My Teen Gone "emo"?

Question

My teen daughter sneaks out just about every night to go to parties and have sex. She doesn't tell me about it but ive seen her e-mails with my parental controls and heard her on the phone. I tried talking to her but then she started cutting herself! I asked her friends if they noticed a change in her behavior and they said your daughter went "emo" and there's no changing that. What does that mean? I've taken her to therapy but she just sits there biting her nails for an hour and doesn't say a word to her therapist. She's rebelious and out of control. Next thing I know she'll be pregnant by 15! Help me!

Answer 1

one of my best friends turned EMO, im 23 he is 20 he turned like 2 years ago and is slowley growing out of it. he to used to cut himself. he grew out of that when he got a girlfriend that was sorta emo but didn't cut herself.
i have had many arguments with my friend about emo's and what its all about. but basicly its a fad. and it will change into somthing else a few years from now.
its just a excuse to act like your life is **** and that ur unhappy. when really u have it pretty nice. expessily compared to people in other countrys.
personaly. I would straight up lay down some rules.
if she cuts her self. u lay stuff down even harder. stuff that emberesses her. dont let her buy cloths that are emo like or dress like that, ground her for everything emo related. if u don't make it tuff she will keep doing that ****.
also. my friend used the same knife between alot of friends on cutting themselves and i accidintly pricked myself with his knife once and was worried about aids. so make sure she stops cutting herself she can contract a deadly desise or hiv from cutting herself with someone elses knife.

I can't give much else advice except for giving her serious punishment for things like cutting herself or sneaking out. and if u don't make the punishment stick she won't ever learn so if u ground her and she sneaks out. bar the windows and ground her even longer for the sneaking out attempt.

if u wanna talk more about this or learn more about EMO u can messege me
on aol or aim messenger at streetlethel187. or on yahoo at trevorbborden
or on msn at [e-mail] i can ask my friend that is emo. what he would hate as a punishment that would make him stop. and tell you :)

Answer 2

I'm 14 and many of my classmates have gone "emo", so I can clearly understand what are you talking about. Your daughter has probably been influenced by some of her friends who are deep in the gothical lifestyle. She wants to believe that you are against her. All she does is not real - she is just imagining that she is problematical and, believe me, she wants to show it more then anything else. As more attention you will give her, as more she will show it and as more she will be satisfied. But on some point of time she will forget that it is all not real and will believe that is what the life is. The thing that she'll be pregnant by 15 is not the worst that can happen to her, because this lifestyle is closely connected with drugs. Be a little bit aggressive: Do not let her go anywhere, control every her move, buy her some normal cloth, throw away everything strange from her room. For some time she will hate you, but then she will thank you. But actually I haven't ever been so, that's why I can't be absolutely sure.
Good luck

Answer 3

Ahhh! Being a teenager myself, I can try to help you as best I can. I can say that probably the worst thing you can do is ground her and lock her in her room until she's 18. Why? Because all she'll do is sneak out even more. The cutting/emo/parties thing is part of the whole "rebellion" thing of being a teen. Personally, I think it's pointless, but the majority of teens think it's "cool" and nescessary.

"Emo" is one of today's labels. It's sort of a twist on the "punk" label, and it involves self-loathing and cutting.

It sounds like the cutting thing is for attention. Try to figure out why she wants attention. Have you been not paying enough attention to her? Does she feel alone and left out by the girls her age?

I'll be 100% honest: sitting down and talking with her WON'T WORK. She will stare at you and bite her nails.

I think you should probably try counseling. Maybe go to one session by yourself to figure out how to talk to her and then bring her to a few. It will take a while for her to open up.

Good luck!

Answer 4

First of all you probably embaressed the hell out of her if she knows you went through her e-mails.

Emo is another label. You know like goth, prep, punk, s.ut, ect. Emo is a trend right now. The whole hair dye, slit wrists, black fingernails, and studs is really in. I don't think you can keep her from going emo. Just let her live through this stupid stage because there's no stopping it. If you try to stop it she'll just drag it on for longer. And she probably likes going to the physocologist just so she can sit there and rebel against you. Especially if you are sitting in the room with her. Oh and I definately wouldn't suggest swiching her schools or barring her windows. That would just drag it out longer and she'd probably be ten times worse.

If I'm speaking to the mother then suggest the pill. Tell her its to regulate her periods or something. If I'm speaking to the dad then have mom do it. Good luck and hang in there.

Answer 5

Emo is like being emotionally distressed..they dress in black, or wear gothic type clothing. Usually emo kids cut themselves, say they hate their lives, their worlds usually revolve around music... they just need a lot of help. Bringing her to a therapist was probably one of the worst ways to go about it. Talking to her isn't going to help either. Some how keep her from sneaking out. But otherwise, there isn't much to do.. it's one of those teen phases she will get over sooner or later, let it be and things will fall into place. but don't forget, the more rules, the more she'll rebel.

Answer 6

Emo is just another outlook and way to dress. Like a prep or a goth or a punk or a straightedge. Emo stands for emotional... It's very much a follow the leader type thing. Your daughter is 15 you said? Well there you go. When I turned 14 I lost it. I went 'goth' and started smoking and doing hard drugs... almost everyone in my 8th grade class went absolutely berzerk. I am clean and happy and responsible and creative and wonderful now... and I think that your emo kid will have less problems than me... goth/punk. I cut myself too back then... this is a big subject if you want help email me [e-mail] alright? oh... and i also got pregnant when I was 15 lol... I'd love to help you out, really... please write. I know how bad i made my mother feel and I don't want you to feel like that.

Answer 7

You need to have a talk with her ASAP. She is a self-destructive being, a treat to herself and her future. Emo doesn't have anything to do with it since I'm an Emo kid, a virgin, I don't cut myself, and I don't do drugs. She is only 14 and not even legal. She doesn't deserve half the respect you give her since she is show you by sneaking out that she does not love herself and she doesn't respect you. She her YOU ARE BOSS and put a foot up her butt. Bring her to church. Make her change schools. Bar her windows or change her room. Military boot camp does wonders. There are some people you just can't change, but she may not be one of them. Love her and don't give up on her. If she sees you are actively trying to help her, she just might calm down. This cutting might be a cry for help, so therepy or counsiling just might help. Good luck.

Answer 8

ok, so ive jsut stumblued across this...
im 16, emo and would be concidered in on the emo/screamo scene.
try not to worry, the only idvise i have.
she will do what she wants to, you cant help it. the more you try change ehr teh worse shell get. parties, there normal, drugs are too.
dont worry, its pretty narmal growing up at them moment.
out of everyone i know there is only one person i am worried about.
so teh chances are is shes fine, i mysepf went through a phase at about 13 of relentless drinking nad cloapsing, waking up in my own puke.
i have begun to grow out of it, i am now at a private school, i got in on ability. so it doesnt mean shes messing up her life.
it is far safer her doing this than gonig down the streight edge route. if she does that then she might become ana/mia. A tube down your throut a few times if far safer than an eating disorder. and so many girls have them atm. there a trend.
hope this helps abit more than what you already have as answers.

Answer 9

I've never heard of 'EMO', but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Some of these kids nowadays have a whole vocabulary of their own. I'm SO sorry you're having to deal with this. You'd think the therapist would be doing a better job!! I will keep you in my prayers. I suggest you see another therapist. I'm scared for your daughter as well.

Answer 10

Emo is like a combo of skater and goth. They dress in black, wear heavy eye makeup and enjoy vandalism. And that is about all they enjoy. They are depressed and cut themselves. Make sure she doesnt get outta the house! Ground her from the computer everytime she sneaks out!