Ok Here's the deal. I have this male friend, we've been friends since freshman year of HS, which is now almost 10 years. We've always hung out and stuff normal. One time last year we had sex, and since then for the past year, we still hang out as usual, but we also have sex.
The thing is I'm starting to have feelings for him, and I dont know what to do. When I spend the night with him, its awesome, he's so sweet to me. But we only hang out a few times a month. I dont think he wants anything serious, and I dont think he wants a relationship. I'm not even sure I do, but I'm definitely falling for him. He has no idea, and I dont know what to do. It seems like he likes me, but then sometimes, its just as a friend. Should I tell him.....I'm afraid that if he doesnt feel the same way he'll be weird around me, and I dont want to ruin our friendship.
Any suggestions?? Sorry so long.
2006-10-17 09:48:00 · 21 answers · asked by Britney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I will let you know right now that he does not like you anymore than a friend. Right now he is loving the benefits. If he liked u more than a friend he would make time to be with you more often. Why does he need to go out with you if he is getting everything that he wants without being obligated to be with only you. Drop him and find someone new befor eyou get hurt even more.
2006-10-17 10:10:11 · answer #1 · answered by The All Knowing Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you have a friends with benefits relationship going on. Tough call as to whether you say anything to him because you risk losing him altogether. If its worth the risk, I'd say go for it. If you don't want to ruin the friendship you already have, I'd say wait it out alittle longer. Men are slow when it comes to emotions, it might take some time for him to figure out that you are the best thing for him, and he may perhaps approach you. In the end just follow your heart. A woman's intuition mostly never steers them wrong.
2006-10-17 09:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have had that problem before get a friend to ask him how would he feel if that happened. Then you go from there with the answer because if he cares then youo wouldnt want to ruin a great friendship. But if he says that he wouldnt mind then go for it but just make sure that you swear to each other that if it doesnt work out that it wont ruin yall's friendship. Hope it works
2006-10-17 09:55:45 · answer #3 · answered by lindsay_jennifer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first of all if you are falling in love with him because you are having sex with him, quit having sex with him, than hang with him without the sex and see how it goes than if you still have the same feelings for him tell him. Or just quit hanging out with him and get a boyfriend instead.
2006-10-17 09:52:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell him . anyway the friendship you used to have (though it seems it´s the same) is not the same anymore (at least not for you). I´m sorry to say this, but i´m almost sure he´ll go backwards, if this happens don´t get discouraged at all, he maybe later thinks again the whole thing and starts calling you again once he gets the new perspective of the situation.
good luck.
2006-10-17 09:55:51 · answer #5 · answered by whothatBE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thought is maybe you could write down which part of the "friendship" you feel would be ruined by telling him how you feel, and what would happen if it did?
Once you figure out how important that really is to you, you can make a decision on what to do.
2006-10-17 09:59:56 · answer #6 · answered by Jill S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think he just likes the booty calls, but you can try spending more time with him (not in bed). When you think you are ready just ask him if he has feelings for you. If he says no then sorry but I've got no advice for that besides find someone else. If he says yes though, then you are good to go.
2006-10-17 09:58:30 · answer #7 · answered by Plague92 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!!!
Send the message to him indirectly that you like him. not just like him but REALLY REALLY LIKE him. Your friends could help you with this.
My guess is either he is not ready to commit his feelings to you just yet because of his commitment elsewhere
OR
His is a real **** and taking you for a ride as his backup. coz he knows that you will always be there when he is wanting.
Whatever be the case Don't keep quiet to regret it later on.
2006-10-17 10:03:20 · answer #8 · answered by guy_darj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, kiss the friendship good bye either way, the sex ruined that.
Second, he loves the booty calls, be asured of that, but he may not want a girlfriend.
2006-10-17 09:50:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen you may not like what I need to say from my point of view!
You may have feelings for him but I would not start living with him for any reason. Be honest as your can be with him about how you feel but don't give in to him if he asks for anything more..You need to show each other with more respect.
2006-10-17 09:54:35 · answer #10 · answered by Stacey Lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋