My Boyfriend's X gets a disgusting amount of money from him and He pays for xtras like intrsuments,gymnastics,etc..that doesn't bother me the thing is all she has to do is say it's for the kids and He does it when he damn well knows it's not!! He gets mad and I get upset for him but mad that He won't tell her no ever!!She had breast cancer a few years ago and is fine now but pulls a guilt trip on him to get what she wants? It even works on me- Need advice or comments to help deal with this- haven't been able to vent w/out feeling bad about it-Help!!
2006-10-17 09:50:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think your boyfriend needs to stop being a wet blanket or your relationship won't last or will any other as his partner is in control. I think your partner needs to pay her each month what she normally gets and thats it,and buy things for his kids when he see's them and make it clear to her that. And if she tries to block access she can't as he has rights to see his kids. She's just getting at him as there apart and why should she pay for stuff when he can put his hand in his pocket. You want to stop this now or it will go on forever.
2006-10-17 10:09:27 · answer #1 · answered by sez75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that you can do about it. He cares for his kids and that's a good thing. Would you rather be with a man that abandons his kids and don;t give a rat's butt about them?
Don't be selfish. You see it as just money, but it's for the kids. Kids are expensive you know. You have to come to grips that their mother will always be part of your bf life and there is nothing you can do about that.
A child support settlement would be a better arrangement. If the child supoprt agreement is old, kids grow and child support cover only necesities, not extras. Defenilty he is a good father and wants his kids to have what other kids have too.
Be kind and generous. If it was for your own kids...wouldn;t you want for them the best too?
Good luck
2006-10-17 10:09:49 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She already knows what she is doing,but wont stop doing it until someone tells her to stop,you and your man need to talk to her about it.She should not interfere in your relationship and she is doing it,she knows she is.Talk to your boyfriend first and agree on the things you two should be doing about it,then do as you said and if she has any complaints,talk to her ,she may not wanna hear it but I bet she knows this was gonna happen sooner or later.My advice to you is,agree on everything between you too,then let her understand where her place is.
2006-10-17 10:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL I AM IN THE SAME POSITION,UNFORTUNATELY when you get involved with someone who has previously got children the heart ache and constant bittering will never end,not unless he makes the decision to move away and only pay maintenance and not give her any contact details only a phone number when children want to speak to him,he needs to put his foot down,try to get custody of his children that will get rid of her in a big way she will only have acess visits and phone contact that is is
2006-10-17 15:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by treatau 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a toughie. she does sound like she is getting everything her way. prayers are with you. just talk to him and try to get him to understand your feelings, and that he does need to start paying for the kids in person. and start getting receipts.
2006-10-17 10:13:13 · answer #5 · answered by dragonsclaw27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be firm with people like that. Let her know she is overly controlling and demanding and it is hurting your relationship with your boyfriend.
2006-10-17 09:54:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you willing to have this woman in the middle of your relationship with him?
She is not the problem.
HE is.
In short, he has not put his foot down with her.
If he will not put his foot down with her, he will not put his foot down in other areas of his/your lives.
Tell him this:::
'Either you put your foot down with her and stop this madness, or I am gone'.
See what he does.
Do what you have stated.
2006-10-19 12:08:54 · answer #7 · answered by NC_Pianist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats why God said until death do ye part, because everything thats his, is hers. Until DEATH.
2006-10-17 11:02:47 · answer #8 · answered by theladylooking 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
let him know that it's bothering you.
2006-10-17 09:59:41 · answer #9 · answered by Meow4Moe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋