Cry it out?

Question

My son will not take a nap in the afternoon. In the past hour I have rocked him twice and put him down but he wakes up within a few minutes crying. He would sleep all afternoon if I held him but I'm not willing to do that, at least not yet. I know he's tired, he's been up for 3 1/2 hours and is fussy and rubbing his eyes. What do you suggest? Should I let him cry it out and for how long? This has just started happening the past few days. He is 4 months old.

Well while I wrote this question, he was crying... and when I finished it he had stopped(5 min. max)... he's asleep now but who knows for how long! I'd still like suggestions.

Answer 1

I believe in letting them cry it out....I did it with both of my girls....Start off by making sure his diaper is clean...lay him down and check on him every 10 minutes to make sure he is ok. Babies tend to have different crys for different things. Soon you should be able to notice which is the "i'm lonely" cry and the "I'm hurting" cry. Good Luck hun.

Answer 2

I think crying it out is ok when they are older but 4 months is a little young...my thoughts are that if they have to be in a car seat in the car and they are crying and then fall asleep they are learning the same thing as if they are in their crib so it can't be that horrible. but i also feel that sleep should be a pleasant time and they should be nursed or rocked to sleep as long as possible. Assuming she does not have an ear infection, and that happens a lot but will usually cure on its own, try the swing or nursing in your bed b/c he will have his nap and you will not be stuck with him on you all afternoon. Hope this helps good luck

Answer 3

"Cry it out" is extemely cruel. At four months old, your child's only way of communicating is crying. Maybe he's hungry. Maybe he's lonely. Maybe he's frustrated about calling for you and you aren't filling a basic need.

It's weird. We teach our babies how to walk, talk, eat, and the such. Yet when it comes to sleeping, we can be under the impression that it's best to stick them in a crib and let them cry. That only teaches that their communication isn't worthy of an answer.

I fell into the CIO method with my first daughter. With my second, I did tons of research. We coslept for the first 6 months and laid down with her at nap times. Out of my two girls, the youngest is the better sleeper. (Although the oldest has improved a lot.)

I would suggest laying down with him. (You need a break, too!) If you aren't comfortable with him in your bed, make him a nice snuggly area on the floor and grab yourself a pillow and a blanket.

Ferber, the CIO guy, has said recently that he never meant CIO to be practiced on infants. And Babywise? Just say NO.

Answer 4

Most of the literature I have read says that 4 months is too young to be crying it out. It could be gas or something else like that.......Check out the book :
What to expect : the toddler years by Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi Eisenberg Murkoff, Sandee Eisenberg Hathaway. It will help with baby questions from birth through the first year and with your body and relationship questions....it's everything you need to know! The authors have written a whole series of books from pregnancy through all the school years….. they are the best!

Answer 5

When ever my baby had an ear infection I had to sit up rocking her all night for either of us to get any sleep. Then I got an ear infection - Holy Sh**! No wonder she didn't want to lay down. My guess is that your son is having some kind of discomfort when laying down. He may sleep from sheer exhaustion but will probably wake up unhappy and not rested.

Answer 6

Someone recently told me the basics of the Baby Whisperer and it worked well for us. Pick up your baby whenever he cries but put him down as *soon* as he calms down, then rub his tummy (or back of you let him sleep face down) and "shh". This may take some time and requires a lot of patience, but like I said it worked well for us (and really didn't take that long).

Answer 7

at 4 months you shouldnt be letting him cry it out. there is somthing wrong if that baby is crying. His attention span and consciousness of the world around him are getting bigger and thats probably part of why he doesnt want to nap (wait until they are 2 and try to get them to nap OI VEY!) pick him up cuddle him change his diaper and offer breast or bottle, try to rock him to sleep and sing softly to him! COngrats on your baby and it will be fine!

Answer 8

Im against the cry it out esp at 4 monts there might be something else wrong with him like tummy aches. Have you tried laying with him until he falls asleep and easing your way out of the bed?

Answer 9

you will destroy the mental health of your baby if you allow him to scream. you absolutely cannot spoil a baby and do not let yourself be swayed by the legions of women whose guilt at doing just that makes them want to get you to hurt your baby, too.

here's why it's bad - in the first year of life, babies have a huge issue to work on - trust v mistrust. Is the world a reliable place? A baby decides if the world is reliable based on how reliable mommy is. Does mommy come when I cry for her? Yes - the world is great. No? Wow, this world sucks and mommy, whom I love desparately and long for, doesn't care what I want. And, my crying, my only tool, doesn't work to get my needs met. I'm helpless. I can't make things happen.

If that isn't bad enough, another thing is happening. When a baby is away from mommy, his brain floods with stress hormones. He has evolved to be stressed when he's away from mommy - sabre tooth tigers'll get ya..... When his brain floods with stress hormones, learning is impaired and he is put at greater risk of depression and anxiety disorders.

Let your baby nurse to sleep in your bed. That's ideal. That's how we evolved. That's what he really needs (No pillows near him, no heavy blankets near him.) Anything from there on down that you can give, keep in mind that it hurts him to be away from mommy (this includes day care, which is also extremely damaging), it scares him to be away from mommy, when his cries bring no relief he learns that the world is unreliable, mommy doesn't care, and he is powerless to help himself.

THEY DON'T STOP CRYING BECAUSE THEY LEARN TO PUT THEMSELVES TO SLEEP - THEY STOP CRYING BECAUSE THEY GIVE UP.

Answer 10

4 months old...my daughter is 9months old and i remember a few months ago that when she has a change in sleeping pattern, she is usually in pain from gas or teething... ...dont pick him up if you dont want to but rub his back...he is only four months so try holding him for about 10min in the same position that you are going to lay him in the bed...rub his back and see if he will pass gas.. ...then, slowly lay him in the same position in his bed.. ...good luck...i remember those days... ...(p.s. check to see if he is hungry) even if he already ate..he is a growing baby.

Answer 11

Crying it out just stresses you and your baby out. It doesn't make babies secure or good sleepers and is the old fashioned way of sleep training. I never let my babies cry it out and they are all terrific sleepers.
Disadvantages of crying it out:

Involves a few nights of let-baby-cry-it-out
Risks baby losing trust
Seldom works for high-need babies with persistent personalities
Overlooks medical reasons for nightwaking
Risks parents becoming less sensitive to baby's cries