This has just happened to a friend of mine I think she is too shocked to react.
2006-10-17 10:09:26 · 37 answers · asked by Candy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my heart goes out to your freind it wiil proably take mths if not years to get over this
my sister is still strugling 18 mths ago
nothing prepares you for the shock
she initially wanted to kill him but now shes carlmed down she is begining to undrestand but it does thake time
2006-10-17 21:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by veronica 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This sort of thing happens all the time. I believe its b/c people who are gay are afraid of what society will think of them so they try to live their lives as a hetero. Unfortunately their true self will eventually come through and usually by this time a family has been started. The best thing a spouse can do, as much as it would hurt them, is be supportive. Its hard for both individuals, but the only thing they can do is accept it and move on. My mother in law actually was married to a gay man once and was oblivious to his sexuality. Of course he wasn't trying to keep it a secret to society, he was using her for her money. Anyway, just tell your friend if the guy is a good guy in general, i.e. isn't abusive emotionally or physically, takes care of things it'd be a lot easier to not burn a bridge. Hope this helps.
2006-10-17 10:20:48 · answer #2 · answered by KrisKarson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy to give advice but difficult to live through! How would you react if your spouse was having an affair or just didn't want to be married? It's no different. There is nothing that she did that was her fault in any way; she simply married a man in denial.
The only way to cope with anything is to put on your practical hat. Your friend and her husband must decide whether they will remain legally married as "friends" out of convenience and financial necessity or whether they will separate and divorce.
2006-10-17 10:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by kramerdnewf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend has just come out of the closet, he was in a female relationship for 4 year, they are now best friends after the shock...
I say well at least it wasn't a women how bad would that be...
He has done a VERY brave thing being honest and truthful with her...
Be suppotive to them BOTH, he cant help being gay, its the pressure of our socialty which makes us act and behave how people want instead of how we feel....
I feel very sorry for her, but tell her to be positive and at least now she can find a man whom truly loves her for her and will make her happy forever...
And not to be too hard on him , he has done the right thing she will see that soon ....
There will be light at the end of the tunnel
Wish her good luck bless
2006-10-18 00:18:44 · answer #4 · answered by loulou777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is happening so much today these gay men are so afraid to come out so they marry and ruin the lifes of their wife and children..I feel so sad for her but she needs to get out of the marriage he will say he loves her but what he really loves is men and tell her not to waste her time trying to change him because it does not work..gay men should be with gay men and leave these poor women alone
2006-10-17 10:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shock is good. It is a defensive tactic of life.
A lot of questions need to be asked:
a) Is he practicing sex as a gay? Safe sex? Does she need to be tested?
b) Who else knows or needs to know children/parents/co-workers?
c) Are they to remain friends?
d) How are they to explain their separation/divorce to friends?
This happened to long married friends of ours also. The initial still friends faded into a divorce. The lifestyles proved too different. Your friend is probably going through stages of grief. Please be there for her.
2006-10-17 10:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This won't make her feel any better but..... sexuality is a very complicated issue... there is confusion, and denial etc. It takes honesty with a spouse and with the person himself before the healing can begin... she will hurt and be confused... but in the long run she will be much happier with a new love... It will just take time to heal
2006-10-17 10:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would cope apart. These men kill me alot of them know that there gay and still want to engage in a heterosexual relationship with a women when really they want to be with another man.
2006-10-17 10:12:48 · answer #8 · answered by Ellen J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my mum. She left my dad for some guy, after 10 unhappy years he finally confessed he was gay and 3 months later she was killed in a car crash and never had a chance to make a better life for herself. Life is so precious. sorry for your friend.
2006-10-17 21:44:18 · answer #9 · answered by good tree 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess I would go out and party with him. Hopefully he would not like the same guys as me!
I have many gay friends and they are pretty fun to hang out with.
It is not your friends fault and maybe they can remain friends after the hurt wears off.
2006-10-17 10:13:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be really shocked too!!!
I would have a lot of questions to ask him!
But is it better that a man leaves his wife for a man, or for another woman?
2006-10-17 10:13:39 · answer #11 · answered by babs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋