As your walking down the street, a Majik Elf jumps out in front of you....?

Question

She tells you that you have been selected for a majik treat!
You can have three wishes...ONLY three though (sorry no wishing for more wishes..tis agains the Elf Union Rules)
The only other condition about the wishes is that they must be totally selfish and benifit you first and foremost.
Oh and you only have ten minutes to make all three wishes or you get NONE of them.
Okay, now what do you wish for?

Answer 1

Bigger Boobies, I want all the people who talked **** about me, to always bang there heads into the wall every 30 mins. I would leave my husband for John Satmos... LOLOL