I went to the er last tuesday because i wasn't feeling well after the doctor gave me my rx the nurse peeked in and said by the way your test results came back positve. what test results ??? I asked ..... your pregnant the nurse replied..... I didnt believe her but im now positive three test later. Im 20 years old and have a full time job and am going to collage part time ...My boyfriend also has a fulltime job he is 27.. The problem is six months ago he got me pregnant and when i told my mom she pressured me into having an abortion and i deeply regret doing that and promised myself never to do that again. I used birth control for the first three months but stoped taking it because of complications. i'm soo scared and I need someone to talk to but if i tell my mom she will make it seem like im ruining my life. i just wish she would support me like my boyfriends mom does...... any advice about any of this please???
2006-10-17 09:29:41 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Your mom just wants to see you live life..maybe date more people before you commit, maybe have fun, and not have that many responsibilities.
When you bring a child into this world, you have to put yourself last for almost everything. I'm not saying it's difficult to put your child first, because as a mother, that's what your instinct calls for. Not everyone is meant to party and date a lot of people. So if your motherly instinct is calling out, go for it. You will prepare for this situation and a lot will just come naturally. In my experience, I had my first child young, I was only 18. Do I regret it? Not in the least. I grew up faster than my friends who didn't have children. But now when I look at them, so burned out, and they look like they are at least 10 yrs. older than me, by comparison, I have so many more accomplishments to show. The love my children have for me and that of course I have for them, is stronger and purer than anything I have known. Sure babies keep you up, but the party life, woh! it plays a good role in aging. Would I sacrifice parenthood for singlehood, NO. I am happy where I am at.
2006-10-17 09:45:12 · answer #1 · answered by E! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother only wants what's best for you - and she probably doesn't want to end up raising your baby. Think hard about what you're committing to. babies grow into toddlers and teenagers. They are very expensive and will take ALL of your time. They come first - you and your life second. Any mother will tell you that that's just the way it is. What if your boyfriend decides to not stay a part of this? I believe you should do what is right for you, but consider HOW you're going to do this. You are still only 20 years old. Are you willing to come last for the next 21 years? What if your boyfriend decided that he wasn't going to pay you anything ever for support and dropped out of your life. (yes, things like that happen everyday). Could you afford the insurance, diapers, daycare, formula, clothing, medicines, transportation, stable environment, etc. by yourself?
Many many women have been through what you're going through. This is probably one of th toughest decisions you will have to make - make it well with a lot of consideration.
By the way, I have three teenage daughters myself and I had two abortions when I was 20 and 24.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
2006-10-17 09:40:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you are pregnant and that you are happy about it and will NOT have an abortion . Tell her that there are lots of women in the world that go to school, have jobs and have a family. Tell her you are not ruining your life and that you are old enough to make your own decisions now and that you love her, but this is now your life. If she can't accept it, then that is her problem, but eventually she will come around. I don't understand how she could have you risk your life by having an abortion in the first place, but for her to have you abort her granchild is awful. Embrace your boyfriends mother, that is awesome that she is supporting your decision.
God be with you, honey, with love, Juanita
2006-10-17 15:22:37 · answer #3 · answered by nevada nomad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom and also tell her your old enough to make your own decisions with out her. You are 20 years old you do not need your mother's consent to have a baby, I don't know why you let her pressure you into having an abortion the first time. It's not like you are a minor...you are an adult. You can make your own decisions at anytime you just have to exercise your right. It will turn out all right in the end. Your mom won't be able to stay mad forever, especially when she sees and holds her grandchild for the first time.
2006-10-17 10:49:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
By her 'momma don't preach' by Madonna. The boyfriend didn't 'get you pregnant 6 months ago'. You both did so you can't blame him.
It isn't your mums decision, it is yours and your boyfriends. You are 20 now and it is good to listen to mums advice but you are way past the point where she should actually make your decisions for you.
You have your boyfriends support, his mums support, your own ideas and your mum is just one point of view among many. You have a part time job, he has a full time job, he is old enough, you are old enough and no one ever has a baby to make life easier so it seems like the time for you is as good or better than for most people when they get pregnant.
You are moving into the power generation and your mum is moving up to the powerless generation. You are going to be a mum and control your baby's life until she grows up. That job is over for your mum now because her baby is grown up and it is time for you to let your mum understand that.
2006-10-17 09:47:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are legally an adult. If you are not expecting your mom to support you or pay for your college, etc then you are just going to have to be an adult and tell her that she'll have to accept you, your boyfriend and your baby. Just to be fair to both sides, I must tell you that I can understand where she is coming from. Statiscally it doesn't look good for you and your relationship. The fact is you could end up young, unwed with a child and all alone. She is trying to speak to you from her age and experience. When you are older you will see she was right in trying to help you this way.....babies are HARD work, they are expensive and are a LIFETIME commitment. You have so much of your life ahead of you......be free and have fun now why you can.
2006-10-17 09:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by jachooz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, i can't believe your mom pressured you into something like that even being an adult... I would straight up tell my mom that i was pregnant and i am keeping it no matter what you say can keep me aborting my child this time... I was 17 the first time i was pg and my mom never said abort it or anything like that... She was upset and didn't talk to me for 2 wks, but when she was over it she supported me... Your mom is mean!
2006-10-17 09:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by DO IT! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it can be very scairy. But, you are 20 years old and an adult. You have the right to make decisions for yourself. Mom may be upset when you break the news and whether or not she wants to be supportive is up to her.
I am glad that you have support through your boyfriend and his family. I didn't have that when I was pregnant with my daughter and I was younger too.
Do what is in your heart not what your mom thinks because, at that very moment, she is upset.
2006-10-17 09:40:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
congrats hard to belive at 20 you would let your mom make choices for you. Do what you want not want others want you to do. My advice is to tell your mom how you feel let her know she's the main reason you aborted the other pregnancy. Let her know you regreat it a lot and with or without her support your not aborting this pregnancy. I belive in abortion and the right to have one i got pregnant at 17 still living at home my mom could not make me do it. I now have a 10.5 year old. 1st step to being a adult is to stop letting mommy tell you what you need.
2006-10-17 09:37:06 · answer #9 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
are you sure you're ready to be a mom? a full time job is awesome, but that no garantuee to keep the job.. and boyfriends come/go.. are you sure he's going to be supporting your child if he decides pastures are greener on the other side? If you can stand up to your mom, then maybe you're not ready to be a mom.. I am 23 years old, I got pregnant at 22 and had my son in June.. I wouldnt change it for the world.. When my dad found out, we were in Serbia.. People over there are very old fashion.. My uncles asked my dad what he was going to do.. he said "I can either embrace this, and enjoy my grandson, or I can cut them out and not only lose my daughter, but my grandson too"... Simply tell her, I am going to keep this child.. you can either embrace it or not.. You're going to be the only one missing out.. Simple as that.. I'm sure as your pregnancy progresses, she'll come around
2006-10-17 09:36:01 · answer #10 · answered by Ash 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋