she was in this position, what would you tell her to do? You would tell her to leave his *** in the dust and go back to IL.

2006-10-17 17:28:50 · answer #8 · answered by ~*~Jeni~*~ 3 · 0 0

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